1
2. That this is why we cannot have nice things
3. That all your base belong to us
4. 'Shrooms are good for your health
5. Alarms will attract zombies. Guns, however, will not.
6. All Zombie Apocalypses result in the military screwing everyday people over.
7. Shooting people in the head will mean insta-death
8. Small, fat, moustached Italian Plumbers make a high pitched ping noise when they jump
9. People will leave you extra ammunition and medical devices at safe points out of kindness. You shouldn't do the same.
10. Fat Russians can take more bullets than a brick wall, and still move faster.
11. If a companion is killed you are perfectly entitled to steal his possessions
12. Shiny, silver pistol is more powerful than a rifle.
13.
14. Throwing knifes will always instant kill, where a rifle round through the chest would not.
15. Unless it is a minigun then the faster a gun fires, the less damage it will do per bullet
16. In the Dark Ages children only had the choice of becoming a Barbarian, Wizard, Dwarf or Amazon Warrior Princess
17. A box with a "+" sign on it will fix any type of wound
18. A minigun takes a long time to spin-up and will overheat quicker than a single barrel machine gun.
19. Elves are great archers but can't fight for shit with swords.
20. AC-130s will only help if you can kill people, not if you badly need support.
21. You can get through a game with the shittest weapons
22: Nuking your soldiers when they're killing off the enemy is a completely viable and effective strategy.
23. Shotgun have the most damage even if the enemies are wearing full body amour.
24. Tank shells don't hurt infantry.
25. Melee attacks will do more damage than weapons
27. Tanks do not use the co-axial machine guns.
28. STRIP THE FLESH, SALT THE WOUNDS!
29. Normal soldiers are perfectly fine shooting a .50Cal standing up and can reload it running.
30. Whatever happens, there will always be bullets
31. That even if you have the police, FBI and military chasing you in your car, you can always get away from them
32. No matter how much police you kill, there will always be more
33. That eating pills gets rid of the ghosts
34. If you leave a room with an enemy in it, it will never follow you, or figure out how to open a door
35. Dinosaurs can be brought back to life through 7,495,768 means. And Velociraptors are always the meanest.
36. You will always know exactly how long left until a bomb is about to explode, even if you are no where near it
37. You can, however, find out if a bomb is going to explode by how many beeps it's making.
38. Don't worry if you die, you will be ressurected in about 15 seconds.
39. If you're not playing Arena.
40. It is always the fault of the military, or a military-based organisation.
41. Your health is measured out of 100
42. Don't panic!
43. Civilians just don't matter.
44. Children? In a war zone? Doesn't happen!
45. Don't worry! Your health regenerates over time.
46. That helicopter gunship will conveniently be bingo on fuel after a couple of seconds of largely redundant support.
47. Propaganda can magically heal your soldiers and repair your tanks.
48. You will never, ever, need to use the toilet
49: Bullets transcend the laws of physics.
50. Gordon Freeman never sleeps.
51. Reticles are drawn into your eyes
52. That when you jump holding a weapon you are able to keep it dead level and fire at the same time
53. jumping 2 feet in the air and landing flat on your chest will do you no damage no matter how many times you do it.
54. Jumping off edges will make you automatically cling onto it for dear life
55. SHOOT THE TANK!
56. Sometimes bullets can damage helicopters, other times they are completely immune to them
57. Capturing monkeys in a butterfly net will save the professor and that ginger girl with a British accent.
57. The cake is a lie LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
59. Empty bottles can deflect huge energy blasts.
60. Some things are not balanced for lean.
61. That Blood is for the Blood God and Skulls are for the Skull Throne
62. Car will all ways explode seconds after they catch fire even in water
63. That Snipers never ever, ever need a spotter.
64. No matter how powerful your enemies are, they will always have a weakness.
65: If you start off powerful you will loose it all and then have to gain all your power back over the course of your life.
66. Giant monkeys can throw barrels
67. Hitting soldiers on the heart "WILL NOT" kill them.
68. No matter how hard you try, you CAN'T reach some of those coins.
69: The fastest way to reduce speed while driving is to go head on into a wall. In most cases this will not result in any consequences.
70: Production of Tanks takes less than 30 seconds
71. Infantry brush off tank shells
72. Bullets damages tanks.
73. You can build a massive command center in less than 5 minutes.
74. You should not keep headcrabs as pets
75. Entering in a sewer can teleport you to Warp Zones
76:Commanders are squad leaders are chosen on democratic basis.
77. When you finish a magazine then yell "CHANGING MAG"
78. After spending half an hour chasing an arms dealer through a Brazillian slum because you "want him alive", it's perfectly reasonable to tackle him off of a three story building into a car, because there's no such thing as fall damage.
79: When the commanding officer says "We only have limited forces" you always have unlimited units to deploy
80. Shooting a rocket at your feets won't kill you, instead it'll make you jump higher.
81: You must construct additional pylons.
82: XBox live is inherently full of insecure babies.
83. You can never have enough Tib silos
84: bullets left in magazines you discard magically polymorph into other magazines.
85. No matter how many bullets you take, you'll still be able to revive if you hide behind a non-concrete obstacle for 3 seconds
86: Infantry can (With luck) run as fast as a tank
87. Everytime you reload you throw the mag away.
88: Dwarves and elves ALWAYS hate each other.
89: Dwarves are master crafters but have no magical capability
90: Elves are in tune with nature but their race is dying out.
91: Humans are the dominant species but are always fighting each other.
92. Sitting on a bench between two other guys makes you invisible to city guards.
93. There are soviet assault rifles and molotov cocktails in your average home.
94. You need to collect 30 flags in 2 minutes in order to get info about your next mission.
95. Megaviruses will kill everybody except you who will mutate and be able to kill even more innocents.
96. you can always jump at least two meters into the air for no apparent reason.
97. You never fall over for no reason
98. Vehicles never run out of fuel
99. Jumping makes you run faster
100. Humans are immune to all diseases, they will never develop any coughs, sneezes, hickups, etc... unless it is critical to the storyline
101. GUNS. NEVER. JAM.
102. All a spy needs to fool people is a cardboard mask
103. Stabbing people with a saw will make you able to become invulnerable
104. That we always have the moral highground
105. Gaz and Col. Shepherd can never die D:
106. Eating sandviches can heal gunshot wounds.
107. It is actually impossible to climb ladders.
108. Shooting your friends will only make them say 'Watch where you're pointing that thing'.
109: You yell "Tango sucka!" everytime you pwn someone.
110: Zombies hear ding sounds when they deal out pain.
111. It is impossible to accelerate with air-brakes on
112: Zombies are an undeniable truth.
113. When you plant a claymore you say SPIIIISHKA! Or when throwing a grenade; GRANADA!
114: Every magazine you have has just the right number of bullets to fit the situation you're in. You never have to manually reload a magazine to use it!
115. You don't need a helmet with your HEV suit in hazardous environments.
116: Health potions can cure any injury.
117: The owners of most shops find it physically impossible to move from the spot they are standing in behind the counter.
118: GEL LAYERS ABSORB MOST OF THE IMPACT.
119. Creepy little dolls on trikes like to play games
120. Money can only buy stuff that is highly inferior to what you already have.
121. Some princesses have ass-kicking alter egos, some are fragile little dolls. But every kingdom has one.
122: A royal family will ALWAYS build a high tower and name their doughter Zelda, and there will always be a young/teen boy in the vicinity that has the ability to open chests and fight trough dangerous dungeons just to save this girl, but he can't speak
123. Thank you Mario, but our princess is in another castle!
124. If you're the hero in a JRPG, you're probably mute too.
125. Scientist fights with crowbars
126. At the beginning of every adventure, one of you friends or colleagues will walk you through stuff you already know like looking around, walking, shooting etc...
127: YOU CAN'T SEE YOUR LEGS!
128. First person view is inferior to third-person.
129. Sex is massively pixelated
129. If you throw a jar of piss at your opponent, all your attacks will deal critical damage.
130. you just lost the game
131. Jars of piss also reveal those hidden to the naked eye.
132. The longer you look through a scope of a weapon, the more damage you can do with it.
133. The longer you look through a scope, the more accurate you will be.
134: A small layer of leather adds +6 to your armor level.
135: Killing yourself in a video-game is funner then killing yourself in reality.
136. It's possible for one person to completely repair a heavily damaged tank within minutes by only using a blow torch and welding in the same spot.
137. It's possible to become completely invisible while wearing a watch and suit.
138. Shooting syringes at someone will (eventually) kill them and heal you.
139. Making your hand into the shape of a gun while pointing it at someone and shouting "POW!" will kill them.
140. You can load machines with dual gattling cannons and quad-rocket pods and have it still rotate on a dime.
141. Tank shells will always hit the foot of infantry
142. 7.62mm bullets can penetrate super-heavy armor.
143: You can repair an enormous aircraft carrier back to full health with nothing but a wrench.
144. Infantry can run from one end of the map and back without ever growing tired or complaining for the need of rest or food.
145. A Medic can "shoot" you with a medicine gun, that, when charged, can make you impervious to any sort of damage. Said medic can also heal you with the former gun of any type of injury you may have sustained. (Another variant of this gun can apparently heal and cause the "patient's" weapon to do more damage).
146. Honking your horn will make people get into your vehicle.
147. Aside from sniper rifles, weapons that are gold kill in one shot and weapons that aren't gold take several shots.
148: Pointing a laser dot at something makes your units attack the target faster.
149. You can make a structure to fire multiple ballistic missiles and do more damage than the same amount of missile launchers that carry those ballistic missiles can dish out in a short period of time.
150: Realism is almost nonexistent.
151: Structural Repair processes will be indicated by ghostly wrench floating above said structure.
152. Blasting propaganda over oversized speakers will make weapons fire even faster and magically heal wounds and repair damage.
153. A sniper scope's view will always move around through the same circle and at the same speed. It never jerks or acts in a random fashion.
154. Bounty hunters are extremely attractive, lithe women.
155. Bullets never ever get reflected or get change direction by hitting a hard object at a shallow angle.
156. Skateboards instantly kill you as soon as they touch water.
157: H2O can be deadly
If you are on fire, instead of stopping, dropping, and rolling, you should run around, let your teammates know that you're burning, and wait for the fire to extinguish itself.
158. Wooden Viking shields can absorb explosives.
159. A sword possessed by a bloodthirsty, malevolent spirit is still "me bottle of scrumpeh".
160. Inaccurate weapon models are the result of lazy and careless developers.
161. Wearing hats (any hats) can increase your perceptions by 1
162: Tanks can be built for the low cost of 600$
163: I can turn my limbs into massive claws/scythes/other implements and use them to hack a city to pieces.
164: RED WUNZ GO FASTAH
165. X marks the spot.
166. Friendly fire never happens unless you're playing HC mode.
167. You can never injure yourself by running too fast into a wall, you just keep running on the same spot
168. You can hop non-stop and shoot over obstacles you normally wouldn't want to shoot over anyway without getting tired
169. Sleeping heals all wounds, but can only be done so in specifically designated rooms. You can not sleep in other rooms or outside.
170. Being shot anywhere will instantly spray blood right into your eyes
171: There is ALWAYS trouble in the Middle East area.
172. Doing somersaults actually makes you go faster.
173. You never make a mistake when using a weapon, only at crucial, story plot driven moments
174. You can fly, drive, pilot.... ANYTHING
175. No one will tell you to stop jumping up and down in a war zone
176: Most doors you will find are locked and impossible to break open.
177. Every one uns faster with a knife.
178. In the future there is always one world currency
179. People usually never lock their house, and letting you enter to pillage whatever you can.
180: People don't care if you knock over their things, kick stuff around, and make a mess. But they will call the guards if you pick up a small scrap of paper.
181. Ammunition is infinate! (as long as you wait a minute)
182: Characters won't refer to you by your chosen name
183: when walking or running you will never ever skid, trip or bump into things resulting in you falling over. you will never fall over. if, however, you should fall from any height, it is only logical that you land with straightened legs in a perfectly upwards position.
184: you can sprint at full speed indefinitely as long as you pause for three or more seconds between each sprint.
185: BULLETS THE SIZE OF SMALL DRINKING BOTTLES WILL NOT DAMAGE YOUR BODY IN ANY WAY.
186: Every area you are placed in has invisible walls which either prevent passage or kill you slowly
187. Press X to not die.
188. Everything is capable of exploding. Everything.
189. THE SAS ARE SUPERHUMAN KILLING MACHINES
190. When in doubt, explode
191. Don't let Chyros be in doubt
192. Don't play Chyros.
193. Anyone can set up a bomb. Anyone can disarm it. And shooting it doesn't blow it up.
194. Killing people entitles you to better weapons, attachments and grants you the ability to call in air support or nuclear weapons
195. The more the opposition calls you a "bloody bastard", the better you are doing.
196. The lamb is not a lie!
197. Nobody understands the concept of a 5 second fuse, it always takes at least a minute for the bomb to go off.
198. Smacking someone on the back kills them instantly.
199. A grenade launcher with 6 "slots" has only 4 since the other two are fake
Edited by Wizard, 29 January 2010 - 22:43.
