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#1101 SquigPie

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Posted 12 April 2011 - 06:11

They just want to get more money, grådige jyder.

On the other hand, if they'd just banned soda. That would've meant they'd have to check each and every students lunchbag.

Edited by SquigPie, 12 April 2011 - 06:15.

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As long as the dark foundation of our nature, grim in its all-encompassing egoism, mad in its drive to make that egoism into reality, to devour everything and to define everything by itself, as long as that foundation is visible, as long as this truly original sin exists within us, we have no business here and there is no logical answer to our existence.
Imagine a group of people who are all blind, deaf and slightly demented and suddenly someone in the crowd asks, "What are we to do?"... The only possible answer is, "Look for a cure". Until you are cured, there is nothing you can do.
And since you don't believe you are sick, there can be no cure.
- Vladimir Solovyov

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#1102 Major Fuckup

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Posted 15 April 2011 - 20:48

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A 49-year-old Melbourne man is expected to be charged with theft after a bizarre prank on Thursday night's The Footy Show.

The man, an audience member, allegedly stole a production team buggy and went on a joyride for several kilometres before parking up outside an inner-city strip club.

The daring driver commandeered the motorised cart from the car park of the AFL show's Docklands studios.

After a few laps of the studios, the Montmorency man ventured towards the city, apparently going unnoticed by security staff, Nine News reports.

He even became an unlikely chauffer to passersby, offering rides on the back tray of the cart.

"Basically people were getting in and he was driving them backwards and forwards for half an hour," Nine Network lighting director Rohan Thornton said.

The man drove the cart, which belongs to the Footy Show's lighting crew, through the Docklands, down Flinders Street and eventually into King Street.

Members of the lighting crew jumped on pushbikes to go in search of the buggy, which was found parked illegally outside the Waterside Hotel.

By the time police were alerted, the man had headed across the street to the Spearmint Rhino Gentlemen's Nightclub, where police made the arrest.

The driver was later released but is expected to be charged on summons for theft.

The buggy has been returned to the Nine Network studios.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/8...er-steals-buggy
FUCKING LEGEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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#1103 deltaepsilon

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Posted 16 April 2011 - 01:54

ROFL, nice.
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#1104 Alias

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Posted 17 April 2011 - 12:08

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A Russian friend of mine has posted this absolutely amazing story.
(here's the original but it's in Russian).

He works at a hard-drive repair center in a Russian town right next to the Chinese border. A couple of days ago a customer has brought a broken 500Gb USB-drive that he had bought in a Chinese store across the river, for an insanely low price. But the drive was not working: if you, say, save a movie onto the drive, playing the saved movie back resulted in replaying just the last 5 minutes of the film.
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The whole service center was rolling on the floor laughing. This was not the first time someone has brought a disk like that. And the previous drives were also bought in China... They opened up the drive right in front of the astonished customer. This is what they saw:
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It's a 128-MB flash-drive. Working in a "looped" mode - when it runs out of space, it starts overwriting from the beginning. My friend said they're still trying to figure out how did the Chinese do that. Because the drive reports "correct" file sizes and disk-capacity. And the "looped-overwriting" does not touch the other files present on the drive.

The device looks pretty convincing - lots of tech labels and stuff... The Chinese salesman even saved something to the drive to demonstrate that it "works" in the store.
http://blog.jitbit.c...agic-drive.html

MAXIMUM TROLL

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#1105 CJ

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Posted 17 April 2011 - 12:23

Dunno about you, but I heard this in the French news where they interviewed the repairman and the guy who bought this, and they didn't sound Russian at all :read:

View PostChyros, on 11 November 2013 - 18:21, said:

I bet I could program an internet


#1106 Destiny

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Posted 17 April 2011 - 12:31

Maybe he had a bad throat :read:
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#1107 Major Fuckup

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Posted 21 April 2011 - 16:48

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Parents' fury after Bobby Davro simulates sex with giant kangaroo during children's panto
Comedian Bobby Davro left parents shocked by simulating sex in a giant kangaroo suit during a children's panto.

Davro was playing the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz and made lewd movements in front of children as young as five.

He also allegedly made racist jokes during the performance at Preston's Charter Theatre.

The actor, 52, repeatedly referred to Chinese people eating dogs and pulled 'Chinaman' faces.
Davro

Theatre bosses apologised after parents complained the show was not suitable for children
Davro

Not amused: Parents were shocked at Bobby Davro's performance during the Wizard of Oz in Preston, where he wore a giant kangaroo suit

Theatre bosses and the production company have now been forced to apologise after angry parents complained.
Comedian Bobby Davro

Comedian Bobby Davro has apologised for causing any offence

Grandmother Annabelle Fleming, 67, who took her five-year-old grandaughter Jane to the show, said: 'I was furious. I think he thought it was a pub audience.'

Another parent said Davro pulled up his trouser leg and demanded that one lady in the audience 'kiss his leg better'.

She said he then made a lewd joke as he offered sweets to co-star, Steph Fearon, saying: 'That lady over there has already had my Nut Cluster.'

Mrs Fleming, from Leyland, said: "I'm not counting the cost but my tickets were £52 and you don't pay £52 to see some bloke make out with a kangaroo.

'We got some of the last few seats and, as it was sold out, I think he thought it was a captive audience and he could do what he liked.

'He had an older lady in the audience kissing his leg better. You don't do that in front of kids. It wasn't funny. I was embarrassed.'

Mother-of-one Rachel Ralphson, 36, from Euxton, took her nine-year-old daughter Maddy and said the show was a 'bit wrong'.

'The kangaroo bit was a bit much but it was the Chinese dog-eating jokes that were really bad.
Davro

The comedian also allegedly made racist jokes about Chinese people eating dogs

Davro

Bizarre: Davro asked one woman in the audience to kiss his leg better

'He didn't just do it once and also he was doing Chinese impressions but really putting it on. It was a little bit over the top.

'It was very risque jokes which you know the kids won't understand but I think he was a little bit over the top especially with the casual racism.

'Maddy didn't really get the references but some of the parents were just looking at each other.

'There were some points where I didn't want to look at my daughter in case she had understood and then I'd have to explain them.'

In a statement, the Guild Hall said: 'The Guild Hall and Charter Theatre would like to apologise to any patrons who may have been offended by the content of The Wizard Of Oz performances on Thursday 14th April. Any complaints will be dealt with accordingly and in due course.'

A spokesman for Davro said: 'New World Productions strive to produce top quality family entertainment that is suitable for all ages.

'We try to pitch our shows so that there is something for everyone. This obviously does not suit all tastes and we can only apologise if on this occasion it offended the few.

'All Bobby's routines are his material and have been performed in various pantomimes over the years.

'We have received excellent feedback for this production so far and are proud to be bringing such a fun show to the stage.

'There are thousands of people who have loved the show and thousands of children who have loved taking part in it.'

Davro's career reached its peak in the mid-1980s with ITV Saturday night shows, Bobby Davro on the Box and Bobby Davro's TV Annual.

In the 1990s, he switched to BBC, with shows like Public Enemy Number One and talent show, The Heat Is On.

In 1995, saucy posters advertising his adult-only show at the Charter Theatre were torn down by town hall sexism watchdogs saying they contravened authority guidelines after 11 people complained.

His popularity waned and he disappeared from screens for some years. Recently, reality TV helped him make a comeback as he starred in programmes like Celebrity Come Dine With Me, I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here! and Strictly Come Dancing.

He also spent a year playing Shirley Carter's lover, Vinne Monks, in Eastenders.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-13...l#ixzz1KB2KLMci



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#1108 Libains

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Posted 21 April 2011 - 17:08

It's the Daily Mail. If they can provoke outrage at the most seemingly benign things, they will. Notably, most of the audience is laughing.
For there can be no death without life.

#1109 Ghostrider

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 16:45

Quote

Most people give up their most nagging vices for Lent—like candy, curse words, and Facebook.

But J. Wilson decided to abstain from solid food, choosing instead to drink nothing but beer and water for 46 days.

Strange? You bet. But Wilson, a 38-year-old editor from Iowa, wanted to see if he could emulate German monks of the 16th century who supposedly lived solely on doppelbock beer—“liquid bread”—during Lent.

So he teamed up with an Iowa brewery to create his own doppelbock that would sustain him for 46 days, and got to drinking. Men’s Health caught up with Wilson—now 25 pounds slimmer—to get the scoop on his extreme experiment, and to see how he’s holding up.

Men's Health Link

Yesss... D8

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#1110 Chyros

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 17:04

Booyah. I like his way of thinking.
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#1111 Kichō

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Posted 02 May 2011 - 13:00

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Man sets up home in flood pipe

A Chinese man built himself a one-bed apartment - in a flood pipe.

Mao Li, 30, has lived in the pipe, beside a bridge in Haikou, Hainan province, southern China, for a year.

It even has its own front door - but is to be demolished as officials say it lowers the tone of the area.

However, Li will not be left high and dry - authorities have agreed to rehouse him to make up for destroying his unusual home.

"He will be taken care of and given a proper home. We are a modern city - we can't have people living in pipes," said a spokesman.


Click for photo
http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/M...e_in_flood_pipe

and

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Escape from brothel in China's Jilin province

A naked man was spotted racing across a rooftop in Changchun, capital of north-east China's Jilin province after police raided a brothel. The man in question was seen desperately trying to climb down from the building during the raid. The photographer, a high school student visiting a friend nearby, picked up his cameraphone after hearing the chaos outside: "I worried his private parts would be burned by sliding down the rusty pipe.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/gallery/20...cture=374148281
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#1112 TheDR

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Posted 04 May 2011 - 21:03

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Ingenious owner saves Rare Porsche from flood with floating parking spot

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The owner of what appears to be a rare 964 Porsche 911 saved his car from the floodwaters encroaching his or her property near Louisville, Kentucky with the help of what looks like an inflatable cushion tethered to the house.

April's severe weather wasn't limited to just tornadoes as flooding occurred across large swaths of the country, including in Kentucky along the Ohio River. Given the height of the property above the river, this landowner seems to recognize the threat of flooding. But what of the car?

With a garage on the floor level it looks like this owner went the extra step to make certain his/her pride and joy wasn't destroyed using an inflatable raft tied to the corner of the house (presumably so the 911 doesn't float in the wrong hands).

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Exactly what 964 is worth this kind of treatment? Hard to tell from this one aerial shot, but the widebody kit and overall look indicates it could be one of the Porsche America Roadsters, of which only 250 were made. Even if it wasn't, only 702 C2 turbo-look roadsters were ever built.

If anyone knows who owns this car please let us know what it is or if it survived the cresting of the river.

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F O R T H E N S
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#1113 Major Fuckup

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 06:54

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Not everyone was impressed with the Bieber Fever that swept Sydney when the Canadian pop star arrived for his long-awaited concert last week.

A Bondi Junction teenager has been charged by police after he allegedly broke into the roof of Acer Arena to throw eggs at Justin Bieber during his performance on Friday night.

A number of eggs were thrown at the teen heartthrob and his backup singers during the performance, but all missed.

Acer Arena complained to police after becoming aware of the incident when details were posted on a social networking site.

A 17-year-old was arrested at his home at 7.30am on Thursday and taken to Waverley Police Station where he was charged with break and enter, trespass and malicious damage.

Police also seized a mobile phone among other items.

He has been granted conditional bail to appear at Parramatta Childrens Court on June 2.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/824524...h-egging-bieber
Its a dam shame he missed. If it where me id be throwing bricks :xD:

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#1114 deltaepsilon

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 08:31

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AN Emirati man is being sued for a whopping $10.99 million for failing to have sex with his wife and causing her mental anguish.


http://www.news.com.au/world/wife-demands-...i-1226050020213
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#1115 Destiny

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 11:04

I'm glad I'm not Arab :xD:
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#1116 Alias

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 11:14

Not that you'd want any to begin with, Destiny. :xD:

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#1117 Chyros

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Posted 05 May 2011 - 21:22

View Postdeltaepsilon, on 5 May 2011, 10:31, said:

Quote

AN Emirati man is being sued for a whopping $10.99 million for failing to have sex with his wife and causing her mental anguish.


http://www.news.com.au/world/wife-demands-...i-1226050020213
It sounds like a case for the US tbh :xD: .
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The brave hide behind technology. The stupid hide from it. The clever have technology, and hide it.
—The Book of Cataclysm


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#1118 R3ven

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 00:31

Thanks for the stereotyping, really appreciate it Chyros.

[/sarcasm]

#1119 SquigPie

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 07:45

View PostChyros, on 5 May 2011, 23:22, said:

View Postdeltaepsilon, on 5 May 2011, 10:31, said:

Quote

AN Emirati man is being sued for a whopping $10.99 million for failing to have sex with his wife and causing her mental anguish.


http://www.news.com.au/world/wife-demands-...i-1226050020213
It sounds like a case for the US tbh :D .


Now that we're talking about stereotypes. According to a danish comedian who toured around the world, the only place were people didn't laugh when he made jokes targeted at them was in the Netherlands.

So while Americans may be stupid, you're easily offended :xD:

Edited by SquigPie, 06 May 2011 - 07:46.

Quote

As long as the dark foundation of our nature, grim in its all-encompassing egoism, mad in its drive to make that egoism into reality, to devour everything and to define everything by itself, as long as that foundation is visible, as long as this truly original sin exists within us, we have no business here and there is no logical answer to our existence.
Imagine a group of people who are all blind, deaf and slightly demented and suddenly someone in the crowd asks, "What are we to do?"... The only possible answer is, "Look for a cure". Until you are cured, there is nothing you can do.
And since you don't believe you are sick, there can be no cure.
- Vladimir Solovyov

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#1120 Chyros

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 07:58

View PostSquigPie, on 6 May 2011, 9:45, said:

View PostChyros, on 5 May 2011, 23:22, said:

View Postdeltaepsilon, on 5 May 2011, 10:31, said:

Quote

AN Emirati man is being sued for a whopping $10.99 million for failing to have sex with his wife and causing her mental anguish.


http://www.news.com.au/world/wife-demands-...i-1226050020213
It sounds like a case for the US tbh :D .


Now that we're talking about stereotypes. According to a danish comedian who toured around the world, the only place were people didn't laugh when he made jokes targeted at them was in the Netherlands.

So while Americans may be stupid, you're easily offended :xD:
New stereotype acquired |8!

It wasn't really stereotyping though. I just meant to allude to extreme-claim incidents like the hot coffee case, most of which take place in the US, that's all.
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The brave hide behind technology. The stupid hide from it. The clever have technology, and hide it.
—The Book of Cataclysm


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#1121 SquigPie

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 18:34

View PostChyros, on 6 May 2011, 9:58, said:

View PostSquigPie, on 6 May 2011, 9:45, said:

View PostChyros, on 5 May 2011, 23:22, said:

View Postdeltaepsilon, on 5 May 2011, 10:31, said:

Quote

AN Emirati man is being sued for a whopping $10.99 million for failing to have sex with his wife and causing her mental anguish.


http://www.news.com.au/world/wife-demands-...i-1226050020213
It sounds like a case for the US tbh :D .


Now that we're talking about stereotypes. According to a danish comedian who toured around the world, the only place were people didn't laugh when he made jokes targeted at them was in the Netherlands.

So while Americans may be stupid, you're easily offended :xD:
New stereotype acquired |8!

It wasn't really stereotyping though. I just meant to allude to extreme-claim incidents like the hot coffee case, most of which take place in the US, that's all.


Actually, the hot coffee lawsuit was completely justified when you research it. You see, the coffee was really, REALLY hot. The woman got 2nd (3rd?) degree burns on large parts of her body!

Quote

As long as the dark foundation of our nature, grim in its all-encompassing egoism, mad in its drive to make that egoism into reality, to devour everything and to define everything by itself, as long as that foundation is visible, as long as this truly original sin exists within us, we have no business here and there is no logical answer to our existence.
Imagine a group of people who are all blind, deaf and slightly demented and suddenly someone in the crowd asks, "What are we to do?"... The only possible answer is, "Look for a cure". Until you are cured, there is nothing you can do.
And since you don't believe you are sick, there can be no cure.
- Vladimir Solovyov

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#1122 Chyros

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 20:31

View PostSquigPie, on 6 May 2011, 20:34, said:

View PostChyros, on 6 May 2011, 9:58, said:

View PostSquigPie, on 6 May 2011, 9:45, said:

View PostChyros, on 5 May 2011, 23:22, said:

View Postdeltaepsilon, on 5 May 2011, 10:31, said:

Quote

AN Emirati man is being sued for a whopping $10.99 million for failing to have sex with his wife and causing her mental anguish.


http://www.news.com.au/world/wife-demands-...i-1226050020213
It sounds like a case for the US tbh :D .


Now that we're talking about stereotypes. According to a danish comedian who toured around the world, the only place were people didn't laugh when he made jokes targeted at them was in the Netherlands.

So while Americans may be stupid, you're easily offended :xD:
New stereotype acquired |8!

It wasn't really stereotyping though. I just meant to allude to extreme-claim incidents like the hot coffee case, most of which take place in the US, that's all.


Actually, the hot coffee lawsuit was completely justified when you research it. You see, the coffee was really, REALLY hot. The woman got 2nd (3rd?) degree burns on large parts of her body!
Boiling water doesn't get hotter than about 100 C (exact temp depending on where you live) so it's not like it's lava or anything. McDonald's didn't engineer supercritical coffee just to burn people or anything. And she was just a complete dipshit to throw it all over herself in the first place, let alone getting well over half a million for being a dumbarse for it. When I read law we got tons of weird court cases like that, the American ones invariably being the weirdest and being rewarded the most extravagant claims (consequently also being by far the most interesting ones |8 ).
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The brave hide behind technology. The stupid hide from it. The clever have technology, and hide it.
—The Book of Cataclysm


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#1123 SquigPie

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Posted 08 May 2011 - 19:45

View PostChyros, on 6 May 2011, 22:31, said:

View PostSquigPie, on 6 May 2011, 20:34, said:

View PostChyros, on 6 May 2011, 9:58, said:

View PostSquigPie, on 6 May 2011, 9:45, said:

View PostChyros, on 5 May 2011, 23:22, said:

View Postdeltaepsilon, on 5 May 2011, 10:31, said:

Quote

AN Emirati man is being sued for a whopping $10.99 million for failing to have sex with his wife and causing her mental anguish.


http://www.news.com.au/world/wife-demands-...i-1226050020213
It sounds like a case for the US tbh :D .


Now that we're talking about stereotypes. According to a danish comedian who toured around the world, the only place were people didn't laugh when he made jokes targeted at them was in the Netherlands.

So while Americans may be stupid, you're easily offended :xD:
New stereotype acquired |8!

It wasn't really stereotyping though. I just meant to allude to extreme-claim incidents like the hot coffee case, most of which take place in the US, that's all.


Actually, the hot coffee lawsuit was completely justified when you research it. You see, the coffee was really, REALLY hot. The woman got 2nd (3rd?) degree burns on large parts of her body!
Boiling water doesn't get hotter than about 100 C (exact temp depending on where you live) so it's not like it's lava or anything. McDonald's didn't engineer supercritical coffee just to burn people or anything. And she was just a complete dipshit to throw it all over herself in the first place, let alone getting well over half a million for being a dumbarse for it. When I read law we got tons of weird court cases like that, the American ones invariably being the weirdest and being rewarded the most extravagant claims (consequently also being by far the most interesting ones |8 ).


Quote

It turns out there's a lot more to the story. First of all, the hot coffee wasn't just uncomfortable and embarrassing, it gave her third degree burns over six percent of her body, which required fucking skin grafts. You can see the burns yourself if you're not squeamish.

Secondly, coffee served at that temperature (180 to 190 degrees Fahrenheit) will give a person third-degree burns in two to seven seconds, while home-coffee brewers normally serve coffee at much lower temperatures (130 two 140 degrees) which won't immediately burn you. Yes, Starbucks and other joints do serve coffee at the hotter temperatures -- because some customers prefer it -- but then again, they get sued for it also. Thirdly, she attempted to settle for $20,000 at one point, and McDonald's refused, which is when she started getting cranky.

You may have heard that she got millions of dollars, when the final award was $640,000. Then from that you take out the medical bills (hint: skin grafts aren't cheap).

But she has to take some responsibility, right? She may not have been driving, but she was trying to open the lid in her lap so she could add cream and sugar. That's kind of careless, isn't it? Why couldn't the jury see that?

Well, they did. That's why the compensatory damages portion ($200,000) was reduced by 20 percent, because they ruled it was 20 percent her fault.

Link
Cracked might not be the most trustworthy source, but I'm pretty sure they're right this time.

Anyway, back on topic.

Quote

As long as the dark foundation of our nature, grim in its all-encompassing egoism, mad in its drive to make that egoism into reality, to devour everything and to define everything by itself, as long as that foundation is visible, as long as this truly original sin exists within us, we have no business here and there is no logical answer to our existence.
Imagine a group of people who are all blind, deaf and slightly demented and suddenly someone in the crowd asks, "What are we to do?"... The only possible answer is, "Look for a cure". Until you are cured, there is nothing you can do.
And since you don't believe you are sick, there can be no cure.
- Vladimir Solovyov

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#1124 Chyros

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Posted 08 May 2011 - 22:00

View PostSquigPie, on 8 May 2011, 21:45, said:

Quote

It turns out there's a lot more to the story. First of all, the hot coffee wasn't just uncomfortable and embarrassing, it gave her third degree burns over six percent of her body, which required fucking skin grafts. You can see the burns yourself if you're not squeamish.

Secondly, coffee served at that temperature (180 to 190 degrees Fahrenheit) will give a person third-degree burns in two to seven seconds, while home-coffee brewers normally serve coffee at much lower temperatures (130 two 140 degrees) which won't immediately burn you. Yes, Starbucks and other joints do serve coffee at the hotter temperatures -- because some customers prefer it -- but then again, they get sued for it also. Thirdly, she attempted to settle for $20,000 at one point, and McDonald's refused, which is when she started getting cranky.

You may have heard that she got millions of dollars, when the final award was $640,000. Then from that you take out the medical bills (hint: skin grafts aren't cheap).

But she has to take some responsibility, right? She may not have been driving, but she was trying to open the lid in her lap so she could add cream and sugar. That's kind of careless, isn't it? Why couldn't the jury see that?

Well, they did. That's why the compensatory damages portion ($200,000) was reduced by 20 percent, because they ruled it was 20 percent her fault.

Link
Cracked might not be the most trustworthy source, but I'm pretty sure they're right this time.

Anyway, back on topic.
Dude, she threw coffee all over herself. What does McDonalds have to do with it?! :xD: And the fact she had to pay the medical bills herself... well, health care is a delicate thing in the US of course. Besides, I'd take the opinion of a senior professor in Law, who I got it from, over Cracked any day.
TN



The brave hide behind technology. The stupid hide from it. The clever have technology, and hide it.
—The Book of Cataclysm


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#1125 Alias

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Posted 10 May 2011 - 16:59

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Several thousand bees that were part a multi-million pound neuroscience research project have been stolen from a British university.

Police in the Scottish region of Tayside were appealing for information on Tuesday after four beehives containing several thousand British black bees were stolen from a medical school in the city of Dundee.

"This theft will undoubtedly hamper our research," said Dr Chris Connolly, the lead researcher on the Dundee project, who reported the bees missing on Sunday.

In a statement he described the bees as "very unique" and said they should be easy to identify if they are sold on.

The hives are a part of a 2 million pound ($3 million) project at the Centre for Neurosciences at the Dundee University's medical school which is investigating the potential effect of pesticides on bee learning and health.

Police said there were keen to trace a white van and two men that were seen in the area on the morning of May 8.

Dr Connolly said he thought the bees may have been stolen for breeding, or for selling on to specialist beekeepers.

"Clearly whoever did this knows what they were doing and how to handle bees," he said.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2011/05...?section=justin

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