13 replies to this topic

[Prophet of the Pimps]

MILITARY WISDOM


"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.
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"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket Launcher

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"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine Corps
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"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - USAF Ammo Troop
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"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal
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"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual
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"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General Macarthur
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"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal
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"You, you, and you...panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.
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"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance
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"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal
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"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything." - U.S. Navy Swabbie
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"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth
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"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal
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"No combat-ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay
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"Any ship can be a minesweeper .. Once."
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"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit
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"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies
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"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop
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"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing." - At the entrance to the old SR-71 operating base Kadena, Japan
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"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)
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"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."
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"Blue water Navy truism: There are more planes in the ocean than submarines in the sky." - From an old carrier sailor
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"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."
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"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."
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"Without ammunition, the USAF would be just another expensive flying club."
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"What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, the pilot dies."
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"Never trade luck for skill."
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The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in aviation are: "Why is it doing that?", "Where are we?" And "Oh S...!"
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"Weather forecasts are horoscopes with numbers."
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"Progress in airline flying: now a flight attendant can get a pilot pregnant."
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"Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight."
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"A smooth landing is mostly luck; two in a row is all luck; three in a row is prevarication."
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"I remember when sex was safe and flying was dangerous."
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"Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there!"
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"Flashlights are tubular metal containers kept in a flight bag for the purpose of storing dead batteries."
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"Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it."
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"The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world; it can just barely kill you." - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot)
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"A pilot who doesn't have any fear probably isn't flying his plane to its maximum." - Jon McBride, astronaut
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"If you're faced with a forced landing, fly the thing as far into the crash as possible." - Bob Hoover (renowned aerobatic and test pilot)
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"Never fly in the same cockpit with someone braver than you."
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"There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime." – Sign over squadron ops desk at Davis-Monthan AFB, AZ, 1970
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"If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to."
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Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."
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"You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal."
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As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)

[CodeCat]

Quote

You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.

Great one!

[Cryptkeeper]

prophet of the pimps, on 8 Feb 2006, 13:26, said:

MILITARY WISDOM

As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives, the rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks "What happened?" The pilot's reply: "I don't know, I just got here myself!" - Attributed to Ray Crandell (Lockheed test pilot)
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

lol

[ultra1437]

"Nuclear bombs are not to be messed around with like a jackass and accidentally make your platoon suddenly go bye-bye" - Me
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Quote

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine Corps

That is great (and true) oh and grenade fuses usually last 3-4 seconds...
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"B2 bombers are virtually invisible untill it hits the ground then you know it's here in a flaming wreck or has bombed the @#$% outta you." - Discovery Channel
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"F117 stealth bombers are almost always the last to come out of a dogfight on the ground in a million little pieces." - Also Discovery Channel
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"Many planes now hold fuel enough for intercontinental raids and therefore are bombs moving at Mach 3+ waiting for the chance to take a pilot or two to a flaming doom" - Me
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"A motivated team of snipers can turn an army of 20,000 into a few hundred wounded fleeing soldiers" - Star Wars Battlefront 2 Strategy Guide book
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"ICBM's are not to be messed with- and that doesn't take rocket science to figure out when 30 square miles of the US is now a crater"- My Common Sense
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"Rocket Science is always more fun with actual rockets" - Label printed above Fire button on a F/A 22 Raptor
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"Warning- Never use near allies" - Label printed on side of Flamethrower
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"You, You, You, and You follow me; the rest of you get the @#$% outta here!" - US Commanding Officer
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"B1 bombers are fast and inaccurate so make sure you aim where your allies aren't" - Warning label on side of B1
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"Many people died trying to protect their country, that is why Bush is president" - My Friend
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"Warning may cause death or severe paralysis" - label on the side of Nerve gas bomb
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"You are invisible on radar not invincible to the ground, sea, building, or the occasional mountain range" - Warning label on F117 Stealth Fighter
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"This is not a game where you have automatic Point Defence Lasers to protect you from missiles" - Warning label on B2 bomber steering wheel
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this took me 35 minutes to type and my hands hurt from all the mistakes and deletions i made.... SO LIKE IT OR ELSE :camper:

Edited by ultra1437, 08 February 2006 - 23:41.

[retry_1]

"say cheese"*then takes picture of russian polit with polorid while in flight in difftrent planes*-goose(from the movie top gun)

[CodeCat]

It sucks.

[retry_1]

sry all you bush lovers

assistant: dont press the big red button
george w bush: you mean THIS*presses button* big red button?

Edited by retry_1, 09 February 2006 - 00:07.

[ultra1437]

Got some quotes from guess where: Military-quotes.com
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"Artillerymen believe the world consist of two types of people; other Artillerymen and targets."
- Unknown
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"There is NO job in the Field Artillery for the weak, the timid or the indecisive."
- Unknown
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"Artillery adds dignity, to what would otherwise be an ugly brawl"
- Unknown
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"Gunners will always fight together, drink together, laugh together, and morn together."
- Unknown
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Here is a joke:
In The US Tank school, the following are definitions, as appropriate, by the different organizations that support the tank:

In the tank gunnery school, you are taught that if your tank could move, and communicate but could not shoot, what you had was a worthless tank.

In the tank propulsion school, you are taught if your tank could shoot, and communicate, but could not move, what you had was a worthless tank.

in the tank communication school, you are taught that if your tank can move, and communicate, but can not shoot, what you have essentially is a 52 ton portable radio.

happy tracking tankers!

Edited by ultra1437, 09 February 2006 - 00:26.

[Cloaked25]

"Any landing is a good landing."

Edited by Cloaked25, 10 February 2006 - 00:17.

[chance]

@prophet, you go A and B the C of D (above and beyond the call of duity)

[AllStarZ]

"If someone gives you an M-16, drop it and go pick up something else".

That's what one of my uncle's friends said. He served in 'Nam.

[Prophet of the Pimps]

yhea the m-16's early version had a very bad reputation. it jammed a lot under the humid condition of nam.

[SW_AF_GEN_RAWKS]

Dont Fight In a War. - me and frohman

[AllStarZ]

prophet of the pimps, on 12 Jun 2006, 08:10, said:

yhea the m-16's early version had a very bad reputation. it jammed a lot under the humid condition of nam.
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's a bit better now, but it still jams too much for comfort. Sand jams the mechanism as effectively as mud and dirt.

Anyhoo....

Quote

He shoots everything into clumps.

In only one day, Leutnant M. and his tiger shot

38 T 34's

and was awarded the Knights Cross.

Tigerfibel

Edited by AllStarZ, 19 June 2006 - 01:09.