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[Jok3r]

Death of the Young (Innocence, Casualty #1)

Turn on the TV, don't look out the window,
The tire swing disused, the children abused.
Watch the war, unfold outside our windows-
The silent revolution,

We never know, I never know,
when will never happen.

Spoken in colloquialisms, voice of one-
Voice of many. Surging crowd, angry voice.

Riot torn street, revolution real and loud, close and

Distant.

Green, like the money that starts it all,
Red, the blood of so many patriots and tyrants, spilled into
White sand, once a metaphor for tropical paradise-

Now an unforgiving hell.

So distant, so close, in a networked world.
Fired up, tempered down, ready to rock.

Locked and loaded, looking for our own truths-
whatever will satisfy what we've been told to hear,
What we want to hear.
Because we want to hear it, right?

Guns loaded, safeties a joke from some past generation-
Teen angst and firearms, mixing with an overmedicated revolution-

The front line is the homefront, the homefront merely a metaphor.

So.

Sit inside, watch the TV.
Tire swing unused, children abused.
The war is playing in the background, the child preparing for his own.
Were am I?

Somewere, left behind with my innocence in an age,
of post-humanity,

Were the young are the dead, and innocence a forgone memory of a generation remembered,
only in their angry lyrics and brash anger, the same as our own-
yet unreachable.

[Sgt. Nuker]

So very lyrical and riddled with imagery and reference to the non-literal. It is phrases like those listed that evoke strong emotion and raw feeling. I believe this to be your best piece yet mate. Even the title pitches in to convey a message, which is the sign of an excellent prose.

[Jok3r]

In a dusty
Dried out world

We live happily
In our oasis

So insignificant
We are

Yet
To us

Nothing
Is greater.

So
We flow

Like the water
From our springs

We make war
We make love

And somehow
The world keeps turning

With or without us
It will

Yet
Without us

It would be
So different

Yet so much the same

So
We go

With the flow
Of our lives

Ehhh. Strange meter and questionable flow. I'm not really sure about this one. Any advice on revisions?