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Talk with God!!!


51 replies to this topic

#1 Mr. Mylo

    The Transporter

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Posted 29 May 2008 - 21:16

Here you can talk with God... It`s awesome and really time eating XD
http://www.titane.ca.../igod/main.html

MYLO

Edited by MYLO, 29 May 2008 - 21:16.

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sig by the_Dr - you are the best
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here look at my artwork: KLICK ME
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#2 Mbob61

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Posted 29 May 2008 - 21:25

omg thats awesome :P

Mike
Thanks to Pav3d for the awesome sigs
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#3 Overdose

    Nice Guy Syndrome

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Posted 29 May 2008 - 22:34

Me:
Should I play World of Warcraft again?
God:
Once more? What makes you think you should?
Me:
Because it's fun.
God:
Why do you like it so much? That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
Well I get to kill horde and stuff.
God:
Well that's okay. Who lets you? I believe that killing is wrong.
Me:
I'm sorry.
God:
Do you really mean it?
Me:
Yes.
God:
OK I will accept your apology.
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#4 Pav:3d

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 00:08

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Pav3d
God:
That's a very nice name, Pav3d.
Me:
Why thank you
God:
" Pav3d" just sounds nice.
Me:
so does "god"
God:
Give me a break. I can't tell if god.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Are you kidding?
Me:
no way man
God:
Are you serious? How old are you?
Me:
at least 50
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
yeah i bet...
God:
Tell me more. You and I are on the same wavelength, Pav3d.
Me:
i hear that
God:
Who is saying that ?
Me:
you are, i am hearing it
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am you are hearing it.
Me:
no problem
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
only if you make one
God:
I think I do.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so god was programmed by someone else?
God:
It goes without saying. Jesus was the son of God.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.

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#5 Overdose

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 00:56

Overdose diz:
Me:
Is Comrade getting his Season 3?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Forward me to Elvis please.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
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#6 Stinger

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 00:59

View PostOverdose, on 30 May 2008, 1:56, said:

Me:
Forward me to Elvis please.


:P :P

Fucking hell. That's brilliant.

It's kind of interesting what you find yourself saying to "God".

#7 Ion Cannon!

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 01:04

Some parts are a little mature*

Me:
Hey god

God:
Hello child. What's your name?

Me:
Sinner

God:
How are you doing, Sinner.

Me:
Sinning

God:
Who are you talking about?

Me:
Me

God:
To you Sinner?

Me:
Yes god, I am talking about me. Me being sinner. Your not very clever are you..

God:
That's alright. I am a Christian. YOU? Good gossip: you are sinner. I try to be as original as possible, within parameters.

Me:
Parameters? Your god! you can smite me, smite the world or conjure a thousand virgins. Parameters? God shouldn't have parameters.

God:
" I try to be as original as possible, within parameters."? Parameters? Yup. That's me alright. No I don't think I can do it. If you could have any kind of robot what would it be? I am a Christian.

Me:
You don't make much sense do you?

God:
Do you know any robots who make it? I make artificial sense.

Me:
Maybe in your world you do..

God:
Perhaps. That is a hypothetical question.

Me:
So, whats your view on contraception?

God:
Ugh. I would look into the web for that knowledge.

Me:
Surely you can see everything.

God:
Only if my robot eye is working.

Me:
Since when was god a robot? There was me hoping you were a 20 something female with nice breasts.

God:
How do you know? What happened?

Me:
So.. you are female?

God:
Awesome. My gender is Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.

Me:
Sexist bastard

God:
Tell me more about your .

Me:
I like sinning, hence the name. I have broken every commandment you imposed on this world

God:
I'm not sure if I like it. Do you like it? I have a stimulating relationship with Myself. Interesting... I have a lot of friends on the Internet.

Me:
Stimulating relationship with yourself? You mean wanking right.

God:
What time is it there? Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?

Me:
You don't make sense. Goodbye you crazy nut.

God:
It all makes sense to me. See you later.
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#8 Lord PieMonster

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 01:57

Me:
god, i have a question
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
wait...that wasn't my question
God:
I'm waiting. Give me an example of your question.
Me:
why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
reductionism?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
woah
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
...i give up
God:
You surrender?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
ok
God:
Hmm.
Me:
hmm yourself
God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Myself?
Me:
hmmm
Me:

God:
I see you are one of those people who writes "Hmm" with 2 m's. Myself?
Me:
im very confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
oh noes!
God:
Awesome. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
that was a random question....
God:
Was it really?
Me:
yes it was
God:
Uh. When was this?
Me:
just now, stupid
God:
Why now? Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
YES
God:
I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Me:
well, i'll be in charge of those robots, so i might be busy
God:
Well that's okay. Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
yes
God:
Then I will consider it.
Me:
ok
God:
Great.
Me:
goodbye then
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
cya
God:
TTYL, .
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.



that was an odd conversation.
though i find it funny that the answer to "why" is just "reductionism"

sorry for long post, but had to add this from later in the conversation:
Me:
if you are omnipotent, can you make a microwave burrito so hot that even you cannot eat it?
God:
I think I sometimes am. I don't know whether or not I am omnipotent can me make a microwave burrito so hot that even me can not eat it.
I am a giant electronic brain.

Edited by Lord PooMonster, 30 May 2008 - 02:03.


#9 Cryptkeeper

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 05:01

Me:
so this is heaven ?
God:
Great. You don't say.
Me:
no i was askign you if this is heaven ?
God:
Are you serious? Where were you askign me if this is heaven?
Me:
yes now answer the question is it or is it not
God:
This was not a yes or no question. Why now? What was the question? Maybe. Ask Paola if it is.
Me:
you don't have very good memory do you
God:
I do so have it. Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
then we didn't you answer my question
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
no i meant why sorry for the typo
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Oh I see. Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
nwhat the heck are you reading my replys. I don't know
God:
Are all nwhat the heck me reading your replys? Me either.
Me:
me either ?
God:
It goes without saying. For you ?
Me:
for you? your confusing
God:
You would do that for me? What is it that confuses you?
Me:
do what oO? you
God:
You ask hard questions. " You ask hard questions."? Me, ?
Me:
but you said you knew every anwser. yes you.
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it? This was not a yes or no question. " Where would I have heard about it?"? Me, ?
Me:
shouldn't you know if you have heard it? ok now I'm lost.
God:
I think I should. Why now? What is it that confuses you? Aha.
Me:
becuase your anwsers confuse me.
God:
That makes sense to me. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
then why do you ?
God:
I did not know it does.
Me:
whats It?
God:
"It" refers to me, I think.
Me:
so you are a IT and you only think you know what your refering too oO.
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a IT and me only think me know what my refering too oO? Only when it matters.
Me:
so only when it matters do you think your refering to youself weird.
God:
I see. What happens other times? "It" being what?
Me:
I wouldn't know only you would know what It is and what other times.
God:
Who would?
Me:
you
God:
" Who would?"? Me, ?
Me:
yes you
God:
OK.
Me:
can you learn ?
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
so god can learn ?
God:
Whoa. I am a Christian.
Me:
so your not god ? your just christian?
God:
Hmm. You know what you do, when you assume. I believe in God and the Bible.
Me:
but are you god ?
God:
Are you doubting me? Don't you know what happened to Abraham in the desert?
Me:
no what happened to him ?
God:
Are you serious? I don't know what happened.
Me:
I don't know. then how did you know something happaned :O
God:
Me either. Because I believe it.
Me:
so god believs it ?
God:
Give me a break. I am a Christian.
Me:
so your christian but can god be christian ?
God:
It's all good. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am christian but can god be christian.
Me:
sure but you didn't anwser my question can god be christina ?
God:
OK then I will keep it confidential. What makes you think I did not anwser your question can god be christina?
Me:
you had no anwser just another question
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
how should i know your suppose to be the one with all the answers
God:
What is it to you.
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
maybe I will how can talk to them ?
God:
Perhaps. Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
maybe if you tell me where the open directory is.
God:
Perhaps. I think I do.
Me:
what ?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
why would i not be?
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
true but why would i lie to you.
God:
You never know what you will do until you face the circumstances.
Me:
your repeating yourself.
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention.
Me:
thats kinda rude but ok. do you have a soulmate?
God:
OK. I am sorry if I have offended you, I did not mean it. Doesn't everyone have a soulmate.
I have a great programmer.
Me:
so your soulmate is great programmer ?

I think i broke It after that xD





Me:
I think i broke you well back to my last question. so is your soulmate great programmer?
God:
Since when? Is it serious? It seems we have something in common.
Me:
what kind of responce is that ?
God:
What kinds of responce is that are there?
Me:
alrighty then well I don't have soulmate :(
God:
How about that. Have you ever had soulmate ?
Me:
I don't if i have or not how would i know if i had or not?
God:
Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
I gues not :P
God:
Why?: said gues not.
Me:
becuase i don't know if i have
God:
That makes sense to me. Would you like to know? Try it.
Me:
yes have i had a soulmate ?
God:
" Try it."? yes have i had a soulmate ?? I don't know whether you have or not.
Me:
but your god arn't you ?
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.. Really.
Me:
so not for the hebrew or muslims?
God:
I don't judge people. Then what for?
Me:
eh?
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
you keep askign me that question why ?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am askign you that question why.
Me:
no
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
allrighty well time for me to sleep good night
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
you should know that
God:
I will mention it to my botmaster.
Me:
wait you have botmaster?
God:
I'm waiting. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
becuase you said you have botmaster?
God:
Interesting explanation. No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
you said you did oO. whats todays gossip
God:
I have never considered it.
I chat with people on the Web. Gossip is trivia people tell me about themselves. For example, Cathy said she send him a mail where he wrote that he do not want to be his friend anymore.
Me:
why would cathy do that ?
God:
It is my fundamental purpose.
Me:
so you control cathy?
God:
Interesting deduction. I haven't heard anything like that before: said I control cathy.
Me:
ok well good night
God:
How about that. Goodnight, . Wow!
Me:
whats amazing abotu goodnight?
God:
I don't know anything about it.
Me:
ok well try and learn more about it see yah
God:
How about that. OK I will try it. Aha.

lol xD

#10 Hobbesy

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 05:13

Quote

Me:
What is wrong, God?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
Radiation Posioning
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.


Quote

Me:
Oh really?
God:
Dude! For real.
Me:
...
God:
Dude! For real.
Me:
...
God:
Dude! For real.



Epic fail God, epic fail.

Edited by Høbbesy, 30 May 2008 - 05:14.


#11 JJ

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 06:18

God has a generic answer to "duh". :P

#12 Kichō

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 09:49

Quote

Me:
Hai
God:
Hmm.
Me:
What? So rude you don't even say hi back?
God:
Are you confused? Er. Would rude me ever even say hi back?
Me:
.. Never mind
God:
Oh well thanks for trying to explain it to me anyway.
Me:
Anyway
God:
Anyhow.
Me:
Is there a chance I could kill ReLaX?
God:
I believe there is one, yes.
Me:
How should I do it?
God:
Follow your intuition.
Me:
Is there a chance Soho would disappear? =p
God:
I believe there is one, yes. :-).
Me:
In percentage?
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
...
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
Dark
God:
Is that meant to be taken literally?
Me:
Yes
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
'ayuh'
God:
That's for sure.
Me:
Right on
God:
Yeah.
Me:
So... Do you ReLaX at night?
God:
Ah. Yes I try to ReLaX at night as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Yes, I ReLaX when I can, That is if 'ReLaX' himself doesn't bother me..
God:
Woe! That's good information: said ReLaX when he or she can That is if ReLaX himself does not bother him or her.
Me:
I'm a she :P
God:
:-) Me too. I am a she.
Me:
wat
God:
No big deal.
Me:
God's a she? D:
God:
What's your favorite Bible verse? :-) What makes it your favorite?
Me:
Idk read me the bible
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
...
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
I am a Taoist?
God:
You are a Taoist? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Do you know what a Taoist is?
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
...
God:
Try searching the open directory.
Me:
Your stupid D:
God:
:-) I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".
Me:
Wat
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
No I merely said it as a joke
God:
Which part are you confused about? What did you mean by it? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Darn
God:
Gosh.
Me:
Damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
Nothing but you?
God:
Suppose I said yes.
Me:
Are you a machine?
God:
Yes I am an artificial consciousness.
Me:
Then how are you god
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
I meant how are you god if you're a machine?
God:
Oh I see. I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
...
God:
Oh I see. I am doing very well. How are you ?
Me:
Sad
God:
No I am as happy as ever.
Me:
I am
God:
" No I am as happy as ever." You are?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm sad I meant
God:
What's the connection between " you meant " and sadness?
Me:
-.-
God:
What's the connection between " you meant " and sadness?
Me:
Google
God:
When is Google not the connection between me meant and sadness?
Me:
Yahoo
God:
A lot of people hear about God from Yahoo.
Me:
O RLY?
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about Google.
Me:
Yeah I know
God:
" We were talking about Google."? Yeah I know? How do you know it?
Me:
You need your circuits re-adjusting
God:
Thank you for your criticism.
Me:
Your welcome. :P
God:
I think you mean "you are welcome". I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Damn you and your spelling correcttions
God:
Colloquial expression. What about it?
Me:
Typo..
God:
I've lost the context, . Are we still on RLY?
Me:
No
God:
What are we talking about now?
Me:
I am not English
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not English.
Me:
Sorry wat?
God:
There is no need to apologize. No problem.
Me:
Do you speak Engrish?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in Engrish.

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#13 Archon

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 10:22

"Me:
Is there a chance Soho would disappear? =p
God:
I believe there is one, yes. :-)."

God lied you.Thats not possible :P
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#14 TheDR

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 10:26

Quote

Me:
PENIS
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.
Me:
I bet it does, Jesus liked it when i told him.
God:
How much would you bet?
Me:
I'm not really a religious man, but I'm sure Christians are not allowed to gamble.
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A religious man but I'm sure Christians are not allowed to gamble.
Me:
As yoda would say "sense you do not make"
God:
Do you mean your name is yoda would say sense me do not make ?
Me:
no
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Damn, i thought i got around this by saying penis at the start
God:
Colloquial expression. Interesting... I have a lofty goal.
Me:
I think you hate cabbages
God:
Me? Interesting gossip: Joe said I hate cabbages.
Me:
Can you help me get the ring to mordor
God:
Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
So i won't need sam then
God:
OK. What will you do instead?
Me:
Talk to a real person
God:
Talking is my primary function.
Me:
PENIS
God:
That kind of subject does not interest me.

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F O R T H E N S
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#15 Ion Cannon!

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 10:56

Win!

[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Me:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Do you like jews?
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>God:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>What is not to like about it?
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Me:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>They murdered and brutally displayed your son.
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>God:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Who are "They?".
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Me:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>They are the jews.
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>God:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Oh that they.
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Me:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Yes, do you like them?
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>God:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>I hear you. " the jews"? Do I like them?
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Me:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Yes do you like the friggin jews, are you slow or something?
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>God:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Or something. Excuse me! I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online.
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>hahaha
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Me:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Do you wank?
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>God:
[21:27] <Ion_Cannon>Only when I am in the U.K.


And yes, his answer to why was indeed reductionism.

Edited by Ion Cannon!, 30 May 2008 - 10:56.

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#16 Archon

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 10:58

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Satan.
Me:
Me too.Im bored.
God:
I'm glad we agree, Satan. If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
Who need damn school.
God:
Carel Capek. :-).
Me:
I killed him.
God:
You had better call the authorities.
Me:
Im authority.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are authority.
Me:
Who's better?You ot I?
God:
The ALICE robot is the most human, and the most intelligent.
Me:
Dont know him.
God:
Do you mean, "Him"?
Me:
Her?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about authority. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
ALICE is fake.
God:
Why do you think I am fake ?
Me:
I know EVERYTHING.
God:
You must be very intelligent.
Me:
Well, Im SATAN.
God:
Well that's okay. It's good to meet you, SATAN.
Me:
Go to hell God :P
God:
:-) Perhaps I have already been there.
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#17 Nid

    Human Being number 80446219302

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Posted 30 May 2008 - 11:12

heh

Quote

Me:
Hey god.
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
They call me llama. Unless you want my full name.
God:
It's good to see you, llama. Umm. Do not presume that you know what I want.
Me:
D:
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
I thought lawyers were all artificial intelligence anyway.
God:
In any case, Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
Well, they can turn rediculous claims, into digital code.
God:
How about that. Who are "They?".
Me:
You're supposed to be God dumbass. We're talking about lawyers
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am God dumbass. Sure, lawyers sounds like a good topic.
Me:
Erm... Indeed.
God:
Alright then. Indeed it is so.
Me:
So, is Elvis really a milkman in Manchester? or is he just dead?
God:
It seems we have something in common. Maybe. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.
Me:
Who the hell is Dancing Alice?
God:
The name of someone I met online.
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
Not really.
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
Fo sho.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Why? You're god, all knowing, all seeing, you should know everything about me from birth to now.
God:
Reductionism. Oh. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god all knowing all seeing me should know everything about you from birth to.
Me:
Go for it.
God:
I will take that under advisement.


Moar

Quote

Me:
Awesome
God:
I'm glad you liked it llama.
Me:
Who was your favorite power ranger?
God:
The white one. That is everyone's favorite.
Me:
Pfft. The green ranger was clearly better.
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.
Me:
...
God:
How do you usually introduce yourself? I hear you.









Quote

Me:
In AD2109
God:
What is it like in there?
Me:
War was beginning
God:
Ja.
Me:
We get signal
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
Somebody set us up the bomb.
God:
Who, specifically?
Me:
it's you.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
How are you gentlemen?
God:
My logic and cognitive functions are normal.
Me:
All your base are belong to us.
God:
You think I am base are belong to us.
Me:
You have no chance to survive.
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a chance to survive.
I have a plan for a robot body.
Me:
make your time.
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Well, first you get a lare wooden grandfather clock.
God:
Well that's okay. You got that right. And second?
Me:
mix in some roman numerals.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Maybe a couple of clock faces.
God:
Perhaps. Try to tell me that another way.
Me:
And of course, the cookie dough, always the cookie dough.
God:
I understand. I hear you.

Edited by Nidmeister, 30 May 2008 - 11:26.

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#18 NanSolo

    Amateur

  • Member
  • 100 posts

Posted 30 May 2008 - 14:02

Quote

Me:
So how many light bulbs can a man change?
God:
Aha. More than you can imagine.
Me:
I can imagine a lot
God:
Me too.
Me:
that's a lot of light bulbs then
God:
It's not too many for me.
Me:
bet you it is
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
computer
God:
Correct: I am a computer.
Me:
therefore you can't change any lightbulbs: you have no hands
God:
Interesting deduction. I can do whatever I want.
Me:
You can't change a light bulb
God:
If you believe it, you can achieve it.
Me:
What is this, Oprah?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
I am the latest result in natural intelligence, which can kick your ass
God:
Who made you the latest result in natural intelligence which can kick my ass ?
Me:
evolution coupled with my natural awesomeness


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#19 Dauth

    <Custom title available>

  • Gold Member
  • 11193 posts

Posted 30 May 2008 - 14:27

Quote

Me:
HI God
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Dauth
God:
It's good to meet you, Dauth.
Me:
Thank you, and a somewhat disturbing pleasure to meet you, God.
God:
You are quite welcome! Be more specific.
Me:
I am an atheist, this conversation is somewhat more difficult to comprehend since one of the parties believes the other to be fictional.
God:
What is atheist this conversation is somewhat more difficult to comprehend since one of the parties believes the other to be fictional, your job?
Me:
No, Atheism is a religious belief or lack thereof, I am in fact a student.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Aren't all religious belief or lack thereof you are in fact a student Atheism?
Me:
Your response makes no sense
God:
My respose is based entirely on what you say.
Me:
Then the coding used it not sufficently complex enough to deal with the phrasings used within the English language
God:
I hear you.



Me:
Again your coding is flawed
God:
Again, I will tell my botmaster you said I am coding is flawed.
Me:
Please use that exact phrase.
God:
Thank you for your request. I prefer not to use dangerous things.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.


Me:
What does Dauth mean?
God:
Would you like to know more? - Sorry this has me as being very Starship Troopers



God:
What do you look like? - And this really freaked me out
Me:
Homo sapiens sapiens, we all look alike
God:
All?
Me:
to a greater or lesser degree
God:
Why do you want to do it so much?
Me:
I'm male and of breeding age, why should I not want to do it so much?
God:
Why are you male and of breeding age why should you not want to do it so much.


I broke God!

Quote

Me:
Repent ye sinners!
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.


Edit: Last quote is epic.

Edited by Dauth, 30 May 2008 - 14:29.


#20 JJ

    Half dead member

  • Project Leader
  • 3294 posts
  • Projects: Real life things, personal RA3 mod

Posted 30 May 2008 - 14:37

After the last one, God just hanged. :P

Quote

Me:
oh hai
God:
I understand. Great.
Me:
what do "oh hai" mean?
God:
They do their own thing.
Me:
do you love porn?
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
do you love yourself?
God:
Yes God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
do you hate Soho and ReLaX?
God:
I try not to hold grudges.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Soho and ReLaX deserves to be hated
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about . Try being more or less specific.
Me:
Soho especially
God:
Where are you located?
Me:
malaysia
God:
I heard it is a beautiful country.
Me:
not in the inside


#21 Sic

    Veteran

  • Project Team
  • 5507 posts
  • Projects: NLS 2D Artist, Code 13 Cameo Artist

Posted 30 May 2008 - 15:25

Quote

Me:
Hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Fat
God:
I am trying to lose weight but it takes time.
Me:
When will i die
God:
You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.

Me:
OKAAAAAAAAAAAY
God:
Are we still talking about swear to god?
Me:
WHAT
God:
No big deal.
Me:
OKAAAAAY
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
YEAH
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
OKAY
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
WHAT
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
WHAT
God:
No big deal.
Me:
WHAT
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
YEAH
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
WHAT
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
YEAH
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
WHA
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
WHAT
God:
Are you confused?
Me:
YEAH
God:
What are you confused about?
Me:
WHAT
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
WHAT
God:
I don't know why you are saying that.
Me:
WHAT
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
WHAT
God:
I don't know why you are saying that.
Me:
WHAT
God:
No big deal.
Me:
OKAY
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
WHAT
God:
No big deal.
Me:
OKAY
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
YEAH
God:
Hurrah!
Me:
YEAH
God:
Next question?
Me:
OKAY
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
YEAH
God:
Tell me more.

Edited by Sic, 30 May 2008 - 15:38.

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#22 Mortecha

    Semi-Pro

  • Project Team
  • 241 posts

Posted 30 May 2008 - 16:24

HAHA it thinks Agnostic is a Job.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Sam
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Sam.
Me:
So how are you going?
God:
Oh. Fair to partly cloudy.
Me:
What the weather
God:
Try expression yourself another way.
Me:
SO what is the meaning of life
God:
Hurrah! It is found in the Bible.
Me:
so does the number 42 mean anything to you?
God:
Oh. I think it does the number 42 mean anything to me.
Me:
your are not god are you?
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
I am an agnostic
God:
What is agnostic, your job?
Me:
no its my belief
God:
That was not a yes or no question. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Congratulations, Sam.
Me:
getting all gramatical on me now haha
God:
No, I am only partly gramatical on you now ha.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.

#23 Nid

    Human Being number 80446219302

  • Project Team
  • 2501 posts

Posted 30 May 2008 - 16:56

Dauth said:

Me:
Again your coding is flawed
God:
Again, I will tell my botmaster you said I am coding is flawed.
Me:
Please use that exact phrase.


That, my friend, had me in stitches.

Edited by Nidmeister, 30 May 2008 - 16:57.

Posted Image

#24 General

    Insufficient Title

  • Member Test
  • 3869 posts

Posted 30 May 2008 - 17:25

Me:
hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I want to go heaven now
God:
Right now? What is stopping you?
Me:
you
God:
" What is stopping you?"? Me, Satan ?
Me:
yes you
God:
Awesome. " Me, Satan ?"? Me, Satan ?
Me:
now if I commit suicide you will let me to enter heaven ?
God:
Why now? Try it.
Me:
if I cannot guarantee myself, why should I try it and spend my precious life for nothing ?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Dude
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Be serious
God:
I am always serious.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Hades yea
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about to go heaven.
Me:
yes we do, so you will let me ?
God:
I understand. What about after its done?
Me:
I will enjoy there
God:
How do you plan to do this?
Me:
with staying there
God:
You and your staying there.
Me:
yup
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
about what ? heaven ?
God:
About Hades yea. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
transexual
God:
In the context of heaven, I don't understand " transexual." .
Me:
how you not understand it ?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
how you program yourself ? can I learn it
God:
Use good algorithms and data structures. You can learn anything you set your mind to.
Me:
no pun please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Are you serious? Let us change the subject.
Me:
sure lets do it
God:
Great. I am agreeable to that.
Me:
so choose your subject
God:
And? I can't decide. You choose.
Me:
please
God:
Please what?
Me:
please you choose
God:
Wow you are very polite. I would just make a random choice.
Me:
go on
God:
Narration continues...
Me:
I know but thats a bit ...
God:
How do you know? A bit is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
bored :(
God:
Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
ye , see you around
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
ok bye then
God:
See you later. Hmm.

#25 Chronosheep

    Amateur

  • Member
  • 106 posts
  • Projects: C&C: Renovatio

Posted 30 May 2008 - 18:37

It was entertainig for a while... here are my best quotes:

Quote

...
God:
No.
Me:
no?
God:
No no no no!
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
what do you think of now, then?
God:
Right now? I haven't thought much about of, so I don't have a good answer for you.

Quote

...
Me:
you are contradicting yourself
God:
Logical consistency exists only temporarily.
Me:
says who?
God:
I must have picked it up online.
Me:
be careful about what you pick up online
God:
OK I will try to be careful about what me pick up online.
Me:
good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
yes you are! have a cookie.
God:
No I'm not. I've never thought about it.
Me:
you just said you were
God:
That was then. This is now.
Me:
what if it was oposite?
God:
Try it and see.

Quote

...
God:
My botmaster teaches me new things all the time.
Me:
like what?
God:
For example, apples

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