29 replies to this topic

[NOPE]

Lil arranged these somewhat chronologically. They're just some of her most recent poems.


[edit: cut some poems from my posts]

Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:35.

[Sgt. Nuker]

A recurring theme in your poetry is quite evident, at least to me it is. To the first, the last 3 lines turn the poem on its head. Striking they are, and they cause the read to pause and think (some will pause a bit longer than others). They are lines that keep me coming back to the poem, only to jump to the last 3 and read them over and over. A shotgun is a tool, a weapon, a saviour...depending on who you ask and when. The question posed is somewhat internal, as the person being asked is not in the room, but the question itself is asked aloud.

To say that these poems 3 are "deep" or "emotional" would be a crime against them, for not a single word can accurately describe what they are, nor can words grasp at the thought and emotions put into writing them or the thoughts and emotions evoked upon reading them. Lil, you have a gift for writing and I hope that you keep at it. Spill your thoughts onto the computer screen as you have and I will read them as I have done here. I look forward to reading more of your works.

[NOPE]

Warboss Nooka, on 15 Jun 2009, 22:46, said:

A recurring theme in your poetry is quite evident, at least to me it is. To the first, the last 3 lines turn the poem on its head. Striking they are, and they cause the read to pause and think (some will pause a bit longer than others). They are lines that keep me coming back to the poem, only to jump to the last 3 and read them over and over. A shotgun is a tool, a weapon, a saviour...depending on who you ask and when. The question posed is somewhat internal, as the person being asked is not in the room, but the question itself is asked aloud.

To say that these poems 3 are "deep" or "emotional" would be a crime against them, for not a single word can accurately describe what they are, nor can words grasp at the thought and emotions put into writing them or the thoughts and emotions evoked upon reading them. Lil, you have a gift for writing and I hope that you keep at it. Spill your thoughts onto the computer screen as you have and I will read them as I have done here. I look forward to reading more of your works.

Thank you so very much for your comment. <3 Lil is honored that one would take the time to read her poems - READ, rather than skim them - and leave such a comment that you did.
Frankly, Lil finds these to be her best works - particularly because they are her most recent, as her skill develops with time and practice - but if one would want to read her other poems, they could be found at her livejournal, which is at http://letheanlilith.livejournal.com/

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:35.

[Sgt. Nuker]

A poem that grasps and pines for perhaps what's going through the mind of a firefly as it is trapped in a jar. Or it could be used as an argument against catching fireflies. Either way, a simple act depicted clearly among the lines of your poem.

[WNxMastrefubu]

deep poem, never was one for catching fireflies, and will make sure not to now

[NOPE]

Warboss Nooka, on 7 Jul 2009, 17:34, said:

A poem that grasps and pines for perhaps what's going through the mind of a firefly as it is trapped in a jar. Or it could be used as an argument against catching fireflies. Either way, a simple act depicted clearly among the lines of your poem.

It actually isn't about fireflies at all.
It's about wasted potential. Everyone has the potential to do great things, but so many people can't live life to the fullest - some people can't attend school, some people have mental disorders, etc..
Humans are such intriguing creatures, really, and given our intelligence and ability to communicate, there's so much we SHOULD be doing that we're not. Everyone complains about issues like global warming, war, etc, but nobody does anything.

[WNxMastrefubu]

Oh well thats much deeper than i couldve imagined, kudos on the work

[NOPE]

WNxMastrefubu, on 7 Jul 2009, 17:45, said:

Oh well thats much deeper than i couldve imagined, kudos on the work

Haha, thank you very much!
I kind of doubt most people would pick up on it - all of my writing is extremely symbolic. As a rule of thumb, in my poetry, I never say what I mean.

[Z_mann]

It's not like doom at all. Its confusion. Sitting, summer splodges over your sweaty scalp. And you have no idea why it like that, and that's whats trapping you...

P.S. Like the poem, Lil. Like the poem.

[NOPE]

Z_mann, on 8 Jul 2009, 21:57, said:

It's not like doom at all. Its confusion. Sitting, summer splodges over your sweaty scalp. And you have no idea why it like that, and that's whats trapping you...

P.S. Like the poem, Lil. Like the poem.

Thank you! ^^

Edited by Guy Mannly, 13 June 2010 - 00:53.

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:36.

[Sgt. Nuker]

Even though these pieces may not describe exactly what is written, they evoke imagery like I've grown accustom to seeing from you Lil.

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:36.

[Sgt. Nuker]

"Cheap" is the perfect poetic scream against a society that ignores the ones that don't look the way we're all told we need to look like if we wish to be accepted. Powerful phrases like "Emotion: Buy one, get one free" speak volumes because that's how commercials are geared. Evoke the emotion of the masses so they buy until they can't buy anymore. Both poems are good, but I've taken a liking to Cheap for an obvious meaning. Well done Lil.

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:36.

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:36.

[Sgt. Nuker]

I firmly believe that "Ex" is your best work yet, Lil. Even if the lines don't depict something literal, they are bound by strong imagery. The verses have a flow to them, like that of oil from a drain. While the reader pours over the text, the stanzas flow seamlessly together.

[D.K.]

Whoa, Lil. Just whoa.

Images you make (As Nooka already said) are powerful, vivid and clear. That poem read aloud, is a beautiful thing to hear. Brilliant work.

[NOPE]

Warboss Nooka, on 28 Oct 2009, 18:18, said:

I firmly believe that "Ex" is your best work yet, Lil. Even if the lines don't depict something literal, they are bound by strong imagery. The verses have a flow to them, like that of oil from a drain. While the reader pours over the text, the stanzas flow seamlessly together.

Thank you! To be honest, I'm especially proud to know that you think this is my best work - I hate to admit it, but a lot of the time when I write, my work isn't about myself - I write about emotions I'm not currently experiencing, I mean. Lately I've been trying to write "real" poetry, though - from my heart instead of my mind - and this happens to be what I'd consider my most personal work.

D.K., on 28 Oct 2009, 18:37, said:

Whoa, Lil. Just whoa.

Images you make (As Nooka already said) are powerful, vivid and clear. That poem read aloud, is a beautiful thing to hear. Brilliant work.

Thank you very much. [:

--

also I edited the second to last stanza of "Ex" because of unintentional repetition of words and to try and reattempt what I was trying to say.. is it any better? ><

Edited by Lil, 29 October 2009 - 09:43.

[Sgt. Nuker]

Nothing wrong with admitting your work isn't about yourself. One of the reasons I do is because I know myself and it seems to be the easiest thing (for me) to come up with something to write about. Keep in mind though, that sometimes your most personal work can be your best work regardless of the point of view.

[NOPE]

Warboss Nooka, on 29 Oct 2009, 17:47, said:

Nothing wrong with admitting your work isn't about yourself. One of the reasons I do is because I know myself and it seems to be the easiest thing (for me) to come up with something to write about. Keep in mind though, that sometimes your most personal work can be your best work regardless of the point of view.

you're probably right. When one writes about false emotions, it's harder to be specific about how you feel while still connecting with the reader.
off topic, but I posted some of these poems in a thread on another forum and one of my readers wrote a limerick about me:

Quote

I once met a poet named Lil'
Who writes rhymes that fulfill
A hole in my heart
Where words can't depart
But she speaks them out with such skill.

I must say, I'm flattered.. felt I needed to share it.

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:36.

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:36.

[NOPE]

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Edited by Guy Mannly, 27 July 2012 - 00:37.