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[Lucid]

I've decided to start writing stories, and so here's my first one (that i plan to complete).



Author's Note: This story is fictional, any similarity to real-world people, places, or events is strictly coincidental.



Red September-Introduction



[indent]30 years ago, the world of Serif was at peace. The inhabitants of the world, known as humans, had long since discarded the brutality of war. Countries coexisted with one another, and worked together to achieve common goals. Large conflicts were unheard of, and any international disputes were handled with diplomacy. With no need for soldiers, most countries completely eliminated their armed forces, those armies still in existence were only token forces. Almost every member of the world population was confident about a peace lasting millions of years. This peace was about to be shattered.

The Republic of Mombossa is known for it's peace-promoting administration. The Mombossan Head of State, Fredrick Hyrb constantly denounces the use of force as a political process. Hyrb holds presidential power an astounding 15 years, from 2152 to 2167. However, dark clouds are brewing amongst the population. One group in particular, The Black Hand, wishes to radically change the balance. For years, the people of Southern Mombossa have requested independence, but that request had fallen on deaf ears. Outraged at being ignored, some members of the population of Southern Mombossa turn to a radical group, The Black Hand.

The Black Hand is considered by many nations to be a terrorist group, with numerous bombings to their credit. However, in an effort to stop a rebellion, President Hyrb orders a group of five thousand militia to try and pacify the Black Hand. The militia however, is a little heavy-handed in it's approach, and massacres one-hundred peaceful demonstrators. Seeing a potential spark that may cause a international incident, Hyrb orders a media blackout of the so-called "Ottoman Massacre." In response to the massacre and the subsequent cover-up, the Black Hand come up with another plan to gain independence. Their plan is to assassinate the president, and bring international attention to their calls for independence. This plan for independence led indirectly to the greatest war in over two centuries.

The plan is nevertheless effective, and on June 28,2167, six months before his term was over, a single bullet killed the president, and forever altered history.

Less than an hour after the assassination, the Vice President, Christopher Stoffel, was sworn in as temporary president.

After the people elected Stoffel, he promised to continue the plan set by his predecessor to maintain a lasting peace. However, even as he was promising peace, he was planning for war. He instituted a secret program to rebuild Mombossa's army to unheard of levels. In less than five years, Mombossa's army strengthened from about 10,000 poorly trained soldiers armed with sub-standard equipment, to a massive army, over 5 million strong, and equipped with state-of-the art weapons, tanks, and helicopters. The navy went from around 5,000 strong sailing in 50 year-old ships, to a fully modernized seaborne force, one million strong, equipped with cutting edge technology. All this happened in complete secrecy. So secret in fact, that none of Stoffel's own cabinet knew about the build-up. The few people in the country that knew, didn't know about either the reasoning behind it, nor the final purpose. This reason for this buildup could be boiled down to one, simple word; oil.

Few people outside of the government knew about the oil crises that was about to befall not only Mombossa, but also Serif as a whole. Serif was running out of oil.

With few reserves in Mombossa, Stoffel knew that the nation would soon be out of the precious substance, also known as "Black Gold." The president knew that it was difficult for mankind to create oil, and it would take hundreds of millions, if not billions, of years for more oil to be created by nature. With this in mind, the president decided that the easiest way to procure more oil was to take it. But from where?

Stoffel reasoned that the best source of oil was a continent across the globe, named Sarathi. This continent consisted of three countries, with the United Sarabian States taking up seventy-five percent of the landmass. Sarathi was literally floating in oil. Underneath most of the landscape sat large pockets of oil. The oil from Sarathi could sustain the globe for almost 20 years. One of the problems is that the oil was deep, almost 100 miles below the surface, and it would take a massive effort to extract it. Many nations have tried, but all have failed. If the oil could be gotten to the surface, it would be easy to distribute. However, there is one more problem. The United Sarabian States and Mombossa are bitter rivals. Two wars have been started over disputes between the two countries, and if anyone was able to extract the oil, the USS would be in control of it, so they would charge Mombossa vastly inflated prices, over 1000 times what the oil is worth. The only solution to this problem is for Mombossa to control the oil, and the only way for that to happen is through war.

And so it was. On the morning of December 7, 2172, the people of Learmoth, New Calidonia , the capital of the USS, were woken to gunshots and explosions, as Mombossan troops stormed the capital building.

The prospects of a "Million Year Peace" lay dead among the bodies of the few civilians who fought back.


Resistance was minimal after the invasion, with most residents, trying to minimize deaths, accepted the dramatic turn of events as if it happens every day. With no standing army large enough to even try to fight back the invasion force, the USS just gave up. Less than two weeks after the invasion, known as I-Day, it was business as usual in Learmoth. People were crowding retail stores to shop for the upcoming Christmas holiday.

Tamal Rahman was just 10 years old then, but he saw something that night that changed his life forever. He and his older sister, April, were just out doing some window shopping, savoring the joy of not having school, when they were approached by a soldier. Tamal could smell alcohol on the soldiers breath, and he had a sense of dread; like something bad was going to happen, so he was on his guard. April on the other hand seemed to not notice anything, so she started talking to the soldier. Tamal noticed something about the soldiers body language, he couldn't place it, but it seemed tense, dismissing it as nothing, he started to suggest to his sister that they should leave, when the soldier pushed Tamal away, and grabbed April's shoulder. Acting instinctively to protect his sister, Tamal planted a firm kick to the soldier's solar plexus, causing the soldier to release April's arm. Being only 10 years old and 120 pounds, Tamal didn't really hurt the soldier, especially with his combat gear, but it was enough to cause him to cry out in surprise.

This alerted the other soldier on duty, who came to his friend's aid. The two soldiers whispered to each other, so Tamal couldn't hear their words, but their tone of voice and body language told him that he was in for a world of pain. Before he could react however, the second soldier had grabbed him and forced him into an alley. That's when the pain came; as the first soldier started punching and kicking Tamal. With each blow, the soldier said something in another language. Even though Tamal couldn't understand him, Tamal was pretty sure that he was swearing. After what seemed like hours, the blows came to a stop, and the soldier said very clearly, "Now you're gong to find out what happens to people who resist us, but first, I'm going to take something very dear to you. Seeing how you fought to protect her, I think your girlfriend over there should be a worthy prize, eh? And as revenge for kicking me, I'm going to make you watch." The soldier then pulled out a knife. "Oh, and if you scream, her blood's going to be all over the ground, do you understand?" Slowly, Tamal nodded. Tamal was having trouble seeing because of the blood streaming from his face, but he didn't need to see to know what happened next.

Tamal heard heavy footsteps walking away from him. Then, he heard April scream. It made the hair on his neck stand up, it caused an icy pit in his stomach. He thought Oh my god, they killed my sister . He then heard something rip, not knowing what it was scared Tamal, but what scared him more was when he heard the soldier try to unbuckle his belt. It was the last thing that that soldier ever did. Tamal heard a gunshot, he heard another scream, then another gunshot. With this last shot, he felt something warm splatter his face. That's when he blacked out.

Tamal awoken sometime later, lying in a bed, his eyes were swollen shut, so he couldn't see. He didn't know where he was, nor how he got here. The last thing he remembered was getting approached by the soldier, and then the soldier grabbing...... "April!" He cried out. He then heard a soft voice that he recognized immediately as his sister's whisper. "I'm here little brother, I'm not hurt. We're at the headquarters of the Resistance Forces." Upon hearing this, Tamal thought the Resistance? How'd we get here? Like always, April seemed to read his mind as she said "The resistance brought us here. One of the members heard me scream and rushed to investigate. After seeing what was happening, the members shot both soldiers, and saved our lives."

That's when he heard an unfamiliar voice, this one male "That's right, I couldn't let them harm children. Especially a girl. I saw you fight to protect her, and I was going to ask you if you wanted to join, we need all the help we can get." Tamal considered this for a minute then responded "I want to fight. I want to join." At this, the male voice laughed and said "Well, consider yourself signed up. Your first order is to rest. Once you heal, we can get started on your training ."

Little did Tamal, or anyone else, know that he is destined to become the most famous soldier in history.[/indent]



I'll try and have chapters 1 and 2 up by this weekend.


any tips/suggestions/criticism is appreciated

[JJ]

Though I have no idea how to rate writing, after reading through, it is interesting to me, and I do want to read more, so good work I suppose?

And the part on the sister, you'd thought she's dead, until afterwards when you find out the truth, and well, that's good I guess.

[General Kirkov]

I see you are using a mix of fictional locations and historical organizations (albeit loosely) and you incorporate them well, an interesting read and I do look forward to more!

[Brad]

A good story, I especially liked a reference to a certain assassination, which was a bit difficult to pick up at tifrst, but it was very nicely pulled off.
I'm looking forward to more from you, carry on writing my friend.

[General Kirkov]

Ok Here is a quick suggestion passed on to me a while back, keep your chapters short and make more of them, reading text online is strain's ones eyes, breaking it up give the reader some breathing space. That segment must have been 4 or 5 pages on word right? break it down into 2 or three pages and you will get more views and/or responses as you build up suspense.