7 replies to this topic

[HawkBlade124]

Link Meets Spartan
By Ben Fuller

Part 1

One day, Link was in his bed in his Kokori home listening to the songs of the birds nearby outside his window. It was a quiet, peaceful day. The sun was out, only a few clouds were in the sky, and then all went quiet. “What is this?” Link Said. He went outside All the sudden, he saw a humongous shadow come over Kokori Village, he thought that it was just some passers by, just to be safe Link went back inside his home and grabbed his Master Sword and Hylian Shield. Ready for an attack he heard a booming voice out in the sky. “We are the Covenant! We’ve come to take over this land! Bow before us or if you don’t this land will crumble to the very feet of our commander!”

“WE WILL NEVER BOW TO YOU, YOU, FREAKS!” Link yelled.

All the Kokori’s cheered for Link. Congratulating himself.

“SO BE IT!” Answered The Arbiter.

“Get ready the phantoms.” Said the Arbiter to a grunt next to him.

“Yes, Master.” One of the Grunts said.

Link all the sudden saw a giant hole in the sky. “What is that?” Link said to himself. Then appeared out of the hole were more and more ships pouring out of the hole. Link thought to himself “Were those Hostile ships or friendly ships? He didn’t know.

Then one of those ships were descending on Kokori Village having a big thing on its cargo Link squinted his eyes focusing, he saw a Scorpion on its turret. Then, the ship made the tank drop. 8 people jumped out of the big hole of the ship. One had Green, hard as Steel armor on with Green Emeralds on his suit and the rest; they had lame Grey armor on. Link wanted to see what they were doing, so he climbed down the ladder of his house, went over to the green colored one asked “What are you doing and what are those ships?!?!??!”

“We are going to save your skins and those are Covenant ships that are floating by.” Said Spartan
“Can I help?” Link asked again.

“Sure kid.” Spartan said “How many years have you been fighting?”

“Mmm…10 years.”

“Good, we need an experienced fighter just like you.”

“What are those things in your hands?”

Those things were actually SMG’S (Sub Machine Guns). Link didn’t know what they were.

“Are you kidding me!?!?!?!? These are the most simplest guns that you can find!!!!!” Spartan laughed.

Link’s cheeks went red. He was embarrassed he asked that question.

“Listen, I have to tell my best friend to look after the place all right.”

“All right.” Spartan was still chuckling

Link went over to tell Saria to look after the place when he was gone.

“Covenant had landed in that big field over there.” Cortana said.

“Whose that?”

“I don’t know his name. Hey kid, what is your name?” Spartan said.

“Link.”

[Nid]

Are all of these Link stories serious?

If they are, and you don't mind me criticizing, well this story in particular is lacking proper paragraph and sentence structure. Not to mention the plot holes scattered around.

For instance, assuming you were referring to the Kokiri village from Ocarina of Time, well Link was not able to correctly carry the Hylian Shield at such a young age, let alone wield the Master Sword. (This is why he was sealed inside the Temple of Time until he was old enough) I recall Link finding his first sword (The Kokiri Sword) and buying a deku shield the day he left on his adventure. This would suggest he had no previous fighting experience.

This is all of course, assuming you are referring to young link, as a child.

At the end of Ocarina of Time link is given the chance to re live the years that he missed out on while sealed in the temple of time, and so is transported back to his correct age by Zelda. Following this, link abandons his master sword and Hylian Shield and embarks on a new quest in termina, never to return to Hyrule. Link never stays in Hyrule as an Adult, and if he did he would no longer have to fight until Ganon returns (As explained in Wind Waker and Twilight Princess) he would not have 10 years of fighting experience. Furthermore, as an Adult, I highly doubt he would still be living in the Kokiri forest, as he doesn't even return there as a child.

I doubt that a single UNSC ship could bypass a covenant armada pouring through the sky as well.


Just a few things to take note of really. When writing fantastical stories, you dont need to follow any particular boundaries and such, but when using characters from other forms of Media, well it's good to at least try to stick with something fairly possible by all characters means, so that other people reading who relate to and understand these characters can enjoy your story a bit more.

Your Imagination however is wild, which is always a good sign for writers, it's just about controlling that imagination.

Edited by Nidmeister, 15 December 2010 - 15:39.

[HawkBlade124]

Nah, i did it for fun. why do you ask?

[Nid]

Well if not serious then I'm assuming you may have done better dropping this in SYD or something, but that is just my opinion.

[HawkBlade124]

well, I was intending to make this a book as you can see

[NergiZed]

HawkBlade124, on 15 Dec 2010, 13:04, said:

well, I was intending to make this a book as you can see

You must be either an epic troll or an incredible ignoranmus, neither of which are good for your mental and physical health.

Edited by NergiZed, 16 December 2010 - 03:20.

[Camille]

HawkBlade124, on 15 Dec 2010, 19:04, said:

well, I was intending to make this a book as you can see

wait, what??

i hope that was just a typo...

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

All right guys, lets keep this to constructive criticism.