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The 2012 Republican Primaries: Run for your lives!


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#1 Dr. Strangelove

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 10:30

To understand my views you have to understand that while I believe only Anarcho-Capitalism to be ethical, I'm a giant megalomaniac and I have a massive hard-on for other megalomaniacs. Obviously, there is a conflict here.

While I may or may not be voting in the Republican primaries, I definitely won't be voting in the Presidential election(I consider voting both immoral and pointless).

So, without further ado, here is my rundown of the Republican contenders as of early February 2012:

-Rick Santorum: Turd. I'd almost rather vote for Obama.

-Mitt Romney: Turd who has a chance of winning.

-Everyone who dropped out: Turds.

-Ron Paul: Least of many evils, but still way too moderate for my tastes, and he's anti-abortion. Will need a miracle to win. Will need a miracle several orders of magnitude larger to make any difference while in office. In short: a turd.

-Newt Gingrich: The turd I'm voting for. Will do the best job as nation's feces-flinger in chief.

Let me explain my choice: I find Newt's platform only the slightest bit more palatable than anyone else's(save Paul), but I find him much more charismatic. It's like the difference between Mephistopheles and the common cold; sure, the common cold kills far more people, but it's just so mundane and it lacks the dramatic, theatrical flare of a devil. At least one could say Satan(yes, I know, not the same thing as Mephisto) is great in his evil - there's some honour in losing to him. But there isn't anything exciting about being defeated by stagnation and decay-an overwhelming mediocrity. That's just depressing no matter what angle you look at it from. I like him because he cheated on his wife while she was dying of cancer. I like him because he supports neutron bombs. I like him because he's a corrupt demagogue and Washington insider. I like him for the same reasons that everyone else hates his guts.

And I mean really, you're picking someone whose job it is to kill tens of thousands, steal trillions, and kidnap millions every year, and you want someone who isn't a ruthless mean-spirited sonuvabitch?

So if Romney wants my vote, he better come out tomorrow promising to punch every orphan in the nation and start carpet-bombing China with nukes, all while cackling maniacally.

Here's my list of who is most likely to win the election(assuming they win the primary):

1:Obama
2:Romney
3:Gingrich
4:Santorum

Factoring in the chance of winning the primary:

1:Obama
2:Romney
3:Santorum
4:Gingrich

We're in for a shit sandwich no matter what.

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#2 General

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 10:35

All bow to TPTB in the end, I predict Mitt Romney to win though, he has the face of a President, if you know what I mean :P

#3 Chyros

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 10:42

Ron Paul will never win because the media is systematically denying his existence.



Probably because he wants to end the wars, which means declining profits for those actually in charge. He's also the only one with more than a single brain cell - it's a pity he's against abortion. He seems to be relatively un-corrupt though, and even with a modicum of thought for actual progression. I'm no expert, though.
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#4 Ion Cannon!

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Posted 17 February 2012 - 14:02

The problem the republican party faces is that is has almost become split between moderate republicans and a growing number of complete rightwing nutjobs, who see the closing of loopholes that companies abuse as socialism. Because of this the candidates have to try and appeal to both types, which comes across as flip flopping or being disingenious. For example Mitt Rommney passed a slightly lesser version of Obama's health bill in his state, before Obama tried to pass his, and then has to go on and say how the healthcare is all a load of crap, despite it being (most likely) the thing he believes in.

This has also occurred in the senate and house, with new tea party republicans almost causing a default, against the wishes even of some of the more veteran party members.

I'm no expert on american politics however, so that might all be a load of hogwash.

Though to be honest with all the good economic news that has come out of the US lately, if that continues it will practically cement Obama.
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#5 Chyros

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Posted 22 February 2012 - 00:04

The more I watch stuff about it the more I'm convinced Ron Paul is actually one of the few, probably even the only one, who actually has the good of the country at heart and knows what he's talking about. It's especially fun watching him destroy Ben Bernanke, btw.
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#6 Chyros

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 11:02

Apparently Bush senior has publicly supported Mitt Romney. Does that mean Romney is the new Antichrist?
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#7 Wizard

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 11:32

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 11:02, said:

Apparently Bush senior has publicly supported Mitt Romney. Does that mean Romney is the new Antichrist?
That won't be official until Bush Jnr does it to. You have to collect all 3 Bush endorsements in order to level up to over 9000 on the Satan scale.

#8 CJ

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 12:07

View PostWizard, on 30 March 2012 - 11:32, said:

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 11:02, said:

Apparently Bush senior has publicly supported Mitt Romney. Does that mean Romney is the new Antichrist?
That won't be official until Bush Jnr does it to. You have to collect all 3 Bush endorsements in order to level up to over 9000 on the Satan scale.

Satan says to stop pinning everything that evil on him. He isn't responsible for what Bush does.

View PostChyros, on 11 November 2013 - 18:21, said:

I bet I could program an internet


#9 Chyros

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 12:10

View PostWizard, on 30 March 2012 - 11:32, said:

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 11:02, said:

Apparently Bush senior has publicly supported Mitt Romney. Does that mean Romney is the new Antichrist?
That won't be official until Bush Jnr does it to. You have to collect all 3 Bush endorsements in order to level up to over 9000 on the Satan scale.
I just wanted to mention that I really fucking lolled at that :rotlf: .

Tbh, Santorum is not much better though :xD: .
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#10 Alias

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 12:52

Santorum is even worse.
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#11 Krieger22

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 13:48

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 12:10, said:

View PostWizard, on 30 March 2012 - 11:32, said:

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 11:02, said:

Apparently Bush senior has publicly supported Mitt Romney. Does that mean Romney is the new Antichrist?
That won't be official until Bush Jnr does it to. You have to collect all 3 Bush endorsements in order to level up to over 9000 on the Satan scale.
I just wanted to mention that I really fucking lolled at that :rotlf: .

Tbh, Santorum is not much better though :xD: .

View PostAlias, on 30 March 2012 - 12:52, said:

Santorum is even worse.
Actually far worse, if he talks like this the US will be out of allies :xD:
https://twitter.com/...751525896765442
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Sareen said:

NOOO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO ...*closes ears* lalalala that never happened!


#12 Chyros

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 14:09

View PostKrieger22, on 30 March 2012 - 13:48, said:

View PostAlias, on 30 March 2012 - 12:52, said:

Santorum is even worse.
Actually far worse, if he talks like this the US will be out of allies :xD:
https://twitter.com/...751525896765442
Yeah, he's taken a swing at the NL several times iirc. Doesn't matter though, it's not as if anybody actually likes the US anyway :P .
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#13 General

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 20:39

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 14:09, said:

View PostKrieger22, on 30 March 2012 - 13:48, said:

View PostAlias, on 30 March 2012 - 12:52, said:

Santorum is even worse.
Actually far worse, if he talks like this the US will be out of allies :xD:
https://twitter.com/...751525896765442
Yeah, he's taken a swing at the NL several times iirc. Doesn't matter though, it's not as if anybody actually likes the US anyway :P .


USA is similiar to a bully of a school, which indeed powerful and hard to take down, but once it is down to ground, all the weak ones which supposedly fear him will gather and start kicking him 8|

#14 Chyros

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 20:53

View PostGeneral, on 30 March 2012 - 20:39, said:

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 14:09, said:

View PostKrieger22, on 30 March 2012 - 13:48, said:

View PostAlias, on 30 March 2012 - 12:52, said:

Santorum is even worse.
Actually far worse, if he talks like this the US will be out of allies :xD:
https://twitter.com/...751525896765442
Yeah, he's taken a swing at the NL several times iirc. Doesn't matter though, it's not as if anybody actually likes the US anyway :P .


USA is similiar to a bully of a school, which indeed powerful and hard to take down, but once it is down to ground, all the weak ones which supposedly fear him will gather and start kicking him 8|
Which makes Europe the loser kid hanging out with him :xD: .
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The brave hide behind technology. The stupid hide from it. But the clever have technology, and hide it.
-The Book of Cataclysm


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#15 General

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 21:00

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 20:53, said:

View PostGeneral, on 30 March 2012 - 20:39, said:

View PostChyros, on 30 March 2012 - 14:09, said:

View PostKrieger22, on 30 March 2012 - 13:48, said:

View PostAlias, on 30 March 2012 - 12:52, said:

Santorum is even worse.
Actually far worse, if he talks like this the US will be out of allies :xD:
https://twitter.com/...751525896765442
Yeah, he's taken a swing at the NL several times iirc. Doesn't matter though, it's not as if anybody actually likes the US anyway :P .


USA is similiar to a bully of a school, which indeed powerful and hard to take down, but once it is down to ground, all the weak ones which supposedly fear him will gather and start kicking him 8|
Which makes Europe the loser kid hanging out with him :xD: .


Exactly, and UK will be the one who put the hardest kick of all |8

#16 SquigPie

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Posted 31 March 2012 - 00:14

And the current political debate in Denmark is over a guy shooting his neighbors dog...

Politics are stupid.

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As long as the dark foundation of our nature, grim in its all-encompassing egoism, mad in its drive to make that egoism into reality, to devour everything and to define everything by itself, as long as that foundation is visible, as long as this truly original sin exists within us, we have no business here and there is no logical answer to our existence.
Imagine a group of people who are all blind, deaf and slightly demented and suddenly someone in the crowd asks, "What are we to do?"... The only possible answer is, "Look for a cure". Until you are cured, there is nothing you can do.
And since you don't believe you are sick, there can be no cure.
- Vladimir Solovyov

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#17 Chyros

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Posted 10 April 2012 - 21:30

So, Santorum is out. For some reason.

Anything that could possibly stop Romney now?

Edited by Chyros, 10 April 2012 - 21:32.

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#18 Krieger22

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Posted 11 April 2012 - 03:00

Ron- oh wait, not crazy enough to appeal to most of them. As someone (forgot who) said, as it is, even Reagan couldn't win these primaries! :xD:
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Sareen said:

NOOO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOO ...*closes ears* lalalala that never happened!


#19 Wizard

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Posted 11 April 2012 - 07:30

View PostChyros, on 10 April 2012 - 21:30, said:

So, Santorum is out. For some reason.

Anything that could possibly stop Romney now?
Technically, only a hugely embarressing scandal that would make him pull out himself.

I think that Santorum came under a bit of personal pressure as his little daughter has been in hospital. Combine that with the fact that he didn't really have much in the way of support brought this about earlier than the Party Convention-whatsama-you-call-it.





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