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I story I'm Writing


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#1 Areze

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Posted 23 October 2006 - 20:12

OK, so I decided to start writing a story about a random subject. I'm nowhere near finish and I'm on the first chapter but here it is anyway. :pnd:

Hearts Of War

Chapter 1: The Storm Approaches


A heavy rain fell on the land. It was a desolate, war-torn area with large craters and scorch marks. Sparse trees stood in between them, their leaves blown off. Corpses lie everywhere, bloodied.
Two large armies stared each other down. On one side where a staggering 15,000 soldiers, dressed in a dark greed helmet with light green high collar blazer with forest camouflage pants and leather boots. They where all Blond and Blue-Eyed. They where mostly around 21-22. They where the Arkadian Imperial Army, at least a very small fraction of it anyway. Their leader was a man by the name Kauatrou Sulaskia.
On the other side there was a army dwarfed by the Arkadians. 9,500 jungle wear clad rebels. Compared to the Arkadians, they where young, only about 16-17. Their commander was a 20-year-old man called Gundae Anquamar, a driven leader.
The two armies where at the plains of Katchroke-Kanna. On the planet of Kel-Moria. The year is 2545. And this is the second Ceruleian War. The bloodiest war in all of existence. From 2545 to 2558, many Human, Arkadian, Kel-Morian, and many other men of other races died. It was a massacre. And it’s not the only one, except it’s the most vicious. From 2210 to 2218 the United Federation of Denilaia warred with Banorn. A small backwater cluster of solar systems on the western part of the galaxy. And from 2388 to 2400 Denilaia fought the first Ceruleian War.
But there was a third army coming to the battlefield. A Denilaia army led by the Rugh Bagahn1 Shruakin Hanzo. Which secured a bloody fight. We can only hope that the Arkadian Empire will not prevail.

1-The Rugh Bagahn race is a noble, but quiet people that prefer mountains and grasslands to scorched battlefields.


The next day the Kel-Morian army continued to look with fear at the oncoming battle. No one wanted to face the Arkadian forces. Kauatrou is a vicious tactician. They think that he is formulating a plan at that very moment. They are right. He planned to split his forces in two. One moving in on the left. The other on the right. The Kel-Morians would not survive. The Denilaians where their only hope. Shruakin refused to let the Arkadians take over Kel-Moria. Simply refused. He had black hair that went a little lower then his shoulders. He had red eyes that were intense, yet kindly at the same time. He was also around 6’4” and has the body of a runner. He wore a Denilaian uniform Light blue rainproof-like material with a Dark blue stripe running down the side. The same shade of blue jacket. Stripe running down the side of the sleeve, made out of the same material. The only break in the left sleeve is a three-chevron mark on his sleeve. Showing that he was a Coronal. He hoped that he was enough to destroy the Arkadian forces. It might be enough to slow down Mao Tsung Nuuee Rahah (pronounced Ra, as in the Egyptian god Ra). He is the Head General of the 500,000 Arkadian forces on the light-blue planet the size of Mars. Shruakin could not know of the up coming battle that would tear his the Kel’Morian’s and the Arkadian armies, the battle of Kalz’Maddune. The most feared, and recognized battles in the Ceruleian war. Unknown to Shruakin he cannot do anything to stop the battle.



It will come to pass.


There is nothing he can do to stop it.



There is nothing anyone can to stop it.



As the Denilaian forces grew nearer and nearer, so did everyones' tension. The Arkadian forces have prepped 550 cybernetic warriors for the upcoming assault. The Kel-Morians mounted over 2,500 mounted machine guns throughout the trenches. The Denilaians got Tanks, VTOL Jump jet light Harriers, and Humvees for the attack. You cold practically smell the men’s fear as they were preparing for the assault.


Rifles were loaded, bayonets set and secured, Kakatsals loaded and cleaned. Falcon Assault Rifles the same. Armor checked for cracks, Vehicles checked for engine trouble, gas, and gun and ammo maintenance. Pillboxes repaved to prevent cracking, Mounted machine guns maintenanced, Tank Barriers set, barbed wire mended. Every thing was being set for the attack.


Then, it came. Artillery shell screams are what woke up the rebel forces. They pounded the defenses, killing soldiers, destroying gun and Anti tank emplacements, Weapon caches caved in, all the maintenance from the other day undone in 45 minutes of intense shelling. Then the Arkadians came. Bullets peppered the remaining defenses and soldiers charged the able defenses and took them over. The rebels fought valiantly but the quickly lost ground. The tactics of the Arkadian assault were too much for them to handle.


The Denilaians were still miles away in the twin villages of Adudmun and Atmen. These two villages were the targets for the Arkadian forces in the area. Having still operational Tunnel Networks left over from the civil war, and mines that still holds thousand of rounds of ammo. If the Arkadians capture the villages, there would be no way anyone would be able to stop their conquest of Kel-Moria.

So, do you like?

EDIT: Here's the Arkadian Flag Ill make more later.Posted Image

Edited by Qaman123, 25 October 2006 - 20:59.

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#2 Sgt. Nuker

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Posted 24 October 2006 - 01:53

So far the story has good content. If developed farther (which it will be from what you're saying), I believe your story would be a good read. Interesting setting and time, but as you said, you just wrote the story for the sake of writing.


My best,

Nuker

P.S. Unless "Coronal" is how you meant to spell it, it should be "Colonel". :pnd:
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#3 Areze

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Posted 24 October 2006 - 20:01

Yeah, Im planning to expand on it. Im writing chapter 2 right now, so expect an update soon,
to all who are wondering when illl update, the answer is whenits done :dope:
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