1469 replies to this topic

[BeefJeRKy]

 Alias, on 13 Mar 2009, 3:17, said:

http://www.news.com....3-13762,00.html

Quote

A BRITISH man fed up with his wife's complaints advertised her for sale - and got a number of offers.

"Nagging Wife. No Tax, No MOT (roadworthy certificate). Very high maintenance - some rust," wrote Gary Bates, 38, in a small ad in Trade-It, more usually used to buy and sell cars or household goods.

Mr Bates, a self-employed builder from Gloucestershire, southwest England, snapped after his wife Donna on got on his nerves while she was watching television and he decided to place the ad as a joke.

"She was nagging me for doing something small, while she was watching some rubbish on TV. So I just thought I'd put an ad in to get rid of her.

"I didn't think anyone would ring up but I've had at least nine or 10 people calling about her. It's gone mad. There was no one I knew - just people asking, 'Is she still available?'"

The couple married only last year, and Mr Bates said his 40-year-old wife - whom he advertised in the magazine's Free to Collect section, along with some of his fishing tackle - initially gave him "a bit of an ear-bashing".

But he said: "She's seen the funny side of it now, though!"

LULz

[Ghostrider]

Hahaha, I'm liking this guy. If I were the wife though I'd be pissed.

[WNxMastrefubu]

lol, how do u see the funny side of being sold? she must be VERY forgiving

[Destiny]

Bat hitches ride on a shuttle

[BeefJeRKy]

Umm wtf?

Quote

In Pittsfield, MA Stephanie K. Lighten, 26, allegedly tried to artificially impregnate her wife Jennifer A. Lighten, 33, against her will.

Jennifer Lighten told police that her wife was “all liquored up” when she allegedly tried to use a syringe to inseminate her, and that Stephanie had been talking about trying to impregnate her for some time. According to the police report “Jennifer said that Stephanie had a ‘turkey baster and her brother’s semen in a sealed container.’ Jennifer said she told Stephanie that she didn’t want to get pregnant.” (According to police the ‘turkey baster’ was actually a large syringe with a catheter tip.)


That’s allegedly when Stephanie threw Jennifer on the couch, grabbed at her clothes and threatened to impregnate her.

Jennifer broke free, ran into the bathroom and locked the door. When Stephanie broke the bathroom door down, she hurt her wrist in the process, and Jennifer escaped when Stephanie went to get an ice pack from the freezer. Jennifer attempted to get away in the couple’s SUV and as she tried to pull away, Stephanie jumped on the side of car and made Jennifer stop. A witness at the scene claimed Stephanie “was hanging on the SUV door handle, trying to get into the car.” Police arrived at the scene and arrested a very intoxicated Stephanie Lighten outside her home.

Police then confiscated the weapon, plus a container of semen and some aluminum foil, which was originally was used to hold the semen. Nicholas Lighten, Stephanie Lighten’s brother, was the donor, according to officers.

However, Pittsfield Detective Thomas H. Harrington said Jennifer Lighten declined to go forward with any charges of assault with intent to rape, because she did not believe Stephanie was going to sexually assault her with the syringe. Stephanie K. Lighten has been charged with domestic assault and battery.

She was released on personal recognizance after denying the allegations in Central Berkshire District Court last Wednesday.

Before her release, Central Berkshire District Court Judge Rita S. Koenigs cautioned Lighten to “refrain from abuse” and to return to court for an April 29 pretrial hearing. Neither of the Lighten’s has returned LGR’s requests for comments at the time of publication. Stephanie Lighten’s MySpace page is now set to private.

[Chyros]

Must've been a hell of a fight? :s

[Ghostrider]

This is why MEN and women are meant to be together.

[BeefJeRKy]

Come to think about it, this is ALMOST rape.

[WNxMastrefubu]

 Scope, on 19 Mar 2009, 23:12, said:

Come to think about it, this is ALMOST rape.

could be charged with attempted rape AFAIK

[Destiny]

Ah, read that on Sankaku Complex. Same-sex marriage. Initally I thought they had spelling errors, but then realized why they kept re-using HER wife. Damn

Yet the wife (The one getting raeped) wouldn't press charges against her wife for sexually assaulting her. Strange, yep.

[Alias]

http://www.news.com....355-421,00.html

Quote

POLICE were called to check harassment claims against a Sydney councillor who put a motion to buy a sex toy for NSW Fair Trading Minister Virginia Judge so she could go "screw herself".

Independent Strathfield councillor Danny Lim lodged the motion last month, recommending that the council purchase a vibrator for Ms Judge to encourage her "to stop screwing with the people of Strathfield and screw her- self instead".

Council refused to table the motion but The Daily Telegraph can reveal Ms Judge has lodged a complaint with the council calling for action against Mr Lim.

Mr Lim yesterday admitted to the incident and also that he had been behind a series of allegations of corruption against Ms Judge - claims which ICAC rejected.

"The pattern of harassment and verbal abuse is intimidating and upsetting to me and my family," Ms Judge told council.

[Destiny]

...lolwut





...no, seriously.

Russian planes again fly over U.S. Navy ships

Quote

On Monday, two Russian Ilyushin IL-38 maritime patrol aircraft, known as "Mays," overflew the U.S. aircraft carrier Stennis while it was in international waters in the Sea of Japan.

The Russian aircraft flew about 500 feet over the ship, lower than other flights the Russians have made over U.S. ships in the past year.

The USS Stennis was about 80 miles east of Pohang, South Korea, participating in the joint military exercise when the flyover occurred.

On Tuesday, the USS Blue Ridge, a lead command and control ship, and the Stennis were overflown by two Russian "Bear" long-range bombers multiple times, according to U.S. military officials.

The Bears overflew the ships at about 2,000 feet, officials said.

Saber-rattling, haha.

[CommanderJB]

I bet they were so intimidated by the Mays. Why, the chance of bits falling off and causing irreparable damage to the flight-deck must've been terrifying!
Ahem. (This was, of course, entirely jocular, and a comment simply on the age of the Il-38 rather than meaning to imply anything.)
Regardless, the politically-loaded nature of those flights means I'd advise against posting things like that in future, especially as it's not inherently funny.

[Ghostrider]

 CommanderJB, on 20 Mar 2009, 5:40, said:

I bet they were so intimidated by the Mays. Why, the chance of bits falling off and causing irreparable damage to the flight-deck must've been terrifying!
Ahem. (This was, of course, entirely jocular, and a comment simply on the age of the Il-38 rather than meaning to imply anything.)
Regardless, the politically-loaded nature of those flights means I'd advise against posting things like that in future, especially as it's not inherently funny.

Yeah, pretty sure those Russian pilots were making a statement when they flew over those US vessels. But what the devil would our aircraft carriers be doing in the Sea of Japan?

[CommanderJB]

Waiting to shoot down a North Korean 'satellite launch' I believe.

[BeefJeRKy]

Quote

GLASTONBURY, England, Nov. 3 (UPI) -- A British 19-year-old has officially changed his name to "Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined."

The Glastonbury, England, teenager -- originally named George Garratt -- said his new name, which is thought to be the world's longest, has so outraged his grandmother that she is no longer speaking to him, The Telegraph reported Monday.

The teen said he used an online service to officially change his name for a $20 fee.

"I wanted to be unique," Captain Fantastic said of his name choice. "I decided upon a theme of superheroes."

Link
Epic win or fail? I can't tell.

[Alias]

That's sort of against the rules of this thread, Scope... that story is four months old.

[CodeCat]

No it's not.

[Alias]

 CodeCat, on 29 Dec 2006, 8:33, said:

Quote any funny news articles as they come up. Do NOT post old news, only news that is current.

...

I'd hardly call 4 months old current, to be honest.

[Ion Cannon!]

Its still odd and unless someone already posted it 4 months ago there is no problem with it.

[BeefJeRKy]

There were no rules posted for this thread Alias. Also, as long as the news is within a year, it should be fine.

[Waris]

But what if it's a repost?

[Dutchygamer]

All I can say at that story is this:
*facepalm*

[Alias]

 Scope, on 26 Mar 2009, 4:01, said:

There were no rules posted for this thread Alias. Also, as long as the news is within a year, it should be fine.

Read the first post... :S

It contains this:

 CodeCat, on 29 Dec 2006, 8:33, said:

Quote any funny news articles as they come up. Do NOT post old news, only news that is current.

I wouldn't say that 4 months ago is "as they come up", nor is it "current". And in no definition is a year old current.

Edited by Alias, 25 March 2009 - 20:37.

[ΓΛPTΘΓ]

An Italian doctor completed a brain operation despite having a heart attack after realizing his patient would never recover if he stopped the surgery.

Surgeon Claudio Vitale started feeling pains in his chest half way through the operation but refused to stop despite his team's urging and the pain worsening.

After finishing the surgery, the doctor had an angioplasty operation to treat his attack.

Both doctor and patient are recovering.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------




This is professional, I admire his effort to save his patient while risking his live.