1469 replies to this topic

[Major Fuckup]

http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainmen...6-1226004644838

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THE best man at a wedding was left battered and bloodied after he was hit in the head by a fast-moving dildo.

The flying phallus left Darwin architect Jure Skumavc, 31, nursing a split forehead.

Mr Skumavc said he was injured by the bullet-shaped pink sex toy - measuring about 12cm in length - at a buck's party celebration to farewell friend Peter Rolih's bachelorhood.

Mr Skumavc was still sporting a scar on his forehead at Mr Rolih's wedding nearly three weeks after being donged by the artificial dong.

The darting dildo drama unfolded in a rented two-bedroom unit in Brisbane on December 28.

Mr Skumavc said about eight other friends joined Mr Rolih for the party.

He said a scantily clad exotic dancer appeared after a while and was soon performing her party trick: shooting dildos at the guests.

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Mr Skumavc said those who had seen the infamous ping pong ball scene in the Australian film Priscilla, Queen of the Desert would know how the party trick worked.

He said the pink projectile was flying an impressive 7m across the room and looping about 2m high.

"It wasn't a strong shot (when it hit me in the head)," he said.

"It probably just landed on an awkward sort of angle.

"She was shooting it through the room from one corner to the other.

"Other people got it in their chest and knees. I was the only one bleeding.

"It was my turn and it landed straight on my forehead.

"She started apologising straight away but I just said it was fine ... then I touched my forehead and there was blood."

Mr Skumavc had difficulties describing the tearaway toy in detail.

"I don't have a massive experience with dildos," he said.

The scars left by the offending object have since healed but Mr Skumavc said the story was still very much alive.

"People keep asking how close my face was (to cause that sort of injury)," he said.

Sounds like a good day!

[SquigPie]

Why would anyone hire a stripper that does THAT?!

[BeefJeRKy]

LOL That is embarassing.

[Ghostrider]

Quote

BRISBANE, Australia – An Australian fisherman who swam for six hours to reach shore after a rogue wave knocked him out of his boat said Wednesday that he survived on "adrenaline" and "sheer determination."

Andrew Wilson, 25, was on his own and was not wearing a life jacket when the wave sent him over the side of his boat Tuesday off the Gold Coast, south of the Queensland state capital, Brisbane.

Police launched an air and sea search for Wilson after his boat was spotted, unmanned and with the engine still running, Tweed Heads Police Inspector Darren Steel told Australian Broadcasting Corp.

Searchers found no sign of the missing man, Steel said. But he turned up ashore after swimming 4.7 miles (7.5 kilometers), clambering over rocks and then knocking on a stranger's door seeking help.

Wilson was treated at a hospital for cuts and exposure, then released.

Later, he told Nine Network television he realized as soon as he was in the water that he was going to have to swim for it.

Strong currents pulling him away from shore meant he could not rest even for a short time.

"I thought I'd be able to stop and be able to float and get some energy back, but if I stopped for 30 seconds it would take me straight back out to sea," Wilson said from his home, wearing board shorts and bandages on his knees.

"There was only going to be one outcome — I wasn't going to stop, so I just kept going," he said. "Adrenaline and just sheer determination."

Sourcey source.

That's a testament to the hardcoreness of all you from down under I think.

He must have had the boat steering locked though, the steering on any water craft is designed to start going in a circle if not manned.

[Chyros]

I'm surprised he didn't surf back instead .

[SquigPie]

That Andrew Wilson's one baaaaaad mother-

[Major Fuckup]

Quote

Top Gear host involved in scuffle with mobile phone-toting fan at Melbourne restaurant.

Controversial Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has been involved in a mobile phone-fuelled stoush at a Melbourne restaurant over the weekend.

Clarkson and co-host James May were reportedly dining with the host of Top Gear Australia, Shane Jacobson, at Giuseppe Arnaldo & Sons in the Crown Casino complex in Melbourne when a man was seen trying to take pictures of the three using his mobile phone.

Michael Garner claimed he was that camera-toting man. He called Melbourne radio station 3AW this morning and spoke of his alleged scuffle with Clarkson.

Garner said he saw the Top Gear host sitting at a nearby table with a group of people, so he took a photograph using his iPhone. Disappointed with his first effort, he attempted to take another but was confronted by Clarkson.

"He then got up out of his seat while I wasn't looking, because my back was to him, grabbed the phone out of my hand, threw it over to his table where one of the women grabbed it," Garner told 3AW.

"He went back to his seat, I got up to get my phone back – went over and asked [the accompanying woman] for it back. She handed it to me, and in the meantime Clarkson has stormed over and 'shirt-fronted' me – he's virtually put his chest up to mine," Garner said.

Garner said there was a tense stand-off between the pair, and told 3AW the pair were broken apart by Jacobson and one of Clarkson's staff members before both returning to their tables.

Garner said the alleged attack was extremely unexpected.

"We weren't intrusive. I didn't walk up to him – he was only a foot away," he said. "Shane Jacobson was trying to sort the issue out. He just kept on stating: 'You know, he's had a really bad day, you don't understand how bad it's been.'"

The amateur paparazzo said he was not alone in taking pictures.

"Other people in the restaurant had cameras out and were taking photos from distances as well," Garner said.

Garner said the situation was made harder to swallow due to the fact that he was a fan of the show, and that Clarkson did not apologise for his actions.

"We were still at the restaurant having our meal, and in the whole interval we were staying there he never came over and said: 'Look, I'm having a bit of a bad day, sorry about what happened.'

"He didn't apologise at all, which I thought was pretty unfair."

Clarkson and May are in Australia for the Top Gear Live tour.

A Top Gear Live spokesperson admitted there was a clamour in the restaurant, but said the problem didn't get out of hand.

"There was a situation where Jeremy and the rest of the cast's privacy was being invaded, but the situation was resolved amicably, and as it was a private event we don't wish to comment further," the spokesperson said.

It's not the first time the hot-headed host has let his temper get out of hand.

In 2004 Clarkson famously punched journalist and television personality Piers Morgan in front of a group of journalists after a series of photographs of Clarkson kissing his female boss were published.

http://theage.drive.com.au/motor-news/jere...amp;from=smh_ft

For the audio of it. I wish i was there

[Chyros]

Typically Clarkson . Gotta love the weird accent in that clip btw .

[deltaepsilon]

What a douchebag.

[Major Fuckup]

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/world/8225376/l...-smashes-up-car

Quote

A disgruntled Lamborghini owner hired a team of workers to smash his $300,000 car in Qingdao, in east China's Shandong province.

PHOTOS: Lamborghini owner destroys car

The businessman, who is an operator in the construction material market, paid mallet-wielding men to publicly destroy his second-hand Lamborghini Gallardo because he failed to get it to work properly.

The owner had several disputes with the auto company over maintenance issues after he claimed the engine was playing up, a month after he bought it.

The owner had reportedly taken the car to the dealer last November to have the engine malfunction fixed.

However, the garage failed to sort the problem and damaged the bumper and chassis in the process.

A crowd gathered to watch the luxury car being destroyed, which had been planned for World Consumer Rights Day.

Lamborghini is reportedly due to issue a statement regarding the incident.

Video of the smash-up spread like wildfire, causing the website which originally posted the footage to crash.

[Destiny]

Yeah I read this on our newspaper, it was hilarious

[Ion Cannon!]

They didn't really seem to smash it that well, give them sledgehammers next time.

[Ghostrider]

Ion Cannon!, on 17 Mar 2011, 21:16, said:

They didn't really seem to smash it that well, give them sledgehammers next time.

Yeah they're hitting it like girls, put some back into it!

[Chyros]

Quote

Controversy surrounding anti-gay app in App Store

Apple has allowed an app in the App Store that teaches users how homosexuals can be cured using the powers of Jesus.

The app has led to much controversy. An online petition has been started against Apple, which has been signed by almost 80.000 people. The Christian anti-gay organisation Exodus International is behind the app and Apple gave the app a rating of 4+ which means that no objectionable material was found in the app.

The app causes a lot of controversy because Apple is always very strict about which apps are allowed in the App Store. The house rules of Apple even state that "every app which is slanderous, insulting, narrow-minded or likely to hurt a person or group of people, shall be rejected." Regularly apps have been turned down for insulting Christians, for example.

Apple has yet to respond to the controversy.

Direct translation from a Dutch sauce - here is the App Store page in question.



Americans...

[Major Fuckup]

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/sydn...i-1226022076411

Quote

A Sydney schoolboy has become an internet sensation after video emerged of him body-slamming another student during a verbal and physical attack.

Striking back for bullying victims everywhere, the Year 10 boy - who pleaded with his tormenter to leave him alone - picked up his attacker and slammed him to the ground.

The teenager, said to have been bullied all his school life, was backed up against a wall, taunted and punched by a younger, smaller boy.

The victim, identified on Facebook as Casey Heynes, took a hit to the face and then more blows as the Year 7 boy goaded him to fight.

Suddenly Casey had had enough. He launched himself at his attacker, picked him up and threw him to the ground.

The younger boy staggered away, stunned and hurt.

Both students were suspended for four days after the incident on Monday.

Footage of the fight at Chifley College, Dunheved Campus at North St Marys, was posted online and drew hundreds of comments on Facebook - mostly in support of Casey.

Casey's father said yesterday his son had been the victim of bullying for several years and feared for his safety if he spoke about the fight.

"There'll be reprisals from other kids in the school and he still has to go to school somewhere," he said.

"He's not a violent kid, it's the first time he's lashed out and I don't want him to be victimised over that.

"He's always been taught never to hit. Apparently other people's parents don't teach their kids that."

Students said violence was a daily occurrence with fights often filmed and posted online.

"The fights I have seen here, it's horrible. It really makes me feel unsafe," one said. A classmate added: "People pick on him every single day, they hit him around and stuff, and he just got sick of it and let out the anger."

Online sympathisers have started a "Casey Heynes Anti Bullying Day".

A NSW Department of Education and Training spokeswoman said the school "does not tolerate any violence and deals with all cases according to its community-agreed discipline code".

"Both students in a fight at the school shown on the internet have been suspended ... the only injury sustained was a grazed knee."

I was like dam Casey went hulk hogan on the little turd FUCKING WIN!

[SquigPie]

Saw that vid online, FUCKING OWND THAT LITTLE ASSHOLE!

*ahem*

Excuse me. But it's good to see the massive support for Casey. 4chan Someone (probably Ebaums) apparently named him "fathero".

Anyway, letter from Anon to the highschool it took place on.

Quote

Hello Chifley College Dunheved Campus.

Today is a wonderous day indeed. Today is the day where /b/ will decide to slander your school
for slandering the weak and innocent, Casey Heynes, which as most of the world probably knows
by know is the prime candidate for /b/ to protect.

Know this, we will continue to slander your campus in public through internet protests and viral
spreading of the video to reflect on how you have mistreated our poor Casey Heynes in favor of the pathetic Ritchard
(seriously, who spells his name this way? Only the parents of a skinny, pathetic, Aussie bully).
Needless to say, we want you to remove and void Casey’s suspension and also give him a public apology
for slandering his act of self-defense. We also demand that Ritchard be reprimanded for his poor
choice of actions.

Note that Casey Heynes was severely outnumbered. Note that the cameraboy, as well as a group of taller
and larger boys were provoking this attack, urging pathetic Ritchard to continually harass and attack our convicted:
Casey Heynes. Not only has Casey Heynes been harassed for years and years, and when he finally stood up to protect himself,
something that has struck a soft spot in the Anonymous that have taken action, Casey Heynes was the one that was punished.

This is your last warning. Remove the suspension, give Casey an apology, and suspend Ritchard. If you do not
meet our demands, then we will continue to systematically harass your campus just as you did to Casey Heynes.

Oh, and a side note:
We want you to dress up in costumes of ham and parade around the city to teach you a lesson in punishing the innocent.

See here for more info on the incident.

Edited by SquigPie, 21 March 2011 - 12:06.

[Major Fuckup]

Btw
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/822689...he-was-provoked

Quote

Ritchard Gale, a year seven student at Chifley College Dunheved campus who taunted and punched year 10 student Casey Heynes, 15, before being body-slammed into the ground, said he was "sorry".

The two students shown in the clip filmed last Monday were suspended, but not before the video became an internet hit with the majority of people who watched it sympathetic to Casey's situation.

Ritchard told the Seven Network he was "pretty angry" at his schoolmate but claims he only sprung into action after being verbally provoked.

"He abused me first, he was like 'get to class' and calling me an idiot, all that kind of stuff. And I didn't like it," he said.

"That's what he's trying to say to make everyone stick up for him. It made me angry so I went down and hit him."

Ritchard, who at times broke down in tears during the interview, has admitted that he too was a victim of bullying during primary school, and that this past experience has affected him.

"I got bullied at primary school; always used to get teased. I just snap like that now. People used to say stuff... I just chase them, hit them and stuff."

When asked if he was sorry, Ritchard's initial answer was "no", but with some coaxing by his father Peter Gale who was sitting off-camera, he then changed his answer to "yes".

Ritchard explained that he wasn't really sorry because "he [Casey] started on me first".

But later, although he has not spoken with Casey to apologise, he says he is remorseful about the incident.

When asked if he will take part in bullying again, Ritchard replies: "Most probably not."

"Don't bully because you end up getting hurt bad."

What a pathetic attempt to turn it around.

[Ion Cannon!]

It's stupid isn't it. The same thing happened to me at school, I got bullied, nothing happened. I lashed out 2-3x and suddenly I'm the one in trouble / the bully. It's not like I used to be quick to anger either, it was a culmination of 3 years of abuse.

[Soul]

Ion Cannon!, on 22 Mar 2011, 11:20, said:

It's stupid isn't it. The same thing happened to me at school, I got bullied, nothing happened. I lashed out 2-3x and suddenly I'm the one in trouble / the bully. It's not like I used to be quick to anger either, it was a culmination of 3 years of abuse.

I feel ya bro :(.

[Destiny]

Heheh, I managed to endure bullying from since I was 10 or something, till this day. I know I'm capable of doing some really bad stuff if I suddenly explode and go WAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! But something keeps me passive and quiet that makes me kinda...forget about the bullying, I don't know what it is but am I thankful for it.

[Major Fuckup]

Soul, on 23 Mar 2011, 0:06, said:

Ion Cannon!, on 22 Mar 2011, 11:20, said:

It's stupid isn't it. The same thing happened to me at school, I got bullied, nothing happened. I lashed out 2-3x and suddenly I'm the one in trouble / the bully. It's not like I used to be quick to anger either, it was a culmination of 3 years of abuse.

I feel ya bro :(.

Yer same thing happened I got scalped in an unprovoked fight nothing happens and when i king hit the cunt who did that to me a week later when he was pushing my buttons i get suspended.

[Major Fuckup]

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/technology/8231...osphate-bonanza

Quote

A geologist who dug a simple hole for an outback dunny in the remote Northern Territory did not realise he would soon be sitting on a gold mine - of sorts.

Rum Jungle Resources is exploring for phosphate on a site near Barrow Creek, north of Alice Springs.

With up to 20 people joining the effort, it was time to dig a camp toilet.

Chief executive David Muller said a spot for the 20m drop dunny was chosen 24km away from the exploration grid.

So the geologist who dug the inconsequential hole was pretty surprised to spot nodules of phosphate under his feet.

"He kicks a few rocks around his feet and sure enough, it was phosphate," Mr Muller told AAP.

"It gives us a lot of heart that it's pretty widespread and wherever we drill, it's there."

Needless to say, the company is now broadening the parameters for its Ammaroo phosphate project.

You could say the shit hit the fan?

[deltaepsilon]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/artic...jectid=10717660

Quote

A Swedish couple's honeymoon struck disaster six times - with the couple witnessing floods in Australia, destruction in Japan and the earthquake in Christchurch.

During a four-month trip, newlyweds Stefan and Erika Svanstrom and their baby girl Elinor survived a snowstorm, a bush fire, a cyclone, the Queensland floods, the Christchurch earthquake and Japan's earthquake and tsunami.

[SquigPie]

Maybe the baby has some sort of curse following it?

[Kris]

Quote

Chicago school bans homemade lunches, the latest in national food fight
By Liz Goodwin


Students who attend Chicago's Little Village Academy public school get nothing but nutritional tough love during their lunch period each day. The students can either eat the cafeteria food--or go hungry. Only students with allergies are allowed to bring a homemade lunch to school, the Chicago Tribune reports.

"Nutrition wise, it is better for the children to eat at the school," principal Elsa Carmona told the paper of the years-old policy. "It's about ... the excellent quality food that they are able to serve (in the lunchroom). It's milk versus a Coke."

But students said they would rather bring their own lunch to school in the time-honored tradition of the brown paper bag. "They're afraid that we'll all bring in greasy food instead of healthy food and it won't be as good as what they give us at school," student Yesenia Gutierrez told the paper. "It's really lame."

The story has attracted hundreds of comments so far. One commenter, who says her children attend a different Chicago public school, writes, "I can accept if they want to ban soda, but to tell me I can't send a lunch with my child. ARE YOU KIDDING ME????"

Full article here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/yblog_thelookout/2...onal-food-fight

Edited by Kris, 27 February 2017 - 09:17.