1469 replies to this topic

[Alias]

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A man suspected of hiding inside the waste tank of a portable toilet at a yoga festival in the United States has been arrested on charges of unlawful sexual contact and invasion of privacy.

Luke Irvin Chrisco, 30, was arrested in the Colorado town of Vail, west of Boulder, after police there stopped his vehicle on reports of a man illegally begging in the area.

"An astute officer realised that he resembled the portable toilet suspect," Boulder police said on Friday (local time).

Boulder detectives were contacted, and after interviewing Chrisco, he was arrested for the portable toilet incident.

Police said the strange event occurred June 17 at the Hanuman Yoga Festival when a woman using the facility noticed movement inside the storage tank and asked a male bystander to investigate.

The man told police he saw someone inside the tank covered in a tarp.

A security guard waited outside the toilet for 10 minutes until a shirtless, barefoot man with numerous cuts on his back and legs emerged covered in feaces.

The guard tried unsuccessfully to apprehend him as he ran from the festival grounds.

Boulder police chief Mark Beckner said in a written statement that his department received a dozen tips on the suspect's identity.

Chrisco faces one count of unlawful sexual contact and one count of criminal invasion of privacy, both misdemeanours.

He is being held on a $US1,000 ($953) bond for the begging charge, and a $US1,500 bond for the alleged toilet offences.

http://www.abc.net.a.../25/3253427.htm

wat

[Destiny]

Waste tank, eh...he must've felt shitty.

[Major Fuckup]

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CARTOONS showing sex acts involving children modelled on characters from The Simpsons are pornographic, a NSW Supreme Court judge ruled today.

A man charged over cartoons showing sex acts involving children modelled on The Simpsons characters has failed to have his child pornography convictions overturned.

In the NSW Supreme Court on Monday, Justice Michael Adams ruled a fictional cartoon character was a "person" within the meaning of the relevant state and Commonwealth laws.

In February, Alan John McEwan was convicted in Parramatta Local Court of possessing child pornography and using his computer to access child pornography.

"The alleged pornography comprised a series of cartoons depicting figures modelled on members of the television animated series The Simpsons," the judge said.

The cartoons showed characters like Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson having sex.

The man was convicted and fined $3,000 and placed on a good behaviour bond.

"In my view, the magistrate was correct in determining that, in respect of both the Commonwealth and the NSW offences, the word 'person' included fictional or imaginary characters ...," the judge said.

"... the mere fact that the figure depicted departed from a realistic representation in some respects of a human being did not mean that such a figure was not a 'person'."

In dismissing the appeal, the judge ordered each party to pay its own legal costs as this was the first case dealing with this "difficult" issue.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/entertainment/...f-1111118254111

Old news but there are some weird people out there.

[SquigPie]

Major Fuckup, on 3 Jul 2011, 15:01, said:

Quote

CARTOONS showing sex acts involving children modelled on characters from The Simpsons are pornographic, a NSW Supreme Court judge ruled today.

A man charged over cartoons showing sex acts involving children modelled on The Simpsons characters has failed to have his child pornography convictions overturned.

In the NSW Supreme Court on Monday, Justice Michael Adams ruled a fictional cartoon character was a "person" within the meaning of the relevant state and Commonwealth laws.

In February, Alan John McEwan was convicted in Parramatta Local Court of possessing child pornography and using his computer to access child pornography.

"The alleged pornography comprised a series of cartoons depicting figures modelled on members of the television animated series The Simpsons," the judge said.

The cartoons showed characters like Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson having sex.

The man was convicted and fined $3,000 and placed on a good behaviour bond.

"In my view, the magistrate was correct in determining that, in respect of both the Commonwealth and the NSW offences, the word 'person' included fictional or imaginary characters ...," the judge said.

"... the mere fact that the figure depicted departed from a realistic representation in some respects of a human being did not mean that such a figure was not a 'person'."

In dismissing the appeal, the judge ordered each party to pay its own legal costs as this was the first case dealing with this "difficult" issue.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/entertainment/...f-1111118254111

Old news but there are some weird people out there.

Meh, I've seen worse.

Bart/Lisa porn is considered normal to some of the thing the internet is littered with.

Edited by SquigPie, 03 July 2011 - 14:55.

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

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A woman has been caught trying to sneak her common-law husband out of a Mexican prison in a suitcase following a conjugal visit.

A spokesman for police in the Caribbean state of Quintana Roo said staff at the prison in Chetumal noticed that the woman seemed nervous and was pulling a black, wheeled suitcase that looked bulky.

Spokesman Gerardo Campos said prison guards checked the bag of 19-year-old Maria del Mar Arjona and found inmate Juan Ramirez Tijerina curled up inside in the fetal position.

Ramirez is serving a 20-year sentence for a 2007 conviction for illegal weapons possession.

Arjona was arrested and charges are pending.

http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/news/wor...e-16019571.html

Edited by Bob, 05 July 2011 - 18:46.

[BeefJeRKy]

Lol read that earlier today. Apparently, that event isn't too unusual for a Mexican prison

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

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I know what you're thinking, "is that a video still of a fish in some kid's bladder?" And the answer, dear reader, is yes, yes it is.

The patient, who was admitted to hospital with complaints of pain, dribbling urine and acute urinary retention spanning a 24-hour period, gave an interesting explanation.

Details of the case, which was documented in The Internet Journal of Urology, have revealed that the patient claimed that the fish "slipped" into his penis while he was maintaining his aquarium.

"While he was cleaning the fish tank in his house, he was holding a fish in his hand and went to the toilet for passing urine. When he was passing urine, the fish slipped from his hand and entered his urethra and then he developed all these symptoms.

Riiiight. So the kid was holding a fish in his hand while pissing and it, like the noble salmon, swam up his urine stream and into the pecker. Sounds fishy if you ask me. Just admit it kid, you're a freak. And also, you should be banned from the pet store.

http://www.geekologie.com/2008/09/epic_fai...o_clean_you.php

[Chyros]

WHAT kind of penis does that kid have that he could get a WHOLE FISH up it?! Oo

[Libains]

Tiny salmon swimming in a stream...Tiny salmon chasing that impossible dream...

Also, experimental kid is experimental...

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

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A FEMALE visitor was locked in a prison toilet for 23 hours last month, Home minister Geoff Mahy (pictured) officially confirmed yesterday.

It is the first time the Home Department has publicly admitted the incident took place.

When the Guernsey Press made enquiries last month deputy chief officer Mark Lempriere would neither confirm nor deny the report – he would only say that an ‘incident’ was being looked into.

Now the minister has confirmed that the woman, whose identity has not been revealed, was trapped in the prison visitor’s toilet for nearly a day after visiting her prisoner husband. He blamed it on ‘human error’.

http://www.thisisguernsey.com/2011/07/27/p...r-almost-a-day/

[SquigPie]

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A WOMAN hit by devastating amnesia told yesterday how she went to bed as a mum aged 32 and woke thinking she was still 15.

Naomi Jacobs, of Manchester, recalled nothing after 1992, did not know she had a son and thought she was sitting her GCSEs.
She told yesterday how she SCREAMED when an unknown little boy appeared - and called her "Mum".
And stunned Naomi, who thought she was still at school, revealed she had the fright of her life when she looked in the mirror and saw a mature woman with wrinkles staring back.
Naomi thought she was about to sit her GCSE exams in 1992. In fact, she was living in 2008 - with NO recall of the intervening years. She said:



"I fell asleep as a bold, brassy, know-it-all 15-year-old - and woke up a 32-year-old single mum living in a council house.
The last thing I remember was falling asleep in my lower bunk bed, dreaming about a boy in my class.
When I woke up, this little boy appeared and started calling me 'Mum'. That's when I started to scream. I didn't know who he was. I didn't think he was much younger than me. And I certainly didn't remember giving birth to him.
I began sobbing uncontrollably. To say I was petrified was an understatement. I just wanted my mum. I couldn't get my head around going to bed one night and waking up in a different century."
Naomi, who lives in Manchester with 11-year-old son Leo, added: "In my mind, John Major was still the Prime Minister and the only President Bush I'd ever heard of was George Senior.
"Facebook, Google and YouTube sounded like they were completely made up. And the first time I saw Leo play on his Xbox and interact with the TV, I was so shocked I spat out my tea."
Naomi, now 35, was diagnosed as suffering from transient global amnesia - a form of acute memory loss brought on by stress.
When it struck she was struggling to cope with studying for a psychology degree at the same time as raising Leo and running her own homeopathy business.
The "episodic" part of her memory completely shut down, meaning she lost all emotional recollections.
But her "semantic" memory was still intact, meaning she could remember things she had repeated over time, like how to drive.
Helped by friends, relatives, journals and diaries she had kept, Naomi has spent the last three years piecing together her lost life - and getting to know Leo again.


She said: "At 15, I thought I would have conquered half the planet by the time I was 32.
"It was a massive shock to discover I was just an ordinary single mum driving a battered old Fiat.
"My best friend and sister had to take over all communication for me. I had no idea how to work my mobile phone and had no concept of email.
"For the first few months, I was desperately trying to make sense of who I was. At night I'd lie awake and cry, longing to be back at school, when all I had to worry about was the boys I had crushes on and getting caught drinking in the park.
"But slowly I started to get used to the world again."
Naomi, who has now finally regained a full memory, added: "It wasn't fun, like Michael J Fox in Back To The Future. I'd fallen asleep in a world of endless possibilities and woken up in a nightmare."

http://www.thesun.co...oolgirl-15.html

Of course, the source isn't entirely reliable.

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

Quote

An 80-year-old American woman who was enjoying a doughnut at her kitchen table was hit in the face by a stray arrow apparently shot by a neighbor honing his archery skills, police said on Wednesday.



The woman, great-grandmother Margaret Shofner, calmly pulled the arrow out of her jaw on Tuesday morning and put it on her table. She did not require hospitalization and wasn't sure at first what hit her.

"I pulled (the arrow) out and laid it on the table. That's when I realized what it was," said Shofner, who lives in the state of Missouri and told her story to a local television network.

"Who would have thought an arrow was going to come into your house and hit you," she added.

Her face was swollen and bruised but otherwise she was unharmed.

Police found nearby resident Robert Joiner, 26, still practicing his bow and arrow shots an hour after the incident. He was charged with second-degree assault and armed criminal action, police said.

They added that Joiner was practicing archery with a compound bow when the arrow apparently bounced off the hay bale he was aiming at and crashed through Shofner's window. He was released on $25,000 bail.

http://www.reuters.c...E76Q6QQ20110727

[TheDR]

Second-degree assault? What?

You might as well charge the hay bale as it caused all the damage.

[Chyros]

TheDR, on 30 July 2011 - 10:21, said:

Second-degree assault? What?

You might as well charge the hay bale as it caused all the damage.

Accidents don't exist in the US legal system - in fact he's lucky to get off without several billion in damages .

[Destiny]

Oi oi, it would break her teeth or puncture her cheek and cause a lot of damage, for an arrow of today's make unless she's a ninja and caught it with her teeth...




...or the arrow was made by Nerf or something.

[Ion Cannon!]

Destiny, on 30 July 2011 - 10:45, said:

Oi oi, it would break her teeth or puncture her cheek and cause a lot of damage, for an arrow of today's make unless she's a ninja and caught it with her teeth...




...or the arrow was made by Nerf or something.

But it didn't, she merely got a bruise. 25,000 dollars for causing a bruise, thats just dumb.

[Ion Cannon!]

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8118257.stm
hehe

[Chyros]

Ion Cannon!, on 02 August 2011 - 17:16, said:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8118257.stm
hehe

And Alice thought Wonderland was weird, obviously she never went to Aussie Land .

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

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Internet Explorer users have lower IQ says study

Internet Explorer users have a lower than average IQ, according to research by Consulting firm AptiQuant.

The study gave web surfers an IQ test, then plotted their scores against the browser they used.

IE surfers were found to have an average IQ lower than people using Chrome, Firefox and Safari. Users of Camino and Opera rated highest.

The report has sparked anger from IE supporters, who have threatened AptiQuant with legal action.

Researchers gave over 100,000 web surfers a free online IQ test. Scores were stored in a database along with each person's web browser data.

The results suggested that Internet Explorer surfers had an average IQ in the low eighties. Chrome, Firefox and Safari rated over 100, while minority browsers Opera and Camino had an "exceptionally higher" score of over 120.

AptiQuant stressed that using IE doesn't mean you have low intelligence. "What it really says is that if you have a low IQ then there are high chances that you use Internet Explorer," said AptiQuant CEO Leonard Howard.

The findings have been treated with scepticism by Professor David Spiegelhalter of Cambridge University's Statistical Laboratory: "They've got IE6 users with an IQ of around eighty. That's borderline deficient, marginally able to cope with the adult world.

"I believe these figures are implausibly low - and an insult to IE users."

However, Mr Howard said he didn't feel threatened by a lawsuit: "A win in a court would only give a stamp of approval and more credibility to our report."

http://www.bbc.co.uk...nology-14370878

It makes so much sense.

"They've got IE6 users with an IQ of around eighty. That's borderline deficient, marginally able to cope with the adult world."

That describes IE6 users, doesn't it?

EDIT:

Quote

Ten fingers. Ten toes. And another 14 tossed in for good measure. A one-year old boy in India is now a record holder as Guinness has recognized his 34 fingers and toes as the most belonging to anyone in the world.

This young man born with 34 fingers and toes set a Guinness World Record for most digits.
Akshat Saxena had seven fingers on each hand and 10 toes on each foot when he was born in India in 2010., a Guinness spokeswoman told The Huffington Post.
“I was so happy to see my baby as it was our first child,” his mother Amrita Saxena told NDTV. “But later, when I saw his fingers, I was shocked and surprised,” Doctors recently amputated the excess appendages in a series of surgeries and now Saxena has the typical five digits per limb, the Guinness spokeswoman said.
This prodigious polydactyl wasn’t born with thumbs, but doctors planned to create them with pieces of the extra fingers.

Click for a pic

Edited by Bob, 02 August 2011 - 20:10.

[Libains]

I love that survey, especialy considering I'm using Opera atm... Seriously though, if you have IE6 you are either borderline deficient, or scared shitless of computers and thus wouldn't have taken a test in fear that it may have physically damaged your hard drive in the process (this is a real life example of my neighbours who yesterday dismantled a computer due to fear that the (nonexistant) virus would physically damage their hardware) (and yes they run IE6).

[Libains]

Bob, on 02 August 2011 - 19:55, said:

Quote

Internet Explorer users have lower IQ says study

Internet Explorer users have a lower than average IQ, according to research by Consulting firm AptiQuant.

The study gave web surfers an IQ test, then plotted their scores against the browser they used.

IE surfers were found to have an average IQ lower than people using Chrome, Firefox and Safari. Users of Camino and Opera rated highest.

The report has sparked anger from IE supporters, who have threatened AptiQuant with legal action.

Researchers gave over 100,000 web surfers a free online IQ test. Scores were stored in a database along with each person's web browser data.

The results suggested that Internet Explorer surfers had an average IQ in the low eighties. Chrome, Firefox and Safari rated over 100, while minority browsers Opera and Camino had an "exceptionally higher" score of over 120.

AptiQuant stressed that using IE doesn't mean you have low intelligence. "What it really says is that if you have a low IQ then there are high chances that you use Internet Explorer," said AptiQuant CEO Leonard Howard.

The findings have been treated with scepticism by Professor David Spiegelhalter of Cambridge University's Statistical Laboratory: "They've got IE6 users with an IQ of around eighty. That's borderline deficient, marginally able to cope with the adult world.

"I believe these figures are implausibly low - and an insult to IE users."

However, Mr Howard said he didn't feel threatened by a lawsuit: "A win in a court would only give a stamp of approval and more credibility to our report."

http://www.bbc.co.uk...nology-14370878

It makes so much sense.

"They've got IE6 users with an IQ of around eighty. That's borderline deficient, marginally able to cope with the adult world."

That describes IE6 users, doesn't it?

EDIT:

Quote

Ten fingers. Ten toes. And another 14 tossed in for good measure. A one-year old boy in India is now a record holder as Guinness has recognized his 34 fingers and toes as the most belonging to anyone in the world.

This young man born with 34 fingers and toes set a Guinness World Record for most digits.
Akshat Saxena had seven fingers on each hand and 10 toes on each foot when he was born in India in 2010., a Guinness spokeswoman told The Huffington Post.
“I was so happy to see my baby as it was our first child,” his mother Amrita Saxena told NDTV. “But later, when I saw his fingers, I was shocked and surprised,” Doctors recently amputated the excess appendages in a series of surgeries and now Saxena has the typical five digits per limb, the Guinness spokeswoman said.
This prodigious polydactyl wasn’t born with thumbs, but doctors planned to create them with pieces of the extra fingers.

Click for a pic

http://www.bbc.co.uk...nology-14389430

One very elaborate host it appears. That said, still bloody funny

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

Aww; I guess it was too good to be true.

Regardless, IE6 users will still be marginally able to cope with the adult world in my books.

Edited by Bob, 03 August 2011 - 21:03.

[Ion Cannon!]

Heh, we all know it may as well be true

[Wizard]

Quote

A boy of 11 called a German police emergency line to complain of "forced labour" after his mother told him to help clean the home.
Police say the boy from Aachen, who has not been identified, spoke to an officer via the 110 number.
They say he complained: "I have to work all day long. I haven't any free time."
His mother told the officer the boy had kept threatening to call them, having repeatedly complained of having to do housework during the school holidays.
A transcript of the conversation, printed in local newspapers, revealed the officer asking the boy to describe the kind of "forced labour" he was doing.
The boy replied that he had to clean the home and terrace, it said.
Asked if he knew what forced labour was, the boy said he did, and the police officer asked to speak to his mother, who at that stage was standing next to him.
She explained he had called after being asked to pick up paper from the floor, adding: "He plays all day long and when told to tidy up what he's done, he calls it forced labour."

Lazy little Scheiße

http://www.bbc.co.uk...europe-14533749

[Krieger22]

http://au.ibtimes.co...r-way-photo.htm
Justin Bieber Street. Sounds like a place where I'd go hunting.
Also obligatory: