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CoLT, on 18 Apr 2007, 12:56, said:

That sends up a red flag for me. She seems a little too "free spirited", and I use that term loosely. Is this the same girl that asks you what you think about the guy she tells you about?


Regards,

Nuker

Yes, same girl. Not the same as the one I asked out though, no.

Wow...can you say "friends with benefits?" Damn. I don't think I'd touch that one, mate. Better off not getting too attached to her.

I kinda fit into the whole thing with Billy about liking a girl that you're really close friends with. Be careful with that. If y'all are too close, then they won't ever consider anything more than friendship (believe me). If she tells you or other people that you're "like a brother to me," than any romantic aspirations you may have for her may as well die a horribly violent death, because nobody wants to kiss/go out with/screw/marry their brother. So it breakes down to thus: it's good to be friends with girls you like, but not best friends or any extension thereof. If you don't like them romantically, then whatever dude, best friends FTW, but you don't want to be too close to a girl you like in a non-romantic way, or else they won't want to go out with you, no matter how amazing you are towards them.
Edited by LCPL Carrow, 18 April 2007 - 17:49.

Amen to that, it's so true.

Btw, to clear it all up a bit. The first girl I mentioned (Girl A) is the one I asked out and didn't get a reply from.
The 2nd is a good friend of mine (Girl B).
No confusion please

And err... I think I might actually 'like' my best friend's gf. OH God no.. I think I seriously do. Sometimes I see her and just go wow.... and stuff. I don't let it show though and well she's really open-minded and I've discussed this with her and concluded that I didn't anymore and she's cool with it. But now I'm thinking that I might actually like her now. Which is BAD cos she's my best friend's gf.

I know that feeling all too well mate. Not to make this sound rude or anything, but there's nothing that you can do about it. The only thing you could do is be there for her, should the time arise when she needs to talk to someone other than her boyfriend. The awesome part is, she's cool with it knowing that you like her.

I would hope I'm not going over any toes with this, but I think with her "being cool about it" gives her two kinds of confidence.

One would be that if things go sour with her current boyfriend, she knows there's another guy who likes her, and would go out with her. Two would be the "you can look but can't touch" theory where, even though she's taken and could quite possibly be incredibly happy with her man, she knows she's still sought after. Ego boosts, are a lop-sided euphoria though. She gets the boost, and the guy gets the shaft.

Also remember, you're not dead, so you can feel free to say that you like someone, even if they're taken. The one thing to keep in mind is that you can't act on that impulse. For a guy, that's hard, trust me.


Regards,

Nuker

P.S. CoLT, have you been able to contact the girl you were supposed to go out with?

I understand what you mean, Nuker, I just find it strange that I like her and that she's ok with that knowledge.

And no, sadly, I've tried txt messages, myspace messages (she goes there a lot), myspace comments (I havent said anything on them that would make it public that I've made a move tho). The last hope is that I meet her this weekend at the rehearsals and try and get a word in edgeways, i.e. talk to her, then.

i personnally did not read the whole topic caused by time problems but...
some girls are very strange XD i dont understand them...
3months ago I had a date with a girl it was one year younger than me... it was the first date ive ever had and tryied to be like im everytime... and im sure had the same behavioar like everytime...

we met us in a biiger cafe... we drink something together and had some smalltalk... ( by the way it was the first time we talked together... except of the normal talk on volleyball training)

after this date she did not talk with me... before the date she was on icq verytime... the time after the date she werent online since the date of my birthday... she said just happy birthday...

i really dont know why she dont talk to me... i write her some sms without a answer)... what a pity

PS: sorry for my bad english

MYLO
Edited by MYLO, 18 April 2007 - 18:36.

That hurts MYLO, I know. I've been through a gauntlet of my own, so I can understand some of the pain it must have caused you. Did you guys have a good time while you were out? I'm hoping so, and if you did everything in your power to make the night enjoyable, then you did everything you could, and the fault lies with her.

CoLT, the more you say that this girl doesn't answer or return any text messages tells me that she'd rather forget you were breathing the same oxygen. It sounds colder than it is, but in all actuality, she could just be avoiding you. I was hoping that this wouldn't happen, but from the sound of it, she sounds like the "Get their hopes up, then dash 'em on the rocks, if something comes up before we're supposed to meet find a scapegoat then ignore them" type of girl. This may not all be true, but that's just how it sounds.


Regards,

Nuker

LCPL Carrow, on 18 Apr 2007, 19:47, said:

I disagree.

CoLT, on 18 Apr 2007, 20:17, said:

I hope it works out for you. I'm with Nuker here that I don't think chances are high that she likes you a lot, but I hope it works out.

MYLO, on 18 Apr 2007, 20:35, said:

I'd like to refine this by saying that people can be quite strange. Boys and girls.

I hope things work out for you though.

Major Nuker, on 18 Apr 2007, 20:12, said:

I wonder why you find that all guys have that and no girls? (at least, if that is what you are implying.. otherwise you would have said it differently I think).

Gender barriers aren't as big as people make them out to be. The world isn't black and white, but full of grey shades (or colours). Just my thoughts.

I believe I should have been more clear. It was not to say that no girls have this "problem" so to speak, but in my experience, guys can be more impulsive than girls at times (and sometimes, the most inappropriate time). Yes, I do acknowledge that there are ladies out there that are impulsive, but what I was referring to is that CoLT shouldn't act on his first impulse for the girl he likes (who already has a boyfriend).


Regards,

Nuker

Ah that way, I see.

LCPL Carrow, on 18 Apr 2007, 19:47, said:

Sorry, but... what?

How can you be close together if you're not? Isn't being a good friend being more important than anything else in a relationship? *scratches his head*

*sigh*

I finally told that girl I liked that I liked her, and she likes me too! But I can't date her. Her religion forbids it.

Life is SUCH a bitch.

The hardest part of all this is getting the balls to talk to them IMO.

To explain to Codecat: If you are close like brothers, you aren't going to date your brother. If you are too good of a friend, the person will see you as a friend, always (unless you manage to break that tie). You may go to the movies with them and other friends, or just them. However, you aren't going to go much further than that. Of course, there is the odd one out that isn't like this, but hey, what can I say, the "friend zone" isn't always a happy place. The feelings must be mutual to go anywhere.

BillyChaka, on 18 Apr 2007, 16:58, said:

If it's not one thing, it's another. At least you know she likes you. What in her religion (if you don't mind me asking), prevents her from dating you? The fact that you're younger than her?


Regards,

Nuker

ya what religion is that O.o also she could renouse it if she wanted and no body could do anythign to her or that would voilate the right of freedom of religion

If a girl tries to flirt with you, avoid at all costs.

Major Nuker, on 18 Apr 2007, 19:48, said:

how do you figure that?

The impulse I'm referring to is "I gotta date her now!!" You may not have this one now (directed at the girl you like, yet she's already taken) so you may want to ignore that little bit.

Sorry for the confusion.


Regards,

Nuker

I really do think that this should me moved to the deep end...

I thank everyone for enlightening me with this information.

-Lord_Atlantis

Nuker, it's the "She's already taken" part that I was :wtf:ing at. I was saying, how do you figure that she is?

EDIT: And this was originally in the Deep End. It got moved out here.
Edited by CoLT, 19 April 2007 - 03:44.

It was? Hmmm, well I don't take a voyage into the Deep End very often, but I didn't know that.

-Lord_Atlantis

It was deemed unsuitable for the deep end. But now that it has flourished so... it really isnt suitable for anywhere BUT the deep end.

AllStarZ, on 18 Apr 2007, 21:07, said:

what a boy can but girl can't ?

also waht kind of flirtign are you talking about overflirting as in sexual overtones or normal flirting

becuase if its the first one neither a guy or girl you should go with becuase its ovious there after one thing