186 replies to this topic

[Overyou]

Impressive, not only does your poetry touch one's heart but also makes me somehow happy ( I could even say proud ) to understand English ^^

[Sgt. Nuker]

Good Day To Hurt

'Twas not you
who saw me walking
'Twas not I
that saw you stammer
In all of this
'twas not us who mattered
So I'll take a mile
and you send a smile
At the end of the day
the rain will still fall
Unless you run my mile
and I wear your smile
Today's an odd day
for sitting still

[CHRISTMAS PEDOBEAR]

nuker, you have a rare ability...you can put feelings into writing.

i have another...i understand it.

thank you

[Lord Atlantis]

This poem has mixed feelings behind it, its hard to grasp the emotion behind it.

[Dauth]

Fourteen lines and you capture love, time, pain, and you round off with patience.

It's a shame you only write when unhappy, I would love to see a poem with your mood elated.

[Ellipsis]

Quote

These pieces are top notch! *steals them for use in 3rd period English honors*

What he said!

[Sgt. Nuker]

Thank you all for your kind remarks. I don't know why specifically that I write what seems to be the most depressing of literature, but that's just how it turns out when I'm finished. I try to spin something jubilant and care-free, but it seems there is something sub-conscience that oils its way into my prose and verse. Whatever beauty mark I may try to give it, seems to have the opposite effect on its tone.

@Dauth: From the comment about my most recent work, I believe that's my best piece to date, simple as it may be. Thank you.


Regards,

Nuker

[E.V.E.]

And once again, another Writing wich makes me think about it for quite some Time.

Nicely written Nuker.



- E.V.E.

[Sgt. Nuker]

A Toast To The Inescapable

Wish me luck
as you watch me fall
Forever have these wordless taunts
and motionless actions
forbade a pleasant night's sleep

Living in a dream
and yet to some degree
a walking nightmare
have I been fed

Now as the music flows
and rocks me to parts unknown
I've balanced my conscience
and tipped the past
in favor of playing with the storm

You scribe words
on ironed out trees
but I paint my soul
on the world's playground
It's nothing black and blue
but negative space
and everything together

So here's to you
my truly inescapable

[Lord Atlantis]

For some unexplainable reason I feel as if I know what emotion you are letting out today. Its a deep poem, one that after reading several times keeps showing me new insight into what it paints. Very nice job.

[Dauth]

Performing the ultimate art, causing a thought, many many times over.

You can see this being read out to as the narration to a film. I don't quite know what film however.

[IPS]

wow even if I have to think a lot to undestand them exactly, the feelings are great!
realy realy great work man!

[Sgt. Nuker]

A Breath In D Minor

Don't mock the nonsense
just sing the chorus
Nobody likes hot air resonance
Walk (down) the line
and keep perfect time
a midnight jaunt
from a clock once chimed

Ribbon-tailed fantasy
meets purple-faced reality
Psycho-tripping analyst
Thinking of brown bags and apathy
Brown bags and apathy
(our) Apathy makes a stirred pot cold
A beggar's truth
will guide you home

[Wizard]

I have no idea why but I love the last two lines.

Quote

A beggar's truth
will guide you home

I can't say why but I find that line incredibly sublime.

*salutes* Major Nuker the Majestic Noter

Edited by Wizardofnoz, 10 November 2007 - 01:47.

[Dauth]

I have to concur with Wizard here, the lsat two lines add more to the poem than you would be inclined to think, especially when you read it for a second and third time.

[Sgt. Nuker]

Thanks gents .

In a bit of rare inspiration, I've come up with one more poem. 'Twas not intended, but the idea flickered long enough for me to take hold.

Dismantled Vision

These words you've thrown at me
have drawn black lines
These stains I've sown
have painted black souls
and now these words I script
have tainted my eyes shut

(live in constant dream)

.......Come quickly.....
....my immortal

[Z_mann]

You truly have talent for poetry, Nuker. I'm still trying to figure out all the metaphors. Brilliant, just brilliant.

Did you try publishing any of this? I believe it would be very well accepted.

[Lord Atlantis]

I believe he said somewhere that he hasn't published his work, and I don't know if he will ever publish any of his work.

But your newest poem... I really don't exactly know what feeling its trying to bring across. But all I know is that it has something to it... something that at the moment I can't see.

[Nid]

Have youever thought of lyric writing for songs?
Like you have a nack for these verses, and they would be really good meaningful stuff in songs as well.
If you can play an instrument and sing at the same time, I'd pay to watch you

[Sgt. Nuker]

I can't play an instrument, and believe me when I say this, you don't want to hear me sing . What you see here is the extent of my talent. The verses are influenced by the bands I listen to. Bands like Project 86, MewithoutYou, and Tourniquet, who aren't afraid to use high dollar words in their lyrics.

This is not to say that I don't have a general sound of a song playing in my head when I write. Some of my poems may look complete, but because they aren't put to music, I just feel they're a little unfinished.

@Nidmeister: If you want to use one of my poems for a song, go ahead. Just let me know which one, or I can even suggest one to you. If you do use one, please give me due credit.

@Z Mann: I have thought of publishing some of my works, but I haven't as of yet. To be very honest, I wouldn't know where to start or who to go to, to even get them noticed to get published.

Thanks everyone for your comments. Your kind words are what keep me posting my heartfelt verses.


Kind regards,

Nuker

[Dauth]

Just had a chat with my gf about publishing things since she's looked into it.

She has the older version of this book http://www.amazon.com/Writers-Artists-Year...3970&sr=8-1 and it may be of use to you, also try to reference section at your local library, that may show some good ideas.

[Z_mann]

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This is not to say that I don't have a general sound of a song playing in my head when I write. Some of my poems may look complete, but because they aren't put to music, I just feel they're a little unfinished.

I believe an artist's work is never truly finished. There is always that little gap to match perfection; at least, such is the case with me and my (few) works.
BTW Music is my main inspiration too

Quote

To be very honest, I wouldn't know where to start or who to go to, to even get them noticed to get published.

Try and get in touch with other young, unexperienced artists. I have a friend who is getting her first novel published by the end of the year. I can talk to her if you would like to.

EDIT: Typo-mania

Edited by Z_mann, 11 November 2007 - 11:59.

[Nid]

 Major Nuker, on 10 Nov 2007, 21:36, said:

@Nidmeister: If you want to use one of my poems for a song, go ahead. Just let me know which one, or I can even suggest one to you. If you do use one, please give me due credit.

Ahh, I couldn't do that, I don't like the idea of artists not using their own material. It would be hypocritical of me to take any of your writings.
no offense intended, I'd much prefer to use my own material, it gives me a sense of, not exactly honour but whole credit on completion of a song.

[Sgt. Nuker]

Another Lucid Thought

A voice
A voice
The tiny little voice
sings in my head
Tells me things to think
and whether I may weep
for the spilt milk
upon her head

Today
Today
the mind it plays tricks
pick up sticks
and walk away
Come again
another day

Just go wandering
just head home
Which way to go
with everywhere to head
So many ways to turn
where the blacktop ends

Always forget
Never remember
Always remember
Never forget
'tis reversed etiquette
and required reflex

[Dauth]

I first read this poem while listenign to One by Metallica, and it would seem the two are linked in content.

It's a shame to read of someone trapped in their own head, it would seem you have a lot on your mind.