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Angels Remembered


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#1 kanan

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Posted 12 March 2008 - 02:12

Angels remembered

There's a place in far off distant space…
Beyond the stars and the emptiness of the void...
It's a place where I wanted to go to for so many years...
In that somewhere someone waits for me...
Waiting so patiently in the silence of eternity...
I longed to go there...
I tried to get there so many times...
Now I see what I couldn't before...
I will never get there by throwing away what I have here...
Maybe the only way I will reach that place is by staying here for as long as I can...
Giving my best...
Every day...
Loving with my whole heart...
Till my last breath...
There's a longing and a wish...
For things to be other than the way they are...
Perhaps there’s a reason why...
Some people have to die...
Perhaps they could only stay...
For the time they had...
If that’s true it makes the time they spent here all the more special...
I'm grateful for the time I shared with you...
It was an honour to walk with you on your journey...


We were destined to meet...
Not fated to be together forever...
I never told you how I felt...
Then you left...
All I have is what you gave me...
Wonderful memories...
I'll remember forever...
Special moments...
I'll never forget...
And an idea of something...
Something divine...
I knew it once with you…
I just wasn't able to put words around it...
Until now...
However long it takes...
To reach you...
It may seem like forever...
Until I find you...
I know what I will say...
When I see you...
In that place, in far off distant space...
Where Angels linger...


Kanan Aynkaran Nallainathan

Edited by kanan, 12 March 2008 - 02:13.

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#2 Sgt. Nuker

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Posted 12 March 2008 - 02:57

Losing someone is always tough. I lost my grandfather, this past summer. Your poem reminds me of what I read at his funeral. Filled with little special memories that only a grandfather could give his grandson. I see that same pattern here. Someone very near and dear to your heart, whom you loved to death (and still do), touched your life in that special way only they could have. There is/was a pain there, perhaps it's healed or has at least started to heal.

Excellent poem mate. Those we write from the depths of our hearts and souls have a certain mystique about them that pulls on the heartstrings. You don't have to know what person or thing the poem describes, all you have to do is open the doors to your heart to feel what the author does.


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#3 CoLT

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Posted 13 March 2008 - 04:37

View PostMajor Nuker, on 12 Mar 2008, 11:57, said:

Losing someone is always tough. I lost my grandfather, this past summer. Your poem reminds me of what I read at his funeral. Filled with little special memories that only a grandfather could give his grandson. I see that same pattern here. Someone very near and dear to your heart, whom you loved to death (and still do), touched your life in that special way only they could have. There is/was a pain there, perhaps it's healed or has at least started to heal.

Excellent poem mate. Those we write from the depths of our hearts and souls have a certain mystique about them that pulls on the heartstrings. You don't have to know what person or thing the poem describes, all you have to do is open the doors to your heart to feel what the author does.


Best regards,

Nuker


QFT.

That right there is truly why people like us write at all. Wouldn't you agree?
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#4 kanan

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Posted 15 March 2008 - 04:49

yes out of the torment and the anguish the words come easily from the deepest and darkest place. one that i hide so well from the people that know me but i betray myself with my writing.

the following is something i wrote back in 2003 just before christmas. i tried to commit suicide around that time. not the first time i tried.

I'm finding it so hard, to go one without you.
The days go on and on taking me away from you.
The day you left, the day I lost you.
Was the hardest day of my life.
I wanted you to be my wife.
Wanted to share this life with you.
Never had the chance to give you that ring.
Never asked you to marry me, I never got to see the look in your eyes, as you heard me say those words now left unsaid.
All the moments I shared with you, are frozen in time.
All the times I held you so close, kissed you slow and gentle.
Walked with you in the park, your arm around my waist, your head on my shoulder.
Laying with you on the sofa laughing and talking, smiling and joking.
I can't go on without you. I miss you so much.
Your touch, your smile, your lasting embrace.
Your cute laugh and the way you looked at me when you told me you loved me.
I'm so lost without you. I'm so sad since you went away.
I can't go on like this. I cant find the strength to keep fighting.
There's no meaning in my life without you.
There's nothing left to fight for.
Forgive me baby for doing this.
It's the only thing I can do.
I want to go to you.
I want to see you again.
Hold you and never ever let you go.



this is something i wrote for kitsumi. my first love.

Lost Dreams


In the blackest night all alone, when I just sit and listen. I hear your voice just echoing requiems of a blue world, which drifts silent now without you. You sang in the night of so many sorrowful stories, only a wayfarer knows of the pain I feel without you. Nostalgic images show me again what came before.

I know of a wish so choked in tears, can never hope to come to pass. Only as a dream will it remain forever perfect, utterly flawless.
And though the thought of you brings me to tears.
I must say farewell.
I must say goodbye.

Though I know nothing stays the same.
And all I know comes back to haunt me still.
In the blackest night all alone, when I just sit and listen. I hear your voice echoing requiems of a blue world, which drifts silent now without you.
Only a wayfarer knows of the loneliness I feel without you.
And of those nostalgic images that show me again what came before. They bring me close to tears for I remember you as I always will.

I listen for your voice.
I stay there awhile and listen for your voice.
But now I know I will no longer hear your melodious song.
So may you stay here forever in my memory.
And of this journey on and on, with no end in sight. I must go on.
So I say farewell.
And I say goodbye.

But know this my love for you is without end, just like the sky overhead.
My intentions like steel hot as fire.
I know of a wish so choked in tears of sadness and regret, can never hope to come to pass.
Alas only as a dream will it remain, forever perfect, utterly flawless, unchanging in time.
So I say farewell with bitter regrets.
And I say goodbye with a heavy heart.

And here on this darkest night, I think the woman who I fell in love with all those years ago.
And though I know nothing stays the same.
I still sit here on the coldest of nights and hope to hear your voice call out to me again.
A sadness fills my heart for I know it will never come to pass like that wish so choked with tears. For now all I hear is whispers on the wind.

And though I wish I could have stayed here forever on this cold dark night all alone, without you. Listening for your voice. I know I must go on without you, on this journey on and on.
Know this my love for you is like the sky without end.
My intentions like steel, hot as fire.
So I say farewell, though I will never forget you.
And I say goodbye, for I know I will always miss you.

Edited by kanan, 01 November 2008 - 02:30.

k-9 the truth is out there

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Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#5 Crazykenny

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Posted 15 March 2008 - 11:34

Very nice poem mate, I absolutely love it :tard:
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#6 kanan

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Posted 16 March 2008 - 01:24

thanks Crazykenny for taking the time to read my writing. i really appreciate the comment. ~smiles~
k-9 the truth is out there

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Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#7 kanan

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 11:17

heres some more of my writing written around 2005.



Whisper "I love you"

Whisper, "I love you" in my ear, help melt away my sadness
and all of my fears. Give me your strength, your courage,
give me your all, be my foundation if I should love.
I'm like a leaf in the wind being blown everywhere.
My heart I wear on my sleeve always ready to give...
My soul to you I give freely. My words flow easily,
my lips, mouth, what my heart feels.
I love you...I need you...Always near me, to comfort me,
to shelter my heart. Encompass me with all that you are
and all that I need. Smother me with the warmth of your
words. Whisper, "I love you" to my soul...



Angel

We were walking and talking, laughing and joking.

Later sitting next to you, your arms around my waist, your head on my shoulder.

Just living in the moment...yeah.

Feeling so alive...yeah.

It's a feeling that I never want to end.

you and me baby...forever.

I love you true

I will always be here with you.

No goodbyes.

No farewells.

Always together, every day together.

Forever you and me.

Sitting there with you under that tree.

Talking with you,

Feeling the warmth of your body next to me.

Seeing the look in your eyes,

As I looked at you and said,

I love you...I always will.

Seeing you smile, oh my god...

How happy you made me feel.

I love you...I always will.

That moment is forever...

Yours and mine...

Forever...

Always and forever...





forever

I love you maybe more than you know...

I will love you till the stars wink out...

I will love you till the world slows...

I will love you till time runs still...

I will love you till the universe itself ceases its endless dance and darkness consumes all things...

I will love you still...

You are always close to my heart...

You are never far from my thoughts...

I love you always and forever...


thank you

Edited by kanan, 07 April 2008 - 11:19.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#8 Sgt. Nuker

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Posted 07 April 2008 - 16:39

Almost too painful to read, almost. Maybe it's different for me, because I'm not the one behind the keyboard striking the keys to write the poems that express one's innermost feelings. Instead I'm the one reading them, taking it all in. Taking in feelings that are already there and are cramped for space as it is. To say the words are touching is an understatement.
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#9 CoLT

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Posted 08 April 2008 - 02:56

The last one is amazing. It reminds me a lot about someone I'm apart from right now. I wrote something quite similar to her and the words "forever and always" I said to her ring in my ears when I read the lines of it.
It really brings back memories of much better times I miss.
Even though, physically, we are within reach of each other, the distance between could stretch this world over.

But the lines of your poem brought me back to a time many months ago where we were just like in your poem. Where we could stand and hold each other and just get lost in the moment and nothing else seemed to matter.

I never thought I'd read the same words that I thought in a poem written by another's hand. It really amazes me.

Keep writing, Kanan. You're gifted. :P
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#10 kanan

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Posted 08 April 2008 - 18:12

thanks Major Nuker. in spite of there being pain there i wouldnt trade the happiness i felt back then for anything. the thing with real love is that it goes hand in hand with the pain. you cant love someone without feeling pain somewhere down the line. after all even if two people love each other a great deal, loss is inevitable and following loss comes pain.

hey CoLT, all i can say is this, you still think about her alot and you still care about her a great deal so maybe you should make a move towards her even if that is only in the form of an email or a telephone call. dont let her slip out of your life. if you dont try youll never know what might have been and years later youll wish you had taken a chance when you could have done.

im glad my poem made you remember happier times. remember though you can still have times like those again. dont give up just yet as theres always time to make things right.

i really appreciate what you said. i just write. the words come easily. and to be able to share my work and maybe bring a smile to other people is a great achievement for me. i wont stop writing. thank you again for the kind words CoLT.

peace
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For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#11 kanan

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Posted 08 April 2008 - 19:45

i just finished this. its called "faith"

It seems for so long that I have walked down this road. Only to find that I came this far with out you by my side. Till this moment when you came into my life and after that everything fell into place. I was too weak to stand on my own two feet, the strength had left me. But now I can fly again for all that I needed was you.

For you and the love you bring is the all the breath I need to live and these wings you gave back to me help me reach those stars I see so clearly now.

So take my hand .Let that pain fall away like rain. Look up to those stars with me. Look how bright they shine. Can you see there is a future there waiting there for you and me? It's written up there in those stars so bright and clear for all eternity.

So don't leave me now, let me show you how complete our lives can be together. Apart were so weak and lost, together were strong and free.

We both lost people along the way but the hardest thing is to find the strength within to go on everyday. There is a space that lies deep in our hearts and for so long it was empty and the pain was so real. Now maybe I can fill that space in your heart and you can fill that empty space in mine.

2 people sharing one complete life.

thank you

Edited by kanan, 08 April 2008 - 19:47.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#12 CoLT

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Posted 09 April 2008 - 02:57

View Postkanan, on 9 Apr 2008, 2:12, said:

thanks Major Nuker. in spite of there being pain there i wouldnt trade the happiness i felt back then for anything. the thing with real love is that it goes hand in hand with the pain. you cant love someone without feeling pain somewhere down the line. after all even if two people love each other a great deal, loss is inevitable and following loss comes pain.


QFT
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View Postkanan, on 9 Apr 2008, 2:12, said:

hey CoLT, all i can say is this, you still think about her alot and you still care about her a great deal so maybe you should make a move towards her even if that is only in the form of an email or a telephone call. dont let her slip out of your life. if you dont try youll never know what might have been and years later youll wish you had taken a chance when you could have done.

im glad my poem made you remember happier times. remember though you can still have times like those again. dont give up just yet as theres always time to make things right.

i really appreciate what you said. i just write. the words come easily. and to be able to share my work and maybe bring a smile to other people is a great achievement for me. i wont stop writing. thank you again for the kind words CoLT.

peace


I suppose you may be right. I don't want to lose her completely but right now, I don't know if it'd be right to act... yet. I will try and make contact again soon tho. :locky:



Quote

It seems for so long that I have walked down this road. Only to find that I came this far with out you by my side. Till this moment when you came into my life and after that everything fell into place. I was too weak to stand on my own two feet, the strength had left me. But now I can fly again for all that I needed was you.

For you and the love you bring is the all the breath I need to live and these wings you gave back to me help me reach those stars I see so clearly now.

So take my hand .Let that pain fall away like rain. Look up to those stars with me. Look how bright they shine. Can you see there is a future there waiting there for you and me? It's written up there in those stars so bright and clear for all eternity.

So don't leave me now, let me show you how complete our lives can be together. Apart were so weak and lost, together were strong and free.

We both lost people along the way but the hardest thing is to find the strength within to go on everyday. There is a space that lies deep in our hearts and for so long it was empty and the pain was so real. Now maybe I can fill that space in your heart and you can fill that empty space in mine.

2 people sharing one complete life.


This new one is a lil strange to me. I'm not picking up on a rhythm as much as I did in the others. However, it sounds very hopeful and optimistic about going into a new relationship. I have a friend who I might recommend a read to. He's quite pessimistic about going into a new relationship for fear of pain...
Keep up the good work, kanan. You make me want to update my writings thread. ;)
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#13 kanan

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Posted 09 April 2008 - 04:44

hey CoLT, thanks for the comment man, i really appreciate it. and im not gonna say im right but it felt right to give you that advice. if theres some small chance that something could be rescued then you gotta take a risk.

i say this to people sometimes, "life without risk is merely existence" and it really is true. dont assume that the girl will not want to talk to you or respond. you had something great with her for awhile. maybe she still thinks about those times as much as you do but feels that theyre out of reach. maybe shes waiting for you to get back in contact with her. you wont know if you dont take a chance.

dont leave it too long. if you can email her it might be better to do so than to make a call as in an email you can express yourself more and shell always have it. girls often go back and re-read emails from guys they care about alot.

as to the new bit of writing its quite fragmented and to be honest i just wanted to get the words down before i forgot them. i was listening to a song on someones myspace profile and i just kept playing the song over and over. it inspired me to write this next piece of writing.
i am not classically trained as a writer so i dont know exactly how to write poetry and songs ect. i just write from my heart and figure out everything else after i get all the ideas typed but often i wont change what ive written. it seems to come out well first time around.

all the stuff i wrote on this thread were first drafts. that last one i will change but i dont know whether its going to be a song or a poem and youre right it hasnt got a real flow or rythmn like the others yet. give me a few days and ill see what i can come up with. i seem to do my best work around 3AM lol anyways i just finished this.

its called sail away with me.

If I had never met you, I would have died so alone.
If I had never met you, I would have never heard those Angels calling out my name.

Without you I have no purpose, I'm so lost. Without you I'm just a ghost.
But now you're here. I am alive again.

And don't be surprised if you feel so alive, hold on tight my dear and we will sail away from here.

And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
To have you here, near me, constantly by my side.

We will leave behind all the bad things that chased us for so long.
We will leave them so far in the past and start a new life in a land where there is no pain.
A land where we are whole again.

And don't be surprised if you feel so alive, hold on tight my dear and we will sail away from here.

And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
To have you here, near me, constantly by my side.

We have a future now full of hope and promise.
We have all the answers now to the questions we had our whole lives.
All you got to do is trust me this time, I won't fail you now.

And don't be surprised if you feel so alive, hold on tight my dear and we will sail away from here.

And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
To have you here, near me, constantly by my side.

Look up to the sky. Do you see it's so blue and clear?
We rode out the storms, we're nearly there my dear.
I asked you to trust me. I knew we'd make it one day.

And don't be surprised if you feel so alive, hold on tight my dear we will sail away from here.

And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
And I guess this, is what it feels like to be alive.
To have you here, near me, constantly by my side.

I'm glad you're here, I'm glad you're with me. Always near.
The tears roll down my face when I see you smile at me that way.
When you say those three words to me. Oh how happy you make me feel.
I told you we'd make it and now we're here. This is our heaven.

thank you

Edited by kanan, 08 December 2008 - 20:50.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#14 CoLT

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Posted 09 April 2008 - 08:04

Sail away is just beautiful.

And also, glad to see a fellow myspacer here. ;) PM me for an add :)
What song was it that you got your inspiration from?
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#15 kanan

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Posted 09 April 2008 - 08:18

hey CoLT im glad you liked "sail away with me" so much. i put alot of my soul into it when i was writing early this morning. the next thing im going to do it write the next bit in the "story of natalie" sequence.

yah im on myspace and to be honest i prefer it to facebook which i find annoying what with all the notifications i get on there that i have to approve. i actually hate signing into facebook lol. i have no idea about the song as it was playing on someones myspace yet they didnt have the music player visable so its a bit of a mystery.

oh and thanks to you im on Last.fm. cheers for that anyways speak to you soon and PM for my email ok?
k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#16 CoLT

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Posted 09 April 2008 - 09:08

Oh good, I've been looking forward to where that story is going to go. ;)

Yeah I also find facebook too complicated and annoying. :)


Oh and glad you like Last.fm
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#17 kanan

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:05

i just wrote this. tonight i was feeling really low. and this heart of mine is all twisted up inside.



I look back at where we used to be. I see you with me. I smile in spite of the tears for I see us together, happy, carefree.
Back then I would have never thought it could have ever ended. You had me. I had you. We were both living one life, together.
That was the thing. Hours every night on the phone. All those stolen moments we shared linger in the mind. All those times we spent together.
That time in the car park in the pouring rain. We were just sitting on the concrete talking, laughing and joking.
You had your arm around my waist and I had just brushed your hair from your face.
Wow, your smile always made my heart skip a beat.

I can look now and see us back then. I wish it never ended. I wish it could be like that again.
I should really take your picture down from my wall. Fight the temptation to call you every day. Stop reading all the letters you sent me.
Put it all in the past. You live your life. I live mine. Maybe someday we can meet again.
Talk about life since then. Tell each other of all the adventures we had and all the great things we did. Right now it has to be goodbye.
But I hope ill see you again before I die.

thanks

Edited by kanan, 17 April 2008 - 22:50.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#18 Dauth

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:35

Would you space it out, or is it designed to be a large chunk of text? It does make reading harder.

#19 kanan

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:42

done, does that look a bit better?
k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#20 Dauth

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:49

Much better, perhaps you could rebunch it together a bit almost like two stanzas of a poem. If I may suggest

Quote

I look back at where we used to be. I see you with me. I smile in spite of the tears for I see us together, happy, carefree.
Back then I would have never thought it could have ever ended. You had me. I had you. We were both living one life, together.
That was the thing. Hours every night on the phone. All those stolen moments we shared linger in the mind. All those times we spent together.
That time in the car park in the pouring rain. We were just sitting on the concrete talking, laughing and joking.
You had your arm around my waist and I had just brushed your hair from your face.
Wow, your smile always made my heart skip a beat.

I can look now and see us back then. I wish it never ended. I wish it could be like that again.
I should really take your picture down from my wall. Fight the temptation to call you every day. Stop reading all the letters you sent me.
Put it all in the past. You live your life. I live mine. Maybe someday we can meet again.
Talk about life since then. Tell each other of all the adventures we had and all the great things we did. Right now it has to be goodbye.
But I hope ill see you again before I die.


Since the first part is a lead up, and the second is how you feel now.

#21 kanan

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:50

thanks Dauth. i like your suggestion. it reads alot better now. so did you like it???
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Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#22 Jok3r

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:51

Damnit Kanan, you have some great work here. I'm not sure how I managed to miss it. As many others have said, its clear you're writing from the heart here. Theres some deep stuff here, and, frankly, its really good. I don't know what to say, tbqh. I really have to update my writing section.
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#23 Dauth

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:53

It is an excellent piece of work, sort of a webcam, poetry is a window to one's soul over the internet, guess that's why I don't write any.

#24 Sgt. Nuker

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 22:54

And so from the bowels of the deepest, dark, the despair runneth over my cup. Your soul is seemingly being tortured, yet your hands are free to write what the intangible body experiences. So free must these words flow (and I say this because I once felt the pain of love lost so vividly). I can't really say if the prose that lay before me is good or bad, for you see to read of someone going through a field of pain is not something to be proud to say you've read it and done nothing. On the other hand the way you've spun the torment of your soul is an artful rendering of the twists and turns you've stumbled over.

My hat is checked and my posture is bowed.
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#25 Camille

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 23:03

those writings are very nice Kanan. they sound very proffesional and it seems like you put a great deal of feeling in there. i will definitely check this forum more often.
it's time to wake up



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