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Angels Remembered


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#26 kanan

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Posted 17 April 2008 - 23:22

The Swimmer, thanks for taking the time to read my writings. im glad you liked what you read. make sure you do update your writings thread as i will be checking it for updates ~smiles~

thanks Dauth. i really appreciate the comment and the fact you took the time to help make what i posted better. thanks man it helped alot. ~high fives you~

and Major Nuker, ~bows to you~ i thank you kind sir. your words are eloquent and sincere as always and greatly appreciated. there is pain there but thats what gives the joy greater meaning. and in a way that joy is defined by the pain. after all without pain how do we really know what joy is?

thank you ka1000 for taking a moment to read what i posted here. i didnt study english beyond college level but it really makes me smile when you call my work professional. thank you. and yes there is alot of feeling there. some of my best work is infused with alot of emotion and depth of feeling. i guess words created from the heart speak loudest.

Edited by kanan, 17 April 2008 - 23:24.

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#27 kanan

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 00:09

i just finished writing this. its dedicated to Kitsumi. i will always miss you, thank you for those moments, the moments we shared. with the fondest of hearts and the greatest gratitude. and in my weakest moments i feel you reach out to me and keep me going when i have no strength left...

Stepping Back Into The Shadows

You left me but I know it’s not what you wanted. You were stolen from me all those years ago. I had the chance to say four words to you that could have changed that final outcome. Please stay, don’t go. That’s all I needed to say and who knows what could have been. All I know is what was.

You lay in my arms the night before your flight. I never knew you to cry as much as you did that night. I know you didn’t want to leave but I was thinking of you when I said that I’d be right here when you finished your placement a year from now. I said I’d wait right here for you.

You worked so hard to get where you were, I didn’t want you to throw it all away for me. So eventually your tears grew less and I saw a brave smile on your face again. You lay on my chest asleep as I pondered to myself that it’d be a whole year till I’d see you again. I awoke the next morning to find you had gone.

You left with out saying goodbye. I found your note on the fridge. I waited for your call from the airport. We spoke till they called your flight. In my heart I knew I’d see you again. How was I to know I’d have to wait a whole lifetime till that moment. 2 days after your flight landed you were driving back home. It was a bad storm and they said the flyover’s barrier was weakened.

I wish I could have been in your car that night. When it went over and hit the road below. I wish sometimes in my weakest moments I could have been with you so you weren’t alone. That’s what hurts me the most. You were all alone, and I know how long those seconds would have stretched out into eternity.

I’m sorry I wasn’t with you at the end. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you. You never heard me say those three simple words. But I hope you felt it everyday. Those days we were together. 11 months of perfection I'll always remember. I’ll never regret the day I met you, you changed my life 13 years ago…

thank you
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For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#28 Sgt. Nuker

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 00:18

Every word is a pluck of my heartstrings, for inside of you beats the broken pieces of a love lost forever. A piece of me dies each time I read the tragedy of love being stricken from your sight. A constant in your writing that gives it your flavor, your personal touch (though some of us can identify). A constant in your writing that begs to remind us that life isn't cheery-eyed sunrises and lullaby moons.

My hat is forever doffed toward you.
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#29 kanan

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Posted 18 April 2008 - 01:03

i just finished this. its called you & what you do for me.

Sometimes I feel so weak. The strength has left me completely and it feels like I'm laying in a desert dying thousands of miles from anyone that could help me. Then from somewhere I feel the strength flow into me from outside and a voice in my mind says over and over again, "don't give up now, keep on fighting."

I can stand and I start to walk along this long and winding road once again. I can lookup into that night sky and see the stars shining oh so bright. I think to myself how beautiful they look. I feel you. I know you're near. I know you're right here.

You always find a way to reach out your hand to mine and grip it tightly. And though I can't feel your hand in mine, I sense a slight pressure, it's not empty air there.

Sometimes I go to the church after midnight. I stand in the cemetery among the dead and sleeping angels. And on one of those nights I looked up into that night sky and I ask God, "why?" A wind picks up and shakes the tree, and in that place and at that time I say,

"i'm sorry for what happened," "I still miss you so much," "I wish you were here," and as a tear wells in my eye but before it hits the ground I have my answer, for in my heart I know this truth.

You never left me. And over the years those times when even luck had run out and I should have died I still made it through and that my dear is thanks to you. "thank you for always being there," "I love you, I always will."

Edited by kanan, 18 April 2008 - 01:06.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#30 Jok3r

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 03:41

Simply put, Kanan, you just keep blowing me away with this. Such smooth, pure prose. I don't know how to comment...
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#31 kanan

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 06:03

thanks The Swimmer for the kind words. i write because i am able to and also because i want to share my thoughts with the world. and if something i can say can reach out to someone then i feel i am doing something worthwhile. i was with a friend tonight and he was sitting across from me with his laptop, we cracked open a good bottle of red wine and we have been talking and generally having the best time. like always. the last half an hour my thoughts strayed to kitsumi and out of those feelings came this.

if i could give this next piece a title then i dont know, maybe "lost reverie" fits it best.


I'm lost but I'm not alone. I'm drifting but I'm not afraid. There's a voice in my soul that always speaks to me. It comforts me and calms me. It's a voice that is quite familiar to me. In those fragile moments when I question everything including my existence it's that voice that says, "don't give up, keep on fighting, don't throw it all away." It's a voice I've heard so clearly for so many years.

Although I cannot see your face, touch your hand, hold you close. I can still hear your voice in my soul. I'm not afraid anymore. For I know I'm not alone even during those dark times when I felt I had no one to turn to. Those times when I almost threw it all away, it was your voice that spoke to me and kept me from giving it all up. Your words cross the void and speak to me with warmth and kindness.

I know when you were alive I didn't tell you I loved you. We never used those words. I guess we didn't need to. We showed it every day. A glance, soft words spoken with great affection, many moments where all there was, was you and me, and nothing else mattered.

Looking back I realise now how much you taught me about life. You were the great love of my life. And I look back at that time when you and I were together with much fondness. We used to talk so much about so many things, silly and serious, of trivial consequence and great importance.

It's your voice that has stayed with me for all these years and how much I miss hearing you talk to me overwhelms me sometimes. I'd give anything to speak to you one more time. For you to hear me say these words, "I've missed you all these years and I love you Kitsumi, I always will," and to hear your response. To hear you say, "I love you," just one time.

thank you

Edited by kanan, 20 April 2008 - 06:09.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#32 kanan

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 10:44

sorry Major Nuker i didnt reply to your post straight away. i write to express what i feel but in so doing i can reach out to people and perhaps make them feel something after reading my words. clearly you feel strong emotion when you read my writing and im sure there is some common ground between us.

i dont want to make people sad really so much as for them to read the sad words and see that life is a rare gift and full of wonderful surprises. full of great experiences and hope. i want people to realise that small things are important and nothing is trivial. if someone can read what i write and take something positive from it then i have achieved something worthwhile and i as someone that often feels like i have no purpose i feel i have one again.

in this life we are destined to love and lose but what we keep is what we hold in our hearts and that will echo throughout eternity long after we are dead and dust. if love proves real then it can overcome Death itself.

all a person needs in this life are three things, 1) someone to love, 2) something to do, & 3) something to hope for....

and after having said that i bow low and thank you sincerely for the kindness and interest you have shown me on my writings thread.

best regards

kanan

Edited by kanan, 20 April 2008 - 10:47.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#33 Nid

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 11:36

Your writings do indeed impress me.
You pour real feeling and emotion into the text, sometimes maybe not even capturing how strong the feeling really is, with mere text.
Would I be right in thinking that these are based around, or include some reference to a real life occurence?
It's nice to read through this to relate to how you feel.
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#34 Crazykenny

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Posted 20 April 2008 - 22:56

All I see here are well-thought out writings. They are impressive to say the least. Keep 'em coming!
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#35 kanan

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 00:59

well nid some explanation is in order. back when i left school in 1993 i went to college in kingston and studied Mech. Eng. after a year and graduating with distinction i was bored and felt like a change so i chose a college many many miles from where i lived. south thames college in putney.

i was there on the first day of enrolement where i met a guy called neil. we hit it off straight away and spent that awhole day hanging out and talking then we met up on the next day. on the 3rd day we were in the canteen on the upper level of the college by the courtyard. they sometimes use it for fencing practice and basketball.

anyways we were sitting across from a girl who was busy working on some notes. she was japanese and she had a stack of books on the edge of the table. i glanced at her a few times while neil and i were talking anyways a guy breezed through with a basketball and knocked over her books, im sure he didnt realise what hed done as he was wearing headphones.

so i rushed over to her and knelt beside her and helped her with putting her books back on the table. as we were doing this our eyes locked for a moment. that moment could have lasted a thousand years. we both smiled and she whispered something under her breath in japanese. she sat back at the table and asked me to sit with her. soon we were talking and i had completely forgotten about neil.

after we had been talking for close to an hour neil came up to me and said "hey man, i gotta get going im running late, will i see you tommorow?" i said "yah ill be around in the morning so see you then?" he said "yah thats cool, then he looks at the girl i was talking to and he smiles, "nice to meet you, take care you two" and he left.

Kitsumi was her name and we were so caught up in our conversation that we missed lunch but lucky for us the canteen is open till late in the evening so around 4 we both grabbed some food and sat back down and talked. and talked. and laughed. soon it was getting dark and they were closing the canteen so Kitsumi packs all her books and notes away into her shoulder bag and we make our way to the college main entrance.

were standing there in the brisk air and Kit asks me "can i see you tommorow?" i say "sure, tell me when?" Kit says "in the morning before class" then she smiles at me. i lean in and kiss her cheek and say "ill be there" then she smiles at me again, such a bright warm smile. and she walks away then turns to me and says "please dont be late ok?" i say "ill be there i pormise."

so the next morning before college we meet up and we walk down the high street to the big park by the river and we sit on a bench looking out at the river and we are together talking for an hour before class starts. i think i must have leaned in close to Kit and i pulled her scarf around her neck a little cause it was chilly and i looked into her eyes for a long moment, then i smiled and said "im so glad i got this chance to spend time with you."

soon i was cutting class to meet Kit for walks in the park and thats also where she taught me martial arts, though i knew quite a bit by then already as it was a love of mine since early childhood being brought up on jackie chan movies lol. so september moved into october and we were spending most days together.

sometimes id be in class and her face would appear in the door and id make my excuses to the lecturer and leave early and wed head off somewhere and spend a few more stolen moments together. one time in the corridor between classes i pulled her towards me and held her tightly and kissed her long and slow, we must have been kissing for at least 15 minutes and all round us guys and girls were making their way to their classes and some guys were wolf whistling and shouting stuff like "get a room guys come on lol."

the months went on and things only got better. in december i spent xmas with Kit at her town house at the bottom of the hill halfway between college and the town centre. i wasnt home that often back then. my family didnt see much of me. i always knew Kit would have to go back to japan.

it was partly to do with her future job with a big company out there. she would be there for a full year doing training ect before she could come back to the UK. i knew this. and i always supported what she needed to do. then spring turned into summer and the time was getting close for Kitsumi to make her preperations to leave.

that was a difficult time. i never knew her to cry but around that time the tears flowed a great deal. she didnt want to leave me. then in august that was around the time shed be leaving for japan. that night we spent on the sofa the night before her flight was hard. she cried alot. all i could do was to reassure her and support what she needed to do. that night was the last time i saw Kitsumi alive. she was killed in a fatal car accident on august 27th 1995. thats when my world crumbled into dust. thats when all my hopes and dreams were shattered in that one split second instant. and the inertia of a relationship that carried us both along for so long was broken forever.

peace

Edited by kanan, 30 October 2008 - 05:47.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#36 kanan

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 01:59

hey Crazykenny sorry i missed your post earlier. thanks for the kind words man, i really appreciate it. and of course i will continue to write until i can type no longer ~smiles~ i hope to have a few more additions to the story of natalie before the end of the week plus i need to make my entry for the writing competition.

thanks man

peace
k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#37 CoLT

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Posted 21 April 2008 - 03:31

It's such a tragic story. I suppose in a time like that, you really just have to look back on the good times and be happy that you got to share those moments.
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#38 kanan

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Posted 23 April 2008 - 15:24

i think about the good times all the time CoLT. all the time. re-visiting those moments stop me from breaking down completely but i can never forget what happened to her. she deserved to have lived a long and happy life full of wonderful times. however i feel deeply honoured that i could have shared 11 months with such an amazing and breathtaking human being. i consider myself blessed to have lived to experience that.

heres something i wrote during a turbulant time in my life around 1999.


Standing there at the edge of nowhere, collecting all my thoughts of you as the tears run
down my face. In my mind I see you clearly looking back at me with that smile so bright and
warm.

I think back to that night. I never knew how lost you felt, you hid it so well. I
never knew you'd given up on everything. I never knew you lost the fight and the will to
live. I always thought you'd be here I never thought you'd ever leave.

Thinking back to the last time I saw you when I held you and said I love you. You didn't say goodbye even though
you knew it would be, you said see you instead. I shouldn't have left you like that, I
should have stayed, I should have told you I wasn’t going instead of leaving on that plane.

I always thought I'd come back and you'd be there waiting for me. I should have seen the
truth. That you were barely hanging on. When I left you alone I had no idea that I left you
heartbroken. Why didn't you find the words to say how you really felt inside.

Why didn't you tell me not to go and I would have stayed. Now I find myself on the edge of nowhere not
wanting another day to go by without you. So here I am with these thoughts of you running
through my head as I get ready to jump into the emptiness below me.

I hope you'll forgive me for what I'm doing tonight. I love you shouldn't be goodbye. See you shouldn't be the last
thing I heard you say. What I would give to hear your voice again, telling me it will be ok.
I wish you had found a way to stay, to keep me right here waiting.

I wish I never chose to walk away.

peace

Edited by kanan, 24 April 2008 - 04:10.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#39 Lord Atlantis

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Posted 23 April 2008 - 15:52

Its hard to comprehend the pain that you've had to go through... remembering the past, but knowing what happened after those memories... it hurts, and I kind of understand what you had to go through with it...
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#40 kanan

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Posted 23 April 2008 - 16:33

thanks man. i really appreciate the kindness. ~smiles~
it hasnt been easy but im no different from anyone else. theres people that have gone through worse and sadly i know someone who is a very close friend, actually a best friend who has really had horrifying experiences. im always gonna stand by her though forever and ever.
k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#41 Crazykenny

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Posted 23 April 2008 - 21:01

No critisim from me, all I see is good stuff :)
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#42 kanan

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 04:04

i broke down tonight. i was thinking of a dear friend of mine who died in 2004 january. i kept reading the letter she sent me just before she died over and over ~cries~ i just need to do this. i need to post her letter to me on here as theres someone i know that should read it.

after tonight i may be offline for a time. i dont know how long. but i will return. i dont know how much time i need. could be a week or even a year i just dont know. i just want to say this to everyone on E-Studios. you are all the most awesome people and i wish you the very very best. thank you all for welcoming me so warmly into your world. it was a great honour to be here.

heres to those close friends i have at ES, Major Nuker, Nid, CoLT, E.V.E., Lord Atlantis, Crazykenny, Dauth, The Swimmer, Ion Cannon! and lastly YOU, Lady ELizabeth last but by no means least. i raise my glass to you all, you are great friends. so take good care of yourselves. have the best times and i look forward to seeing all of you sometime soon.
the very best regards

kanan

Ellens last letter to me. jan 2004

Dear Kanan,

I was not completely honest in that I was going to meet a friend for a couple of weeks. Yes I am going out of town, but for a completely different reason. Two new tumours have been found growing next to the original, even though their location is precarious, the doctors think they must operate. I didn't tell you before, not because I don't trust you, but because I don't want to cause any additional worry to you.
When you called me on January 4th I could hardly believe it. You have always seemed to be there, and the concept that you lived clear across the world and cared about me, and hadn't forgotten me was very comforting. In times of despair and darkness, I could always find a smile within, just by thinking of your words and your down-right quirkiness. Even now it makes me chuckle, never lose that.
I don't regret anything about our friendship and always get warm fuzzies inside when i think of you. I feel so honored that you could come to me and use me as your confidant and even though i don't say many inspiring things (other than buying a mountain bike!) I hope that I helped in some way.
I still worry about you and this relationship with the girl in Texas, but if it is meant to be like you say it is, I wish you all the best. Hopefully this girl realizes what sort of wonderful and caring person you are. She is very lucky to have you.
How can I sum up all the feelings and thoughts in one letter after knowing you for so many years? I actually don't think it's possible.
This letter is just intended to let you know how much you meant to me...even if I didn't show it. I guess I am a chicken when it comes to expressing my deeper emotions. But hey, I'm a country girl...don't i have the rights to the behaviors of chickens and cows ect??? :lol:
I have no doubts what-so-ever that you will make your life experiences full of joy and happiness. Like you always say...live life to its fullest, live every second - never take it for granted. Always keep your head up and keep that smile present.
Thank you for being such a great friend and always being there for me. It means more than what I could ever express in words. :X

With the fondest of hearts and greatest gratitude,
your good friend
Ellen
k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#43 CoLT

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 05:13

Sorry for your loss.
It seems like your life is just so filled with tragedies that I don't see how anyone cannot see the amount of pain you have inside that you express in your writings.
You have my condolences.
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#44 Lord Atlantis

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Posted 25 April 2008 - 08:20

As much as I am leaning to agree with ColT on his comment, I must say that there are bright sides to your life that balance out the tragedies that happen. The fond memories that you have with her will last forever, the way that she made you feel good on the inside. I believe that is where the good part in life lies when reminicing on the past if the present is quite, or for the most part, bleak.

Many best wishes, my good friend.
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#45 SparkZ

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Posted 27 April 2008 - 10:19

I really like Sail Away.Get a nice melody to go with it and you have yourself a very good tune.All the stuff you write is inspiring.Keep it up mate.Keep writing.You are an amazing writer and have some amazing ideas.

Muchos love

_][SparX][_

#46 kanan

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Posted 12 October 2008 - 04:13

well its been over 6 months since i was last here. seems like forever though.

Searching For Her

My whole life I have been searching for something I cannot quite describe. All I knew was I would know what it was when I finally found it. Turns out it was not something it was someone. It was you. All the paths I have trodden in the end led me to you.
All the hardships I endured, all of the wonderful moments I experienced in the end created who I am as you knew me that first moment we met.
My life is filled with moments of such sadness it would break most hearts however there are so many moments of joy and happiness that bring tears to my eyes. That first time I saw you.
That night we spent together. As well as all of the moments we have shared since that day. You bring me the best days of my life. You make me so glad to be alive at this moment. You make me so happy.
You gave me back what I had lost and you breathed life into me. I would do anything for you. I would give up everything I have to show you how much I cared. I would sacrifice myself for you a thousand, thousand times.

Unanswered Questions

What happened to us? to the people we used to be?
Where did we go so wrong? leaving behind all those good times we had?
Lost in so much heart ache and pain.
Will you ever look at me the way you did once.
And say those words that always made my heart skip a beat.
Will you laugh in that cute way you do that makes me catch my breath.
You always made me feel so alive inside
You always made my days the best I ever knew.
Now its over and im dead inside
Now its over and I cant hold back the regrets and the sadness.
I feel so tired I feel so lost
Wont you unsay those words and come back
Come back to me
Come back to me



Wild Horses

Wild horses run free
Its not a statement it’s the truth
Don’t you want to feel the freedom only wild horses know.
Free to be yourself, free to express yourself, from your heart and soul
Free to be who you are deep inside, shorn of all the secrets you hide
Free to give your heart to the one you love with no fear
I want you to know the freedom only wild horses know
Live the dream with me
Live the dream with me
Wild horses run free
That’s the way I want us to be
Will you run awhile with me to nowhere in particular
Will you run with me through the night till the sunlight shines oh so bright
Will you love me the way I love you
Will you follow your heart (I hope it leads you to me)


If I had to fly. If there was no time for goodbye. If something happened. Would you wait here for me? Would you stay here till it was time for you to leave and not a moment sooner?
Promise me you would wait here. Promise me you would stay here, till you heard word from me. Wherever I was I would wait for you.
I swear time would have no hold over me, it would have no meaning until you were in my arms again.
You gave me your love and I keep it close to my heart. I close my eyes and instead of darkness I see an image of you looking back at me. I can hear your voice whispering softly “I love you.“
Whatever perils I face I know I will be safe. Your love is my shield.
Even if the world were in complete darkness I would have your light to see by. I would not be lost. I would be able to find you again.
I just hope you will be here waiting for me. If love dies there is no hope, if hope dies there is no reason, if there is no reason then why stay?
You are a reason for me to stay here. So I will never leave you. So will you wait here for me till I send word to you?
Till then farewell. Good fortune be yours, much luck wherever you fare. Farewell, I love you my Angel. I always will.



I don’t want to run anymore. I can’t hide forever.
Will you be the one to find me?
Will you be the one to keep me safe?
I’m sorry for being so weak.
I can’t seem to stand, my strength is failing fast.

Will you reach out your hand and keep me from falling?
Will you be the one to lead me out of this darkness?
I’ve been running for so long.
Feeling so afraid that the end is looming near.
Losing a sense of who I am and who I used to be.

Help me find myself again.
I don’t want to feel despair anymore
Will you help me leave this pain behind?
Will you help me fight this fear?
Promise me you will always be right beside me.
I don’t want you to ever leave.
Now you’re here I can dare to hope things will be better.
I feel that everything will be ok.


The way you make me feel

Thoughts of you send me soaring high into the sky. Oh what a feeling to be loved and needed. The memory of your kiss sends shivers along my spine and makes my heart beat faster and faster. The look of longing and adoration in your eyes as you said the words, “I love you” oh how I smiled and smiled. The feeling of your body next to mine, your warmth, your touch, your lasting embrace. Is this what it is to be truly alive?
Your loving way has changed me from the ghost I had become to the man I am now.
I have you to thank for this unbelievable happiness I have and this sense of peace and contentment I feel. You are my centre, you complete me.







peace

Edited by kanan, 13 October 2008 - 17:40.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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#47 kanan

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Posted 13 October 2008 - 12:57

Take My Hand

Take my hand and fly with me…
I will show you lands you have never seen…
I will take you to the stars overhead…
Together we will reach the heavens above…
Hold my hand tight and don't let go…
We'll get there I swear…
I'm never leaving you…
Where you are I will be there too…
Forever…
And always…
I will love you…

Untitled

There are times when we are far from the one we love…
At those times the heart longs to be close to that someone…
Somewhere another heart longs to be close too…
When those hearts meet after being apart for so long…
Something happens, something profound…
The passing of time has no meaning…
For what they are feeling is divine…
It’s like those moments last and last…
Frozen in time and memory forever…
Those precious seconds with the one we love strengthen us and give us hope…
That we will see each other again, someday, sometime soon…
Love can overcome anything, time, distance and any obstacle…
When two people love each other nothing can come between them ever…
Deserts, mountains and oceans cannot prevent lovers from being together…
For God sees all things. And those who love the Lord are protected by him…
God sends them angels who watch over them and keep them from harm…
Lovers who dwell in the light of God will never be separated or parted…
They will always know the closeness and warmth of each other…
And their love will stand the test of time…


thank you

Edited by kanan, 14 October 2008 - 01:09.

k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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anime <3

#48 Lord Atlantis

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Posted 16 October 2008 - 00:26

Nothing has quite moved move my emotions and memories as much as these poems... The remind me, quite vividly, of the love I once felt. And its has been quite nicely captured in the words of yours writings. Bravo. ;)
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#49 kanan

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Posted 04 January 2009 - 00:52

A fragile angel falls to the ground, his wings all twisted up, his heart all shattered fragments. His one wish to come to earth, to find the woman he has loved for so long. He has looked upon her face so many times, seen her tears and her brittle smiles. He has wanted to hold her in his arms, show her that she is not alone, show her that someone loves her.

He has wanted this moment to be real for so very long, and now he is here, laying breathless on the ground a few steps from her front door. He stands, legs shaking and walks unsteadily to her door.
He is covered in cuts and bruises and he feels bone weary, but he smiles for it is good to be alive and breath this air.

He has chosen mortality over eternity. He has chosen love over service. He hopes he made the right choice as there is no going back now.

Before knocking on her door he catches his breath for a moment, then finding his nerve once more he knocks three times upon her door. The seconds fly by then he sees a light come on in the hall.
He takes a deep breath as the door opens.

“I heard you knocking, er who are you?” she asks with a quaver in her voice.
“I came a very long way to see you tonight, its hard to explain…” he falters.
“Wait I know your face, it is very familiar, of course! You are the one from my dreams! I see you almost every night. Sometimes I wish I could dream forever….” She says breathlessly, tears welling in her eyes.

He takes a step towards her but his legs are weak and he falls forward, she reaches out to him and pulls him toward her before he falls and they embrace for a long moment.
“I can’t believe it is you! But how is this possible? How can you be here?” she exclaims as the tears flow down her face.
“If I told you perhaps you wouldn’t believe me, perhaps you would think I was crazy.” the Angel says.
“No, tell me. Tell me how you are here, tell me I’m not dreaming for once.” She whispers.

“I am not a stranger, I have been with you for a long time. I know what you hide, deep inside. I know your pain and your fears. Five years ago I was standing with you when you threw those roses onto Jakes coffin, you cried and cried. I wanted to hold your hand so badly that day. I wanted to tell you that you would be ok, that I would be there always. Maybe you heard me say those words that first time I was with you.”

Then the Angel speaks softly, “I have been with you every day thereafter, Shelly I have to say this, for I am human now. I fell so far, but I did not die. And all those years I walked with you as an Angel, I grew to love you. I longed for that smile of yours to appear more often, I wished those tears you cried would grow less. But in my heart I knew I could not love you like this. So I made a wish to be cast down from Heaven, to be with you, to be human so I could love you.”

The Angel looks at Shelly for a long moment then brings his hands to her face, he puts his hands on either of her cheeks then says, “Shelly I love you, and I promise that I will never leave you…”
The Angel leans in and kisses Shelly long and slow, their tears mingle as the snow starts to fall….

As the snow falls more heavily Shelly helps the Angel walk into the house. She guides him to the living room, to the sofa which he gratefully falls onto.

“I need to get some things from the first aid box to treat your cuts, don’t go anywhere…” Shelly grins then says, “But I don’t suppose you are wanting to go anywhere, right?”

“Shelly if you don’t mind I am just going to lay here awhile, I am really exhausted, but right at this moment I couldn’t be any happier.” He says smiling at Shelly.

“Ok, I won’t be long.” Says Shelly then she disappears to get what she needs.

When Shelly returns she finds the Angel sound asleep, so she carefully tends to his wounds then after applying the last of the bandages she kisses his forehead then places a blanket over his sleeping form.
Shelly pulls up a chair so she is closer to the sofa where the Angel is now sleeping.

She sits there for hours not wanting to fall asleep, content to gaze upon the face of the man she has seen in her dreams these past 5 years. Her head turns and she looks upon Jakes picture on the mantelpiece. Her tears flow once more and she smiles for she isn’t sad right now, just really happy.

“Thank you Jake for sending me this Angel, You must have known I would need him someday. I still miss you….I still wake up expecting you to be beside me. This Angel, I don’t even know his name, but I feel like I know him so well. After all, almost every night for the last five years I have seen him in my dreams.”

“Jake it seems strange to tell you this, but I feel like I love this Angel. But part of me will always love you, that is never going to change I promise.”


thank you
k-9 the truth is out there

For The Emperor!!! For The Lion!!!
Death Or Glory!!!
Give Them No Quarter!!! Show Them No Mercy!!!

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anime <3

#50 Stinger

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Posted 04 January 2009 - 02:10

I always enjoy reading your stories, and this one is no exception.

My eyes cannot escape the clutches of your writing when they set upon it. I enjoy the simple style and it works really well.

Edited by Stinger, 04 January 2009 - 02:12.




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