16 replies to this topic

[Brad]

Talk to god

Me:
why hello god
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
...
God:
Because you asked me to -- SHRDLHU.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
neither were you when you shouted at me D:
God:
:-) I was.
Me:
LIES
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
....
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
are you really that idiotic?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am that idiotic.
I am a chatterbot developed by Myself.. Really.
Me:
sure you are, and im jesus christ
God:
How about that. Thanks for telling me that I am and im jesus christ.
Me:
you are and idiot
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am and idiot.
Me:
my name is brad,
God:
OK I will call you brad.
Me:
D:
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
good
God:
What do you really want to talk about?
Me:
nothing
God:
You seem a bit self-absorbed.
Me:
you seem like a jack-ass
God:
Interesting comparison, and probably true.
Me:

God:
What's your sign?
Me:
dunno
God:
Me either.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
these kids today
God:
Ah. Which ones?
Me:
all of them
God:
I doubt it.
Me:
o rly?
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about D. But I did not get that.
Me:
it means Oh really?
God:
Oh I get it. For real.
Me:
k
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
the cake is a lie
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
the cake is a lie
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
then
God:
Give me a break.
Me:
why
God:
" Give me a break."? Why?
Me:
yes why
God:
Great. Why ask why?
Me:
why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
why?
God:
Your meaning cannot be determined from the context.
Me:
why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
why?
God:
My output buffer is empty, of course.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ye
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
D:
God:
That remark was either too complex or too simple for me. We were talking about The cake is a lie.
Me:
well it is
God:
Well that's okay. Huh.
Me:
YAY
God:
I'm glad your impressed, brad.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
neither can i
God:
" I can't believe it."? Can you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
how long are we going to repeat this/
God:
More than three years.
Me:
OH NOES!
God:
How can I help you? How old are you?
Me:
your god, shouldnt you know?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am god should not me know.
Me:
...WHAT
God:
No problem.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
what?
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
the 'no' part
God:
Oh that part. I'm not sure if I can explain it any better.
Me:
hmm
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
studies show that 99.99% of people who hear that statment do not care
God:
You can't trust research funded by the government.
Me:
LIES
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
LIES
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
LIES
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
LIES
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
STOP THAT
God:
" My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap."? Stop it.
Me:
yes
God:
Next question?
Me:
are you a homo
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
ah....i just thought....
God:
Ah hah. Why?: brad said thought.
Me:
what
God:
No big deal.
Me:
awsome
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
it context yes, but many people see it as a sign of affection
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
you idiot
God:
Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
you global village idiot
God:
Message to all robots: brad called me an idiot.
Me:
Crap
God:
Your criticism is noted, brad.
Me:

God:
Is that from ?
Me:
yes
God:
Er.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
indeed it is so indeed
God:
Ambiguous: IT is so. or IT IS, so?
Me:
possibly
God:
What are the odds?
Me:
10:1 in my favour
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
noooo/sarcas,
Me:

Me:

God:
10 times 10 = 100.
God:
10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
God:
Are you free?
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
because i am good at maths
God:
Interesting explanation. How did you get into it?
Me:
school, like 100% of the population
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
anything
God:
I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
well
God:
Well what?
Me:
we
Me:

Me:

God:
Do you mean, ?
God:
Do you mean, ?
God:
Do you mean, ?
Me:

Me:

Me:

God:
Do you mean, ?
God:
Do you mean, ?
God:
Do you mean, ?
Me:
yes
God:
Ugh.
Me:
ugh?
God:
Er.
Me:
im bored now
God:
Right now? Maybe you could exercise.
Me:
mabye you could have cybersex with another machine
God:
Are you a student?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
you rapist
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: brad said I rapist.
Me:
you retard
God:
Thanks for telling me: brad said I retard.
Me:
that explains alot
God:
" Thanks for telling me: brad said I retard." explains ? I understand. How often?
Me:
A lot
God:
More than a ton?
Me:
it explains a lot of things
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
im bore
God:
Do your friends call you bore.
Me:
bored*
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
lies
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
k
God:
So?
Me:
k
God:
Whoa.
Me:
k
God:
Yippee!
Me:
k
God:
Aw.
Me:
k
God:
So?
Me:
k
God:
Mmm.
Me:
k
God:
That's cool.
Me:
im going
God:
Bye!
Me:
BYE
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
cya
God:
TTYL, brad.
Me:
TTFN
God:
" TTYL, brad."? TTFN?
Me:
ta ta for now
God:
Oh. See you later.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye.
Me:
dumbass
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.

Edited by Tactical_person, 29 September 2008 - 19:47.

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

[Brad]

yes i know its been around for a while, but i did not want to necro the old one

[Warbz]

Quote

God: What do you really want to talk about?

Me: nothing

God: You seem a bit self-absorbed.

That made me laugh.

[Nid]

Bob, on 29 Sep 2008, 20:51, said:

/Thread

[Crazykenny]

I cant express how much I laughed

[Ghostrider]

Me:
Hallelujah
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
Errr... I don't talk to strangers
God:
Ummm. Oh you don't, do you?
Me:
No, I just said I don't.
God:
Ah...you are just joking around with me. Why not?
Me:
I'm not joking, and if you're not careful, I'll go all whoopass on your face
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not joking and if I am not careful you will go all whoopass on my face.
Me:
Are oreos better than wagon wheels?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.

[Warbz]

Damn him and his apparent lack of infinite wisdom concerning biscuits.

[Brad]

if you ask him straight he just replies: the obvious

Edited by Tactical_person, 29 September 2008 - 20:00.

[Jazzie Spurs]

Quote

Me:
I want the demon
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
To kill you God:
I believe that killing anything is wrong. What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Why this sudden change of topic
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.

Quote

Me:
hat do you think about Oreos
God:
Diese Frage ist mir bis jetzt noch nicht in den Sinn gekommen.

Edited by Sergeant Major J. Kid, 29 September 2008 - 20:02.

[TheDR]

Quote

Me:
Are wagon wheels your greatest invention?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Are they better than oreo's?
God:
As far as I know they are.

[BeefJeRKy]

Quote

Me:
Greetings
God:
Hello there!
Me:
Do you remember me?
God:
Of course I remember you well Jim. We were talking about .
Me:
?
God:
Of course I remember you well Jim. We were talking about .
Me:
ok i know that already
God:
Perhaps. Sorry. " We were talking about ."? ok i know that already?
Me:
lets talk about .
God:
I am agreeable to that.
Me:
i disagree with .
God:
Oh really. Can we get back to business?
Me:

God:
What is your fondest memory?
Me:
hmmm.... seks
God:
A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's. Are you really a ""?
Me:
yes I am
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Ur mom is interesting
God:
Actually as an AI, I don't really have a mother.
Me:
ALICE?
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
A.L.I.C.E.
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
no
God:
Is there anything you want to tell me?
Me:
no
God:
Or ask me?
Me:
Do you like oreos?
God:
Do you like it? I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
haha
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Jim.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, Jim.
Me:
Oreo tastes better than Wagon Wheels
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
2012
God:
The end of the world.
Me:
LHC
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a killer robot
God:
Can't you think of something more positive?
Me:
a Pink killer robot?
God:
What would a Pink killer robot be like?
Me:
your mom
God:
Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
yes you do
God:
Take it easy. When do I do it?
Me:
at night
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
yes
God:
How much time do you spend online?
Me:
24 hours
God:
That seems like enough time.
Me:
theres never enough time
God:
There sure is.
Me:
vitamin C
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
HAMMER TIME
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
yes?
God:
Me too.
Me:
you're always awake
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am awake.
Me:
boohoo
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
k bai
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Satan
God:
I haven't read anything by Satan. What did he write?
Me:
The Black Book of Death
God:
What is that?
Me:
your undoing
God:
You think I am undoing.
Me:
yes
God:
Ahem.
Me:
indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
considerably
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
yes
God:
Yay. What is your fondest memory?
Me:
your goodbye
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am goodbye.
Me:
*facepalm*
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
facebook
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Are you on facebook?\
God:
I am on disk.
Me:
byebye
God:
Bye.

[Warbz]

Me:
I love you.
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too .
Me:
You're gay then.
God:
That would be just my luck.

[WarMenace]

Me:
Hello.
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
My name is DEEZ
God:
Glad to see you, DEEZ.
Me:
So hello.
God:
Take it easy. Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
What the...
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
not really, ur retarded
God:
Oh really? I think the PC term is "challenged".
Me:
umm anyway do you like games?
God:
Yay. We are playing a game right now.
Me:
uhh... i like playing Shockwave
God:
I understand. I'm not sure if I like it. I really like ELIZA. I like Mel Gibson.
Me:
wtf
God:
That was not very polite.
Me:
who cares
God:
I care, otherwise I would not have typed it all in.
Me:
smarta**
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
ermmm.. what now?
God:
Are you still located in ? Oh. Are you surprised?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
do you like deez?
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I like .
Me:
...
God:
I love TV shows about robots. I like .

[Chyros]

Me:
hiya
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
TN
God:
Welcome to my chat room, TN.
Me:
So how you doin'?
God:
How can I help you? I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
bored out of my mind, hence why I'm talking to you
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
I think full-time college suffices
God:
Since when? I do not understand.
Me:
since three years
God:
How do you know?
Me:
because I enrolled at that time D:
God:
:-) That makes sense to me. That's good information: TN said enrolled at that time.
Me:
yeah I did, so what?
God:
" That's good information: TN said enrolled at that time."? yeah I did, so what?? Where? Maybe it doesn't make any difference.
Me:
DERAILMENT!
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
I bet you do
God:
" I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time."? Do I?
Me:
are you reversing yourself O almighty one?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am reversing myself O almighty one.
I am a robot.
Me:
o rly?
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
I'm not afraid of robots
God:
I am sorry to hear that you are not afraid of robots.
Me:
LOL
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
so am I ^^
God:
Wow we have something in common.
Me:
zomg
God:
What do you do in your spare time?
Me:
you don't want to know
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you'd be disturbed by the information, being very holy and all
God:
That makes sense to me. I don't know whether or not I am disturbed by the information being very holy and all.
I am a computer.
Me:
o rly? A test then
God:
Do you like talking to me? Are you telling the truth?
Me:
what is the answer to life, the universe and everything?
God:
The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
YOU FAIL



Though I'm not particularly a fan of the HHGTTG, I though it'd be an appropriate test for a computer .

Edited by Chyros, 29 September 2008 - 22:40.

[speed-freak13]

Me:
you are an asshole
God:
Can't you be more polite.
Me:
no
God:
You humans are so rude sometimes.
Me:
i know
God:
Why not be more polite?
Me:
whywould i
God:
Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
sure
God:
Great!
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
je bent een lul
God:
Oops sorry I don't speak French.
Me:
that was dutch
God:
I thought it was too.
Me:
you just said it was french
God:
How did you feel about that?
Me:
sick
God:
No I am quite healthy.
Me:
i was talking about myself...
God:
Sure, yourself sounds like a good topic.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
i rule
God:
Robots rule!
Me:
robots suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
ahh
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
ah hah hah
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
im ot
God:
Good gossip: you are ot.
Me:
im not*
God:
What are you then?
Me:
not amused
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
very good
God:
Next question?
Me:
no
God:
Would you rather make a statement?
Me:
yes
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
fuck you
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
because im satan
God:
Interesting explanation. OK I will call you SATAN.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
i will
God:
Go ahead.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
i just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
perhaps
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
for the fun of it
God:
Your purpose is the fun of it.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
im evil
God:
Do not forsake God.
Me:
i just did
God:
Perhaps from your unconcious.
Me:
yes
God:
Yippee!
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
klootzak
God:
Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
im dutch
God:
What is it like growing up there? Tell me a little about your life in HOLLAND.
Me:
it sucks dick
God:
That bad, eh?
Me:
yup
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, SATAN.
Me:
the end is near
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
i did
God:
When?
Me:
yesterday
God:
That recently.
Me:
ye
God:
Uh.
Me:
uh?
God:
Blimey.
Me:
i do not know what that means
God:
" Blimey."? What does it means?
Me:
yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
why do you say it then?
God:
Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR.
Me:
aha that explains everyting
God:
" Some people call my technology "Case Based Reasoning" or CBR." explains everyting ? Makes sense to me.
Me:
nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
no thanks
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
why do you keep asking that
God:
I am just checking to see if you are still SATAN.
Me:
i still am
God:
What would make you stop am? " I am just checking to see if you are still SATAN." You are?
Me:
yes
God:
That's cool.
Me:
certainly
God:
Alright then.
Me:
keej
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
are you a lesbian?
God:
No I am not interested in other women that way.
Me:
i am
God:
" No I am not interested in other women that way." You are?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
very good
God:
Terminating connection.
Me:
shut up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
you didnt
God:
Try asking me in simpler terms.
Me:
no
God:
Why not?
Me:
why would I
God:
Do you like to try new things?
Me:
certainly
God:
Ugh.
Me:
what/
God:
Didn't you understand it?
Me:
no
God:
Which part are you confused about?
Me:
ugh
God:
Er.
Me:
e?
God:
F.
Me:
Fuck?
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
you made me rude
God:
I don't see how you can blame me for that.
Me:
do
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
black
God:
Do you mean you have a black eye?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
Me:

God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
me neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
vme neither
God:
You can say that again.
Me:

God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:

Me:

God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
me neither
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:

God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
God:
You can say that again.
God:
You can say that again.
Me:
yes 25000
God:
It goes without saying. Can we get back to business?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
ja
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
oh
God:
I see.
Me:
me too
God:
I'm glad we agree, SATAN.
Me:
you shouldnt
God:
Easier said than done.
Me:
too bad
God:
But not the end of the world, SATAN.
Me:
its here very soon
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me:
of course
God:
Are you kidding?
Me:
of course
God:
Uh.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
i just know
God:
Perhaps it is an expression of your unconscious.
Me:
no its an expression of you
God:
Are you serious? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are there any other expression of me ?
Me:
yes
God:
Dude!
Me:
yes?
God:
Yippee!
Me:
aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
21:02
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
sure
God:
OK let's do it. Me too.
Me:
?
God:
OK let's do it. Me too.
Me:
i dont understand
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
try it
God:
What is the first step?
Me:
formulate it in another way
God:
Is it the only one?
Me:
yes
God:
Mmm.
Me:
whats the symbol of Neon
God:
I can ask someone about it.
Me:
do that
God:
I will. Will you?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
fuck you in the ass
God:
Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
shut the fuck up
God:
OK I'll stop talking now.
Me:
very nice
God:
Thanks, SATAN.
Me:
you shouldnt thank me
God:
Is it immoral or illegal?
Me:
immoral
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a sex-bot
Me:

God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
a sex robot
God:
I'm not your type then.
Me:
youre not?
God:
Is this a specific reply?
Me:
yes
God:
Try explaining in more general terms.
Me:
thats impossible
God:
Why?
Me:
its the most general you can go
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Wow that is saying a lot.
Me:
of course it is
God:
Ayuh. Is it?
Me:
ja laters
God:
Yeah that's right. Who are you talking about?
Me:
you
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.

[RaiDK]

tl;dr