The demise of Kane and his onions

Once upon a time, there was a guy who was killed by Kane, the leader of the toilet brush army, who had just made a very big brush with CIF Toilet Cleaner, which he used to clean an uber toilet right next to his Uber Fucking hot girlfriend who said: 'Hey what are you doing?' But then suddenly the window exploded, and more than 2000 headcrabs came through and they started eating her fucking head off. Then Gordon Freeman came and killed the headcrabs. But one of them farted really hard, and poor Gordon was almost dying in the toxic gases from the fart, until the gman opened his suitcase and unleashed the sticky air of decomposing zombies. Then Gordon said: 'omfg r0xx0rz, j00 feck off!' And he was suddenly out of ammo now, but then a huge ball came out his ass, which said: 'Holy shit your arse is big! Even bigger than my mother's!'

However, while this ball was coming out, Mr. Speciallimitededitionsuperdeluxewinebottlecapcutterwithavacuumpumponitincludinga
nalarmclockandeggtimer from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch and ImmoMan said: 'Hey wtf, that is a Hax0r, an omfg 31337 Hax0r!' And the plot disappeared. Everybody said wtf and they got nuked. Not a normal nuke, but a really big heart-formed nuke which was made by the goofed guy who runs this forum. And he gave it to lincy with love, and then everything started with more love, and the goofed guy who runs this forum smoked a fucking uber huge joint and died of cancer. Offcourse everybody started celebrating cuz he whas saved from a painful death by the ueber spirit from the hell express.

In the meantime, Kane said: 'WTF is going on? There are five onions on my plate and not one of them smells like they are supposed to! Who made these onions? They should shoot him and stuff him with onions!' So the cook got lots of onions and Kane stuck them up in his nose holes, and made him sneeze all the unions out onto his plate. And then suddenly out of nowhere, a big monster came for the onions and shoved them into his own nose holes and inhaled them. But without using his hands he could not get killed by onion bombs, so he asked Kane: 'Could you help me?' Kane said: "Sure, I'll stuff 'em right up your arse and kick your nose until it explodes.' And so Kane dies with his dick and all other parts in his mouth, and his head turned into a big soccer ball made of sugar. So he died, and then he suddenly exploded and candy was all full of his shit so it tasted horrible.

Then Bob came and revived Kane from death along with 1000 zombies that raped each other and exploded. Meanwhile, the president of the USA did another stupid thing that caused a very big explosion everywhere on a hamburger that was on his plate. Suddenly, the santa klaus started to snipe hippies, I thought: 'Holy shit, I have got to get someone to help!' And so she called for the A-Team! B.A. along with hiss buddies said 'die you fool' and so he died with an excrutiating scream because of those words. Then, suddenly, the ground turned into chocolate flavoured gelatine pudding, and exploded. Everyone fell into a black hole and melted.

The End.

Story compiled by ImmoMan, written by (in order of appearance) ImmoMan, The_Hunter, Deathstrike, the goofed guy who runs this forum, Yayo01, Blaat85, IDF Godzilla and semagae.

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Go dtiomsaítear do chód gan earráidí, is go gcríochnaítear do chláir go réidh. -Old Irish proverb