Posted 03 March 2009 - 15:21
I've been trying to write a reply for the past hour or so... and tbh I don't really no where to begin, or how to express myself properly, but I'll do my best. Ever since I started doing art at school, especially when I was doing art for GCSE and A-Level, I never followed mainstream art, I most certainly never followed the crowd... going for famous artists ... doing things like silk screen printing or collages or any of this modern art crap, I personally always thought it was load of bull. Sure it may fit under the definition of "Art" but I never could, and probably never will understand how people can be impressed by paintings that look they have been done by a four-year-old. People say, "but it's done in such and such a style", I really couldn't care less it still looks shit. (To put it bluntly)
I guess this all boils down to how I am as a person... I took 4 subjects at As-Level, Art (which I already mentioned), Maths, ICT and graphics Design... and the last three all involve a certain degree of technical skill and logic. I have always enjoyed maths, having an equation and working out the answer. In art there are no real questions and there are no real answers, art just is, it should have no "purpose", and this has always been my biggest floor. I am no good at just thinking things up on the spot, I like have a challenge and fulfilling goals.
At GCSE I got a C in art, if you asked me now what specific subjects I did my coursework and exam unit(s) on, I really couldn't tell.. I couldn't even tell you how I managed to get a C, I just did little projects, pretending I had a clue what I was doing, but I really didn't, I started a new project practically every lesson, but never really finished anything. I remember doing an artist study on this guy who made replicas of eschers work in lego (fun times, getting to play with lego in class :3) and I tried to make a robot out of empty smint packets, I didn't complete either of them because deep down I knew that what I was doing was a load of crap and really wasn't me as a person.
Even though I didn't get a spectacular mark at GCSE, I still enjoyed art, making things that looked good and people said I was "good" at it, so I went ahead a did it at A-Level too. I started of the first year much like GCSE, just doing things, not really getting anywhere... but I had a pretty good teacher that actually managed to push me in to doing something I felt comfortable doing, rather than doing things everyone else was doing... that I really hated. So I eventually started drawing manga/anime. Even though I was finally doing something that I enjoyed doing, I still really didn't get anywhere with it. Most of "my" work was just sketches and paintings of already existing anime... and I didn't do this because I wasn't capable of coming up with ideas of my own, the reason I did this was for fear of getting it "wrong"... even though I knew then ,and still know now, that there is no right or wrong in art, it's all about expressing yourself. Even though I know this, it doesn't change the fact that I (in general) don't like getting things wrong, or doing the wrong thing.
As I said, this still applies now... all of my work is a display of my technical ability not my artistic flare. I never show anything that I don't consider to be worth showing (even if others disagree). I don't, however, have a hug stock pile of work that I simple don't think is worth showing, simply because if I start something and it's not turning out very good, I just give up... and I guess I am never going to improve if I only finish work that looks like it might turn out OK, but I guess that is just how I am.
I appreciate your comment, I really do, because I think you are the first person to actually understand that my work is not art and most likely never will be (at least in my own eyes). I hope one day that I will be comfortable enough with my style to actually just create things on whim, but at the moment that just isn't possible with me.
I currently use photoshop to render this anime and probably unlike most "artists" that use photoshop, I can just use one or 2 layers. I use undreads, if not, thousands of layers, all in different groups with masks on. Why? Simply for the fear of getting something "wrong" and not able to simply go back and correct the mistake.
Anyway, sorry I went out that little rant. I think this was more for my benefit than anyone else's... I just needed to get that out into the open. I am still very early on in the development of a style that actually suits me and appareciate any feedback I get. In fact I probably prefer negative feedback more... because I know my work isn't great, and I know most of it isn't complete... but knowing about that doesn't really help me in changing that.
@Art vs. work argument: This may just be my weird views on life showing through again... but at the end of the day does it really matter what something is labelled with? because no matter what you label it, it doesn't actually change what it is.
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