23 replies to this topic

[WNxMastrefubu]

EVERY body loves chuck norris jokes, tell your faverite ones here. i know like 100 of 'em but here are my fave some of mine

Chuck norris once won a game of connect four in 3 moves

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land

Chuck norris once shot down a plane by looking at it and saying "bang"

Chuck norris won a staring contest with the sun

There is no evolution. just a list of animals chuck norris lets live.

when god said "let there be light" chuck norris said "say please".

u guys hav any faves?

[Admiral Wesley]

Chuck Norris pisses molten steel.

Edited by General Wesley, 25 June 2009 - 20:03.

[Pav:3d]

even though my initial reaction was "THIS IS OLD" i still found it pretty funny
Paticulalry "Chuck norris won a staring contest with the sun"

[Dauth]

*Sigh* more old internets garbage, reckon he can take on locky?

[Major Fuckup]

one time Chuck Norris was laying on his stomach at the beach got a hardon and struck oil

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

70% of a human's weight is water. 70% of Chuck Norris' weight is his dick.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

god wanted to create the earth in 12 days Chuck Norris gave him 7.

Chuck Norris took the locky on once and the locky was never found again along with some admins

[Brad]

Chuck Norris once thought of the game and didn't lose.

/bordom

[Ion Cannon!]

Dauth, on 25 Jun 2009, 21:42, said:

*Sigh* more old internets garbage, reckon he can take on locky?

Theres only one way to find out.

[Brad]

Ion Cannon!, on 29 Jun 2009, 21:38, said:

Dauth, on 25 Jun 2009, 21:42, said:

*Sigh* more old internets garbage, reckon he can take on locky?

Theres only one way to find out.

I thought you were L4Ding D:

[General]

WNxMastrefubu, on 22 Jun 2009, 19:09, said:

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim on land

Chuck norris won a staring contest with the sun

There is no evolution. just a list of animals chuck norris lets live.

Even though I over hear so much jokes about him, those are funny to me

Just come to my mind one, don't know if its made since there is so much around :

Chuck Norris said: let there be light, and there was light

its actually proves something

Edited by Turian, 29 June 2009 - 20:53.

[Dr. Strangelove]

Clint Eastwood>Bruce Willis>Chuck Norris

[WNxMastrefubu]

chuck norris counted to infinity...twice.

[Dr. Strangelove]

Clint Eastwood is allowed to talk about fight club.

[Magma]

Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries. Ever.
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.
Most people fear the Reaper. Chuck Norris considers him "a promising Rookie".
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris got a speeding ticket, from a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris chose his name before he was born.
Chuck Norris knows every Anonymous posters.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

[BeefJeRKy]

I killed Chuck Norris in his sleep.

[Sgt. Nuker]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
When Chuck Norris jumps into a lake he doesn't get wet. The lake gets Chuck Norris'd.
It never rains on Chuck Norris' parade

[WNxMastrefubu]

Fact: Chuck norris doesnt consider it sex unless the female dies

Edited by WNxMastrefubu, 07 July 2009 - 18:05.

[Pandut]

Someone wanted to have a child with Chuck Norris, sadly, he stopped after God.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
Chuck Norris can kill two rocks with one bird.

[NOPE]

There is no 'Ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

[Sgt. Nuker]

Those are good ones Lil.

[WNxMastrefubu]

lol now there just "the islands"

one norris was walking down the crowded street. suddenly he had a boner. there were no survivors.

[Hobbesy]

Every time Clint Eastwood squints, a Mexican dies.

[Pandut]

You cant kick Chuck Norris in the nuts: He Just t-bags your foot.
Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.

Edited by Sobek, 07 July 2009 - 19:39.

[Dr. Strangelove]

Høbbesy, on 7 Jul 2009, 19:19, said:

Every time Clint Eastwood squints, a Mexican dies.

Look! It's one of 'dem Rojo boys!

[Sgt. Nuker]

Chuck Norris is the "I" in "team".