1469 replies to this topic

[Chyros]

Major Fuckup, on 20 August 2013 - 11:14, said:

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The speed camera that sits on Mounts Bay Road, and affectionately dubbed "Trust Fund" by the State Government, has been awarded the Public Servant of the Year Award 2013, for excellent service to the Government.

A Government spokesperson told the Bell Tower Times that the speed camera was an obvious choice for the award as:[indent]"Old Trust Fund is everything that you want in a public servant: The ability to sit on its ass all day, earn the Government loads of cash and most importantly, achieve absolutely nothing. We all look up to that speed camera".[/indent]
The speed camera netted an unbelievable $2.5 Million in revenue in 2012, which equates roughly to 10,000 speeding fines. Despite the camera's tireless work, there appears to be no reduction in speeding in the stretch of Mounts Bay Road that it occupies (Perth - Nedlands).

Colin Barnett will present "Trust Fund" with a medallion and a tax-payer funded night of wining and dining, where the State's politicians will get an opportunity to personally thank "Trust Fund" for the extra revenue needed to pay for their drivers, flights and dinners.

The Bell Tower Times attempted to uncover how many road deaths per year were a result of unsafe road conditions. We were unable to locate this statistic. Sadly, we were able to find statistics on total revenue raised through traffic violations in Western Australia: over $100 Million in 2012.

What says more about the integrity of a Government, the statistics provided to the public or the information withheld? You be the judge.

As for us, we congratulate "Trust Fund", at least it never sniffed a chair.

Thats one of the funnest public interest stories i have read so far

http://thebelltowert...ted-public.html

HAHAHAHA

That's brilliant .

[General]

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Pregnant women are often told to mind their bodies' natural cues. But what happens when your body tells you to eat sponges and sand for breakfast?
Kelly-Marie Pearce had those peculiar cravings during both of her pregnancies, and she told The Sun that she'd fashion the ingredients into a vernacularly redundant sand-sandwich.
Her hankering for the peculiar meal began with one innocuous glance into a parrot cage. “I kept getting this weird taste in my mouth. I was craving something, then I saw the sand in the cage and knew what it was," Pearce, who's from from Wolverhampton, England, told The Sun.
She quickly grew addicted to sponges dipped in sand. Eventually, she was noshing her way through an entire packet of sponges a day.
However, Pearce's cravings weren't simply a matter of taste buds gone awry. She had pica, a craving for non-food substances, often including cornstarch, baking powder and dirt. Though more common among young children than adults, pica can occur during pregnancy, according to the National Institutes of Health.
The NIH notes:
In some cases, a lack of certain nutrients, such as iron deficiency anemia and zinc deficiency, may trigger the unusual cravings. Pica may also occur in adults who crave a certain texture in their mouth.
In a 2011 interview with Public Radio International's "Living on Earth," Cornell professor Sera Young noted that most pica cravings are for "dry, powdery, absorptive" substances. Young, who also wrote a book on pica titled Craving Earth, postulated that pregnant women might crave these non-food substances to absorb "pathogens like viruses and bacteria and other harmful chemicals," thereby protecting their growing baby.
However, pica can be dangerous to pregnant women and their babies, causing a host of health risks such as obstruction of the bowel, tapeworms or premature birth, according to Psychology Today.
Luckily, both of Pearce's children were born healthy. Better still, her cravings went away after she gave birth, so she can take those seven packs of sponges off her weekly grocery list.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/20/pregnant-woman-craves-sponges-kelly-marie-pearce_n_3782314.html
What in the name of!

[Krieger22]

http://www.bbc.co.uk...hester-23935768

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Rapist may have HIV from Greater Manchester victim
A man who has been jailed for raping a woman is waiting to find out whether he has contracted HIV from her.

It is more than a little tempting to laugh at this fellow's misfortune...

[Chyros]

Krieger22, on 03 September 2013 - 10:36, said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk...hester-23935768

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Rapist may have HIV from Greater Manchester victim
A man who has been jailed for raping a woman is waiting to find out whether he has contracted HIV from her.

It is more than a little tempting to laugh at this fellow's misfortune...

Ha, oh irony....

[Wizard]

Krieger22, on 03 September 2013 - 10:36, said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk...hester-23935768

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Rapist may have HIV from Greater Manchester victim
A man who has been jailed for raping a woman is waiting to find out whether he has contracted HIV from her.

It is more than a little tempting to laugh at this fellow's misfortune...

It is not tempting, it is outright appropriate. Do you also not consider that the word "misfortune" is the epitome of ... wrong?

[Chyros]

Wizard, on 05 September 2013 - 14:14, said:

Krieger22, on 03 September 2013 - 10:36, said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk...hester-23935768

Quote

Rapist may have HIV from Greater Manchester victim
A man who has been jailed for raping a woman is waiting to find out whether he has contracted HIV from her.

It is more than a little tempting to laugh at this fellow's misfortune...

It is not tempting, it is outright appropriate. Do you also not consider that the word "misfortune" is the epitome of ... wrong?

Depends on how you view it. "Misfortune" as opposed to "happiness" or "good luck" makes perfect sense. I mean, he's probably not exactly happy or lucky to have gotten HIV from her anoi?

[Major Fuckup]

Quote

Australia is known to many of us outside it as a nation of treacherous creatures. Redback spiders, saltwater crocodiles, and the Death Adder snake are just a few of the many local fauna that are absolutely as scary as they sound.
I spent 2011 Down Under and managed to avoid all of the above, only to break my collarbone in a motorcycle collision with a kangaroo.
Now, some are speculating that millipedes may have proverbially made an attempt at increasing their street cred by causing a train crash, according to this report from Reuters.
The claim being made is that the invertebrates coated the tracks with slime as they crawled over it, which adversely affected a train's ability to brake, causing it to crash into a stopped train.
The crash took place at low speed, but several people were sent to the hospital, according to Reuters.

Then again, railway officials are calling millipedes unlikely crash culprits... but maybe that's just what those little crawlers want us to think.

http://jalopnik.com/...rash-1259429838
Yes even the millipedes down here will try to kill you!

[Chyros]

Gah, millipedes, disgusting creatures! They should all be exterminated!

(by the way, about the redback spiders, are they the ones my friend was told to kill when he was in Australia?) ("kill the red spoiders")

[Major Fuckup]

Chyros, on 07 September 2013 - 09:44, said:

Gah, millipedes, disgusting creatures! They should all be exterminated!

(by the way, about the redback spiders, are they the ones my friend was told to kill when he was in Australia?) ("kill the red spoiders")

Yeah i kill the little fuckers too, nightmarish looking little things Just look!






THAT THING IS JUST PURE EVIL SIZED SNOW PEA WITH LEGS!

[General]

http://www.stuff.co....his-NASA-launch

[Major Fuckup]

General, on 12 September 2013 - 10:37, said:

http://www.stuff.co....his-NASA-launch

Winning

[Krieger22]

http://www.bbc.co.uk...ewhere-24131318

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Indian police arrested a restaurant owner for drinking tea "in a suspicious manner", it seems.

When Sub-Inspector Jadhav asked what Vijav Patil was doing at a tea stall in the town of Kolhapur one mid-morning, he was unhappy with the explanation of "cutting chai" - grabbing a quick half-glass of tea - reports the Times of India. So it seems the officer arrested him under a law that allows preventative detention of someone suspected of being about to commit a crime.

However, Mr Justice Gautam Patel, at Bombay High Court, was not impressed and ordered police to drop the case. "We were unaware that the law required anyone to give an explanation for having tea, whether in the morning, noon or night. One might take tea in a variety of ways, not all of them always elegant or delicate, some of them perhaps even noisy. But we know of no way to drink tea 'suspiciously'," he's said to have ruled. Prosecution pleas that Mr Patil was known to the police reportedly cut no ice with the judge: "Cutting chai is permissible, cutting corners with the law is not."

Suspicious? Did he have a kitten dangling over a pot of boiling water or something?

[Chyros]

Krieger22, on 20 September 2013 - 09:23, said:

http://www.bbc.co.uk...ewhere-24131318

Quote

Indian police arrested a restaurant owner for drinking tea "in a suspicious manner", it seems.

When Sub-Inspector Jadhav asked what Vijav Patil was doing at a tea stall in the town of Kolhapur one mid-morning, he was unhappy with the explanation of "cutting chai" - grabbing a quick half-glass of tea - reports the Times of India. So it seems the officer arrested him under a law that allows preventative detention of someone suspected of being about to commit a crime.

However, Mr Justice Gautam Patel, at Bombay High Court, was not impressed and ordered police to drop the case. "We were unaware that the law required anyone to give an explanation for having tea, whether in the morning, noon or night. One might take tea in a variety of ways, not all of them always elegant or delicate, some of them perhaps even noisy. But we know of no way to drink tea 'suspiciously'," he's said to have ruled. Prosecution pleas that Mr Patil was known to the police reportedly cut no ice with the judge: "Cutting chai is permissible, cutting corners with the law is not."

Suspicious? Did he have a kitten dangling over a pot of boiling water or something?

HAHAHA AND OF COURSE THEY'RE CALLED PATEL AND PATIL HAHAHA

[Krieger22]

http://kotaku.com/no...viol-1418633346

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A nine-year-old Orlando, Fla. boy—"so tiny ... he could barely see the judge over the podium"—was sentenced to home confinement by a state judge after he brought "multiple weapons to school." The video game being blamed? Minecraft. Mine-bleeping-craft.

*headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk*

[Slightly Wonky Robob]

I think we should campaign for more loaded guns in every household to protect our kids from these violent video games.

[Chyros]

Bob, on 29 September 2013 - 09:07, said:

I think we should campaign for more loaded guns in every household to protect our kids from these violent video games.

Indeed, fully automatic assault rifles with high-capacity magazines especially. The kind that also happens to work great on shooting sprees. But let's forget about that for a moment.

[Chyros]

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Communion wafer on burger upsets Christians

The Ghost burger from Kuma's Corner restaurant in Chicago is topped with a red wine reduction and a communion wafer. Some Christians are not happy about these garnishes.

A Chicago restaurant is now serving a gourmet burger that includes a communion wafer as a garnish.

The 10 oz. patty topped with slow-braised goat shoulder, aged white cheddar and ghost chile aioli also includes a red wine reduction.

Called the Ghost, the burger isn't going over well with Christians, for whom communion wafers and wine are part of a sacred ritual.

"I would like to ask you to show some class...and stop serving communion hosts on your hamburgers," a girl named Laura said on the Kuma's Corner Facebook page.

Like many of the burgers of the month, though, the restaurant said the special is inspired by musicians — in this case, the Swedish anti-Christian band Ghost.

"In the spirit of our undying reverence for the Lord and all things holy, we give you the Ghost which we think is a fitting tribute to the supreme blasphemous activities carried out by the band itself," the restaurant says on Facebook.

http://www.torontosu...sets-christians

[TheDR]

Ha, Jesus flesh burgers

[Chyros]

Yeah, that was fairly brilliant . The rest of the ingredients are easily just as bizarre though .

[Major Fuckup]

http://au.news.yahoo...n-our-backyard/

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Nestled in a valley about 30km east of Geraldton sits one of Australia’s most potent and least known weapons in the fight against global terrorism.
Sheep graze in the shadows of its five 20m high white radomes, which resemble giant golf balls and protect the highly-sensitive intelligence gathering equipment housed within.
Tennis courts and a swimming pool offer the spies, IT experts and other staff employed at the Kojarena Australian Defence Satellite Communications Station some reprieve from their top-secret work.
Despite its 400ha operating area and significance in counterterrorism (Kojarena was used to monitor calls to and from Osama bin Laden in Afghanistan long before the September 11 attacks), the existence of the facility still comes as a surprise to many.
But earlier this year, when American computer security expert Edward Snowden leaked details about mass surveillance programs run by his former US employer, the National Security Agency, the role of the WA spy base was soon being mentioned in dispatches.
In 2001, Kojarena faced public scrutiny when it was named as one of five satellite monitoring stations that formed an international eavesdropping network codenamed Echelon. Overseen by the NSA, which jointly manages Kojarena with the Australian Defence Signals Directorate, Echelon intercepted tens of thousands of emails, telephone calls and faxes across the planet using a “keyword” search program, or “dictionary”.
Relevant information was then shared between US, Britain, New Zealand, Canadian and Australian intelligence services.
According to Mr Snowden — now living in Russia and wanted in the US for espionage — Echelon has been superseded by internet spying programs called XKeyscore and PRISM, which can access data stored by Google, Facebook and Microsoft.
Documents reveal that XKeyscore has operated from sites all over the world, including the base near Geraldton.
But Mr Snowden’s claim that the spying program can be used on anyone anywhere has been vehemently rejected by the NSA.
“XKeyscore is used as part of NSA’s lawful foreign signals intelligence collection system, ” the agency said.
“Allegations of widespread, unchecked analyst access to NSA collection data are simply not true.”
Mr Snowden, 29, leaked a top secret XKeyscore power point presentation in which the NSA boasted that the program’s capabilities led to the capture of more than 300 terrorists around the world.
The training material also suggested that intelligence analysts have at their fingertips the power to conduct sweeping internet searches without having a specific target or authorisation.
“Show me all the encrypted word documents from Iran, ” is an example under one heading of what XKeyscore can do.
“Show me all Microsoft Excel spreadsheets containing MAC addresses coming out of Iraq so I can perform network mapping, ” is another example.
XKeyscore can also “mine” a person’s internet browsing history, email content and online chats.
State and Federal governments have long played down the Kojarena spy base’s value to a terrorist cell, saying “softer” and more populated targets were preferred.
But in 2011, the City of Geraldton highlighted the importance and need to defend the base in a submission to the Federal Government.
“A high-readiness army force, with counterinsurgency and ground-to-air missile capabilities may be justified, ” the council submission read. “Kojarena is within a short distance of Geraldton Airport.”
Opened in 1993, the base was expanded in 2007 to include a US military mobile phone satellite communications system for its troops in the Middle East and Asia.
The Kojarena location, which was secured by the Commonwealth under land acquisition powers, allows for the interception of more than 100 geostationary satellites in orbit, including those controlled by Russia, China and Pakistan.
Similar stations in Britain, US and New Zealand ensure the world’s communications satellites are covered by an intelligence-sharing deal known as the UKUSA Agreement.
According to James Bamford, the best-selling author of two books about the NSA — The Puzzle Palace and Body of Secrets — the Kojarena base was built near the “scruffy port on the Indian Ocean” to replace a British-run spy base in Hong Kong that closed in 1994.
He said the WA base was used before 1998 to listen in on calls bin Laden made via an Inmarsat (marine satellite communications) phone. The terrorist stopped using the device when the US launched a cruise missile attack on his Afghanistan camp and it became abundantly clear his phone calls had been used to track his location.
In 2007, after the expansion to Kojarena was made public and Greens MP Giz Watson raised objections in the State Parliament, then Labor minister Kim Chance said “it would have been helpful” if the Commonwealth had consulted the local council and WA Government beforehand.
On Monday, heavily-censored documents obtained under Freedom of Information laws revealed there had been discussion within the Federal Government about the legalities of the PRISM program.
“Talking points” included appropriate government responses to any concerns about the way the wide-reaching surveillance programs might encroach on the National Broadband Network.
“The US Director of National Intelligence publicly clarified that the PRISM program is an internal government computer system used to facilitate the US government’s lawful collection of foreign intelligence information from electronic communication service providers under warrants issued, ” one background document read.
But WA Greens Senator Scott Ludlam doesn’t buy the “trust us” mantra surrounding the operations of bases such as the one near Geraldton.
“The base’s role is somewhat ambiguous, ” he said.
“The government refuses to make any comment at all about what that base does. What the Snowden revelations tell us is that the surveillance is indiscriminate. To track the needle in the haystack they’re tracking the entire haystack.”
Last year, Sen. Ludlam called on the attorney-general to make a statement about the way XKeyscore, PRISM and other US programs were used in Australia.
“To wield these powers there needs to be transparency, ” he said.
In response to the Senator’s questions the Federal Government said all communication intercepts conducted by Australian agencies were lawful.

Well there you go, theres a spy base just out side a shitty cesspool of a town

[Krieger22]

http://www.news.com....3-1226740593299

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A MAN ordered to live at his uncle's as part of a bail agreement is pleading with a South African court to allow him to move because his girlfriend likes loud sex.
A lawyer for Gareth de Nysschen, who is charged with stealing and selling army ammunition, told prosecutors his girlfriend was "a screamer", according to court documents quoted by South Africa's The Star.
In an application to move out of his uncle's house, Mr de Nysschen claims he cannot have a "normal sexual relationship" with his girlfriend "due to lack of privacy".
He had previously been ordered by the court to stay at his uncle's pending his trial.
In response to his request, the investigating officer asked his lawyer why Mr de Nysschen could not have sex "at his current address".
"He said she was a screamer and the applicant wanted some privacy," she said in an affidavit.
The lawyer denies having said this, and has accused the prosecution of lying.
Judgment is expected next week.

Oddest reason for a bail change yet?

http://www.independe...er-8881883.html

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As sending positive brand signals go, naming your mascot Fukuppy is probably a step in the wrong direction.

Yeah they're right about that

Edited by Krieger22, 17 October 2013 - 09:34.

[Chyros]

^Sounds a bit like my previous upper neighbour, who was a very loud Vietnamese girl .

[Major Fuckup]

Chyros, on 17 October 2013 - 12:29, said:

^Sounds a bit like my previous upper neighbour, who was a very loud Vietnamese girl .

When they started up you should have played some Wanger heheheheh.

[Chyros]

Major Fuckup, on 19 October 2013 - 07:25, said:

Chyros, on 17 October 2013 - 12:29, said:

^Sounds a bit like my previous upper neighbour, who was a very loud Vietnamese girl .

When they started up you should have played some Wanger heheheheh.

HAHAHA that would've been fairly brilliant, yeah . I did make the noises back at some point and that cut it down a bit, but still every other week, all weekend long, I'd hear the slightly pained screams over and over again .

[Krieger22]

http://uk.reuters.co...E99K0OH20131021

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A Turkish entrepreneur has opened what he says is the country's first online sex shop for Muslims, selling everything from lubricants to herbal aphrodisiacs and offering advice on how to have "halal" sex.

Explicitly "halal" sex? What?